Chapter 510

The voice is calm, natural and even gentle.

But teacher fawn was surprised and didn't gasp for breath. He grabbed her arm and made her knuckles white because of too much force.

Great panic enveloped her. She wanted to take back her hand, but she didn't have the strength to do so.

Outwardly, both of them seemed calm.

Xiaolu teacher's hand, just grasp the arm, because too tired, it seems to have a kind of relaxed feeling.

Eye contact, sunset outside the window.

……

"It's really strange..."

Lu Xin continued to say softly: "those memories, so many years, I didn't remember, but when I remember, I found that what happened at that time was so clear. I even remember the feeling at that time, the feeling when each of them died in my hands, and the expression when each of them looked at me when they were dying..."

“……”

Xiaolu teacher suddenly forced to cover his mouth, do not let himself make a sound.

But her shoulders were shaking violently.

Lu Xin calmly turned his head and looked at her. His palm was slightly raised, as if he wanted to touch her hair.

But he gave up.

Just a slight sigh: "but what makes me most curious is that in this memory, my own feelings, in my mind, and even when those things happened at that time, every clear scene, recalled, is like walking back."

"In that memory, I have been killing people..."

"But I don't remember feeling regret or pain when I killed them. I..."

“……”

"Stop it..."

Teacher Xiaolu's trembling voice suddenly rang. Her throat was tight and her body was shaking violently.

The voice seemed to be imploring: "please, stop..."

"I..."

Lu Xin hesitated and said slowly, "but I really don't know who to talk to..."

He looked at teacher Xiaolu with some strange things in his eyes and said in a soft voice: "when I think of these things, I will understand more things. I know that I have experienced such things before, and I have been crazy for a long time..."

"At the same time, I also understand that this is why you are afraid of me?"

“……”

Teacher Xiaolu's body trembles violently. She shakes her head hard and seems to have a choking voice, but she doesn't answer.

"I can understand, really understand..."

Lu Xin repeated it twice, as if to comfort her with this sentence, and said in a low voice: "at that time, I didn't know you were afraid of me, probably because I didn't want to think about it. My memory came to an abrupt end in the scene full of blood. I don't remember why I left the orphanage at that time, I don't know how you survived that kind of serious injury... "

"I don't even know how I survived that time, and how I started to go to school and work. It's like many years have passed since the orphanage happened. Now my clear memory starts from a rainy night. I just finished my shift that day, when I came home by subway, I suddenly met you, So I greet you with a smile... "

“……”

I don't know if Lu Xin's words have recalled the memory of teacher Xiaolu back to that rainy night.

Her body trembled violently. Although she covered her mouth, she could still see her face turning white.

Lu Xin didn't seem to see anything, but she could see all the expressions on her face.

He was silent for a long time, with deep sadness in his eyes.

But the expression on his face was not controlled by himself, calm and strange.

That seems to be... Ridicule?

Only the voice was unusually soft: "it's really strange that you didn't run away at that time..."

"No... not..."

Shivering came from Lu Xin's arm. It was teacher Xiaolu's body trembling. She put down her hand covering her mouth.

His face was pale, but he was getting an unnatural blush, which was a sign of abnormal excitement.

She forced to interrupt Lu Xin's words, usually beautiful and gentle face, even with a rare anger..

Exhausted whole body strength to shout aloud: "so you..."

"So what you did later was to make up for it?"

"All these years, you've been saving and taking care of us, just to make up for it?"

“……”

Teacher Xiaolu rarely shows such expression and anger, so Lu Xin is also slightly stunned.

He seemed not used to it, which gave him a look similar to calm.

He quietly looked at teacher Xiaolu's red eyes and whispered, "if I'm compensating, what's wrong?"

"No, not at all..."

Teacher Xiaolu yelled out loud. She twisted her hands tightly and her ears turned red. She could see how hard she was. She said loudly, "I don't want your compensation, and they don't want your compensation. What you did at that time can never be compensated..."

There was a kind of power in his words, which made Lu Xin not know how to answer for a moment.

Looking at teacher Xiaolu's eyes, he seemed to be confused: "then you are..."

Teacher Xiaolu's face was full of tears: "all I want is you come back..."

"I just hope that the original you..."

"Come back..."

“……”

This answer was beyond Lu Xin's expectation. He even asked some difficult questions: "the original me?"

"What does it look like?"

“……”

"You are what you are now..."

Teacher Xiaolu clenched her fist so that she could speak smoothly: "I, I don't know what ghosts you think of, but I, I have my own judgment. I remember when I was taken to the orphanage, where I met a group of strange children like you. I saw that you were different from other children from the beginning, Everyone is different... "

"Some of them make me feel scared. They look quiet, but they are more terrible than the hooligans who rob people and things in the street."

"Only you are different. You are the quietest one in that group of children..."

"You are very good and honest. The older children don't play with you very much, so you also seem very..."

"... alone!"

"I was picked up from the street. I've been hungry for many days. Now I still remember how I looked when I first saw the food. I... I could never eat enough at that time. If someone had food in their hands, I would grab it and put it in my mouth."

"So, I remember robbing a lot of people's things and being beaten by others..."

"The older kids called me crazy, and the younger kids avoided me too..."

"Only you, only you don't get angry when I rob you..."

"Only you, when I was knocked down by others, took the initiative to pull me up..."

“……”

Xiaolu teacher said off and on, every word, very loud, exhausted all his strength, to maintain the truth he said.

"So, what happened later, it must not be you..."

She looked up at Lu Xin, and her eyes were even fierce: "it must be those people who have done something to you. After all, I've seen you pushed into the basement countless times, and I've seen fresh wounds and needle eyes on you countless times..."

"After all, that happened three days after you were locked up..."

"So..."

Because she continued to speak loudly, her breath was not smooth. She gasped a few times, and her body seemed to collapse.

Lu Xin hesitated, raised her hand and patted her on the back.

When he took the first shot, Mr. fawn straightened up, his eyes were extremely sharp.

She looked at Lu Xin with unquestionable eyes: "when I see you again, I'm not afraid."

She seemed to announce aloud, "I didn't!"

"I just want to know if you have come back..."

"Because, because I went through a process that I thought was the best place in the world, but found that it was a hell, so I decided that I would build such a beautiful place myself. I... I'm very stupid and useless. I can barely maintain this orphanage with your help, but anyway, this orphanage, It's finished... "

"Then, I have only one wish left, the former you, the gentle and kind you..."

"Still there?"

"Are you still that you?"

“……”

After listening to teacher Xiaolu's words, Lu Xin felt as if something had been touched.

In the calm mood, there was a faint splash.

He looked up out of the window, the setting sun as blood, but still with a bright can hurt people.

So he closed his eyes slightly, and the long-term memory was drawn to his eyes again. He remembered the night full of howling and bloody smell, the place where he passed, there was bright red blood everywhere, the sound of broken bones, the sound of steel bars and mud in the building, the sound of twisted and broken, the faces covered with blood, and laughter

This made him have a headache again. The blood vessels in the temple were blocked.

Eyes began to lose focus again, only teacher Xiaolu's firm eyes, still at this time, looking straight at himself.

She is still waiting for her answer.

She's questioning herself.

Lu Xin wanted to answer her very much, but he only felt his head was in disorder.

"I..."

When he opened his mouth, he found that his voice was hoarse, so he shut up and adjusted.

Then he said what he thought was the most true answer: "I may have always been myself..."

"Just..."

He paused, tapped his head and said, "I've got a problem."

Teacher Xiaolu pursed her lips tightly. There was fear and worry in her eyes, but worry had the upper hand.

Tears are still in the eyes, but these eyes are obviously frightening.

Lu Xin didn't even want to see these eyes again.

So he slowly, turned around, and walked towards the outside of the room in silence. When he got to the door, he stood still.

"I'll try to cure myself."