Chapter 20

Chapter 20

***

At 7:00 p.m. Xiang ChangKong set his status at ‘busy’ when he didn’t get any orders. He didn’t want to keep Xu Lian waiting and go hungry, so he rushed and managed to ring her doorbell at exactly 8:00 p.m.

“Xiang ChangKong, you’re here.” Xu Lian opened her front door and greeted him.

When he saw Xu Lian, Xiang ChangKong’s thoughts couldn’t help but wander, especially when he saw several hickeys on her exposed neck.

A record of their accomplishments.

“….” Xiang ChangKong suddenly turned bright red, his breathing becoming erratic.

“Come in.” Xu Lian bent down and brought out a pair of slippers for him. As he slipped off his shoes, Xiang ChangKong noticed something. It was a different pair to the ones he wore last time. These look brand new.

“Are…are these new?”

“Nn.” Xu Lian nodded. “I saw them while I was in the supermarket. I thought the blue color would suit you, so I bought it. You can wear them from now on.”

His gaze turning limp, he put on the slippers.

Later…

“What do you have in your hand?”

After Xu Lian asked, Xiang ChangKong offered her the bag. “Oh, these are some fried dumplings I bought on the way here. I was afraid you’d be hungry, so I thought you could eat these first to tide you over.”

“Alright, I’ll go get a plate for it.” Xu Lian went into the kitchen and took a plate, two bowls, and two pairs of chopsticks. Setting the table, she said: “You have some too.”

“No, I’ll just start cooking.” Xiang ChangKong replied. Then, he slowly took out a small paper bag from his backpack and handed it to Xu Lian. “This…this is for you.”

Xu Lian had just taken a bite of a dumpling. After hearing Xiang ChangKong’s words, she looked up towards him. In his hand was a small pink paper bag with a pair of rabbit ears printed on in. It was the logo of BUNNY.

“Lipstick?”

“Nn.”

Xiang ChangKong didn’t say anything else, so Xu Lian took the paper bag and took out the lipstick. “Ah, it’s this one. I wanted to buy this, but they were out of stock the last time I checked.” Xu Lian raised her head and gave Xiang ChangKong a smile. “Thank you.”

“N-no, no, it’s nothing.”

Xu Lian’s mouth raised a little more. She went out to the living room and took out a small mirror. “Let me try it.”

Xu Lian had light-colored lips, so she didn’t need a lot of lipstick to stain her lips. After applying the lipstick, she rubbed her lips together. The color was a full red with hints of peach. It was as if she had just drunk some wine, and the drink accidentally stained her lips.

She turned towards Xiang ChangKong, who had been standing nearby and asked: “How does it look?”

“Good, looks good.”Xiang ChangKong finds that he always seems to end up stuttering when next to Xu Lian.

Xu Lian smiled again. Taking a step forward, she hooked an arm around Xiang ChangKong’s neck and stands on her tiptoes. She then kissed the side of his neck, leaving a distinct lip print on the skin.

“Nn, it’s pretty.”

Xiang ChangKong: “….”

His entire body was frozen, but his neck quickly began to turn red, and his ears started to look like they were burning.

Xu Lian laughed as she leaned on a table. After a long while, Xiang ChangKong managed to come back to his senses. Still stammering, he said: “L-let me cook first.”

He was so jittery that he even forgot to wipe away the lipstick mark on his neck. Xu Lian didn’t remind him, and instead followed him back into the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, Xu Lian looked at Xiang ChangKong. He looked at its contents and said: “We can make three-color chicken with garlic shrimp and some vermicelli soup. Is that alright?”

(T/N: Three color chicken is 鸡肉炒三丁. I took some liberties when translating this. Basically, stir-fried chicken with cucumber and carrot [all diced], hence the ‘three-color.’ )

Xu Lian: “You’re the chef, I’ll listen to you.”

“Alright. Then wash these first, I’ll deal with the shrimp.” Xiang ChangKong picked up a lotus root, some lettuce, and some carrots then handed them to Xu Lian. After this, he started to peel the shrimps.

Xu Lian doesn’t really have much cooking experience, so she was somewhat nervous when she picked up the knife. But Xu Lian had fairly dexterous hands due to her job, and Xiang ChangKong gave her some helpful tips, so she managed to dice the carrots.

When she finished dicing the carrots, Xiang ChangKong was pretty much done peeling the shrimp. Taking the kitchen knife from Xu Lian, he said: “I’ll cut the set of it, you can run some water through vermicelli and mix them up with some soy sauce.”

“Alright.” Xu Lian took out a big bowl and put the vermicelli noodles in it. When she turned around, she became overwhelmed by the exquisite technique Xiang ChangKong was displaying. “You cut so fast, aren’t you afraid of accidentally cutting yourself?”

“Practice makes perfect.” Xiang ChangKong replied. “I’m used to it.”

“Ah…” Xu Lian went back to the noddles and turned on the faucet to fill the bowl with water. After a while, she drained the water and took out a bottle of soy sauce. “How much soy sauce do you want?”

“Just a little, don’t pour too much.”

Xu Lian thought about it, then asked: “Do I need a dropper?”

“…” Xiang ChangKong’s hands that were cutting the vegetables stopped for a moment. “Dropper?”

Xu Lian nodded. “When I make my gypsum boards, I usually need to pay attention to the ratio of water and gypsum. When I need to use tiny amounts of water, I use droppers to control how much I put in.”

Xiang ChangKong bit his bottom lip and said: “We don’t need to be that precise in cooking. You can just eye-ball it.”

“Alright.” As Xu Lian opened the soy sauce, she couldn’t help but taunt him a little: “But I can’t cook ah. People always say words like small, little, or appropriate amount, but in the end, just how much does that mean?”

Xiang ChangKong smiled. “You have to get a feel of such things.”

Xu Lian didn’t answer and after staring at the bottle of soy sauce in her hand, poured a few drops into the noodles. “How’s that? Is that enough?”

“Yes. You can pour some cooking wine into the shrimp, then mix it with some chopsticks.”

“How much wine?”

Xiang ChangKong chuckled then said: “An appropriate amount.”

Xu Lian: “….”

Xiang ChangKong finished cutting all vegetables and transferred them into a small bowl. He then chopped up a small clove of garlic, fried it until it turned into a golden color, then dropped in the shrimp Xu Lian had covered in wine. “OK, now we’ll let it steam for ten minutes.”

Xu Lian didn’t expect cooking shrimp to be that simple. “What do we do now?”

“You can wash some onions and cut them into shreds.” Xiang ChangKong said. “I’ll fry the chicken while the shrimp is cooking.”

“OK.” Xu Lian figured shredding an onion would be easier than dicing some carrots.

The two people stood at the counter, each busy with their respective jobs. Xiang ChangKong secretly glanced at Xu Lian, a warm and sweet feeling surging up from his heart.

They were like newlyweds.

They continued to be busy until they finally finished all the dishes at half-past eight. Xu Lian helped Xiang ChangKong bring all the plates to the table, and also carried two bowls of fragrant white rice out. She had bought the rice in Starlight Farm that morning. The clerk said they grow their rice themselves.

“Ah, this rice smells really good. Really worth its price.” Xu Lian took out her phone and snapped some pictures of the food on the table. “I’ll show my mother so she can stop saying that I only cook noodles.”

Xu Lian sent the photo she just took to her mother and added the message: ‘Made at home.’

Her mother replied immediately with a voice message. Xu Lian pressed the message to listen and heard her mother say: “Girl, did you get a boyfriend? How come you have two bowls of rice on the table?”

Xiang ChangKong: “….”

Xu Lian pressed the record button and sent a voice message back to her mother: “I’ll introduce him to you when you come back.”

Xiang ChangKong was startled, and he looked up to her. Could this be considered her acknowledging it?

Xu Lian put down her phone after she sent her message. She picked up her chopsticks and was about to start when she noticed Xiang ChangKong looking at her from the other end of the table. “What’s the matter? Why aren’t you eating?”

Xiang ChangKong hesitated for a few seconds, but then figured it was better to say something now and clear things up. “What you just said to your mother…were you serious?”

“What? Introducing you to her?” Xu Lian tilted her head. “You don’t want to?”

“No, no.” Xiang ChangKong clenched at the chopsticks in his hand. He was afraid to look at Xu Lian in the eye. “What is our relationship now?”

Xu Lian didn’t answer immediately and instead looked at him with interest. The silence in the room became so overwhelming that Xiang ChangKong could hardly breathe.

“What do you think it is?” Xu Lian asked him back. “Good friend? Or…”

“No, not…” Xiang ChangKong was anxious to deny this thought, but he couldn’t say anything else.

“If not, then it has to be boyfriend and girlfriend, right? Or are you just playing?”

“I’m not.”

“I’m not either.”

The conversation ended abruptly. They continued to stare at each other until Xiang ChangKong turned red again. He said: “Eat, eat, the dishes aren’t going to taste good when they’re cold.”

“Un.”

Although Xiang ChangKong came here today to teach her how to cook, she never actually did much. Xu Lian hadn’t tasted Xiang ChangKong’s food before, so when she took a bite of the garlic shrimp, Xu Lian was amazed. “This is delicious. This garlic shrimp tastes like something you would eat in a restaurant, really good.”

Xiang Nuan would usually praise his cooking, but when Xu Lian does it, Xiang ChangKong’s heart pounded. “Then you should eat more.”

Xiang ChangKong pushed the plate towards Xu Lian. Xu Lian noticed that there wasn’t anything other than rice on his bowl, so she took the biggest shrimp and placed it in his bowl. “Eat more.”

“Ah, I can do it myself.”

Xu Lian ate two bowls of rice that night, with the two dishes and the one soup Xiang ChangKong wiped clean. As she washed the dishes, Xu Lian became a little worried. Eating so much tonight, she would definitely need to run tomorrow morning.

“You really don’t need my help?” Xiang ChangKong stood at the kitchen door and looked at Xu Lian, who was by the sink. Xu Lian shook her head and said: “No, I overate, so I need to digest. I can just install a dishwasher next time.”

Back when she was planning the layout of her apartment, she only remembered to set aside some space for an oven. She forgot all about having a dishwasher. In the end, the oven had never been used once, and she would be washing dishes from time to time. Planning to have a dishwasher installed now wasn’t impossible, it would just be a little troublesome to place.

“I’ll be out in a minute. Go ahead to the living room and watch some TV.”

Xu Lian continued to wash the dishes without saying any more. After finishing, she walked to the living room.

Xiang ChangKong wasn’t watching the TV and was instead leaning on the balcony railing, watching the distant sky. The night wind was gently blowing his hair, black tendrils caressing his forehead.

Xu Lian had never observed a man so carefully. His facial features, his mouth, his jaw, his Adam’s apple, and his melancholy temperament that the night wind couldn’t quite disperse.

He looked like he was about to merge with the night.

Xu Lian had always known that she couldn’t get too close with other people, as trouble will always inevitably come. She had always abided by this self-imposed rule whenever she made friends. But with Xiang ChangKong, even if she knew things would sure become troublesome, she would gladly accept it all.

Because she didn’t want to just stand here and look at him.

Xu Lian walked over, leaned on the railing beside him, and asked: “What are you thinking about?”

Xiang ChangKong smiled and shook his head. “Nothing.”

Xu Lian looked at his profile for a while, then said: “How can it be nothing when you look like that? Let’s talk about it. Let older sister enlighten you.”

“Older sister?” Xiang ChangKong frowned.

“Yep.” Xu Lian nodded. “I’ve been out of university for two years.”

Xiang ChangKong looked out into the distance for a while before turning to her with a smile. “I’ve been out for three.”

“…”

Xu Lian doesn’t believe it. She had always thought that Xiang ChangKong was younger than her. “How old are you this year?”

“Twenty-four.”

“I’m twenty-four too. What month are you?”

“March.”

Xu Lian: “…”

I lost.

Xiang ChangKong, who rarely looked anything other than shy, watched her with interest. “How many months are we apart?”

“I’m in July.” Xu Lian said, looking very unwilling.

“I guess I’m older.” Xiang ChangKong said with a smile.

“…” Xu Lian curled her lips. “Naive.”

Xiang ChangKong uttered a low laugh. He doesn’t know who was more naive between the two of them.

Xu Lian was quiet for a few moments then asked: “You’ve only started delivering takeout recently, right? What were you doing before?”

Looking up at the boundless night, Xiang ChangKong replied: “I used to work in a top 500 company.”

“Why did you quit?”

“Because I needed money.” Xiang ChangKong was silent for a while. Then he slowly explained: “Our company was a big company, but it was still developing. As you know, in big companies, you would usually get promoted little by little, with your salary increasing year by year. So for the first few years, the salary you get is actually pretty low. Plus, I was just an undergraduate back then, so I wasn’t the most memorable among the bunch of graduate students.”

Xu Lian became a boss right out after graduating. She didn’t go out to find a job, but she still knew the workplace culture. It was true that newly graduated students were often seen as cheap labor. They would need to stay in the company for three, five, seven years before they could actually make a start.

“You’ve been to my house. You know my mother is ill, right? Her treatment is still ongoing. My sister is also going to university soon. I need money. Delivery jobs don’t need such a long time compared to big companies. As long as you deliver a lot, the salary can be relatively high.”

Xu Lian thought for a moment, then said: “It’s true that delivering takeout can net you more money, but your future prospects certainly aren’t as good as working in a big company. Your accumulation of two years working in the company became fruitless.”

“I wasn’t in the position to consider such things.” In addition to his mother and sister, he also needed to save money. Otherwise, there would be nothing he could do if an accident or an emergency ever happened. “And at that time, some unpleasant things were happening in the company.”

Xu Lian was still full of questions. What about his father? What exactly was wrong with his mother? These questions lingered in her mind, but in the end, she never said them aloud.

Xu Lian thought back to the books she saw on his desk, along with the wooden plane. She thought of how he would always look up at the sky with melancholic eyes.

“Xiang ChangKong.”

“Yeah?”

“You learned aircraft design in university, right?”

Xiang ChangKong looked at her in surprise. “How did you know?”

Xu Lian answered: “I saw some books in your room related to it. Since you studied it, why change your profession?”

“I used to work in that industry, but I changed jobs because of the salary issue. It was also hard to find another job in the same industry.” Xiang ChangKong replied.

“But you like flying, don’t you?”

Xiang ChangKong looked at her for a long time, not speaking. This was probably one of the things that attracted him to Xu Lian. No matter the situation, she would always be frank and open with him.

“Flying…” he whispered into the night. “I finished my undergraduate, but I didn’t go to the Institute.” After graduating, he had intended to further his studies in a flying research institute.

“I happened to come across a webpage saying that a graduate school was recruiting students.” Xu Lian commented. “Did you want to sign up?”

Xiang ChangKong’s eyes slightly trembled as he looked out at the distance. Like the dark night, they descended into silence again.

Xu Lian looked at him and said: “If it’s money, there are other ways to solve it. But when it comes to things you really want to do, you shouldn’t give up so easily.”

Xiang ChangKong opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He leaned over the balcony in silence, staring at the dark sky. The stars that were reflected in his eyes disappeared.

Just how much weight did he have to bear, for him to show such an expression? What happened that made him give up his passion?

For the first time, Xu Lian felt heartache for a person.

“Xiang ChangKong.” Xu Lian called out to him.

“What is it?” Xiang ChangKong looked at her.

Xu Lian: “Do I look good?”

“….” Having been caught off guard, Xiang ChangKong’s heart grew restless. “G-good looking.”

“Then do you want to bang?”

(T/N: Xu Lian says a Chinese slang here which roughly translates to ‘Applause love.’ It makes no sense context-wise in English, so I’m just putting another word here. Basically, she’s asking if he wants to papapa.)

“A-ah, no!”

Xiang ChangKong’s heart practically jumped out of his chest. He was so nervous that he instinctively said no. With a raised brow, Xu Lian asked: “You don’t?”

“No, no!”

“I want to.”

Xiang ChangKong: “….”

Xu Lian stared at his red face, which had been expressionless just moments before. She smiled and said: “So what are you waiting for?”

Her smile was beautiful, but to Xiang ChangKong, it was like a deadly drug.

He couldn’t help but want to hold her. As soon as he got close enough, Xu Lian hugged his neck and jumped, wrapping her legs around him.

Her whole body was hanging onto Xiang ChangKong. Xu Lian felt Xiang ChangKong’s strong hands holding her tightly. Their breaths blended together, becoming more and more disordered. Xiang ChangKong gently put her against the wall, and with his lips so close to hers, asked: “Let’s go?”

Xu Lian gasped and looked at him with watery eyes. “Yes.”

As Xiang ChangKong’s eyes darkened, he took Xu Lian to the bedroom, and they fell to bed together. The two ignited each other’s passion, and like two arrows strung, they were just about ready to go.

“How are you?”

He still remembered their last time. Xu Lian looked at him and replied: “I’m OK.”

“Then I’ll…” Whatever Xiang ChangKong said didn’t register to Xu Lian. His breath swept across her skin, like the tickle of a feather. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him down.

The temperature in the room kept rising. Their clothes were soon thrown to the ground haphazardly, and a small red box in the corner had been opened. Hugging Xu Lian, Xiang ChangKong whispered in his ear: “Do you like it?”

“Like…” She liked everything about him.

“I-I also like…” Xiang ChangKong tried to articulate his feelings as he touched her like a dragonfly touches water.

(T/N: the dragonfly touches the water lightly is an idiom meaning touching something very lightly)

Xu Lian whispered his name again and again, and feeling emotional and overwhelmed, Xiang ChangKong could only respond to her.

Afterward, they took a shower and laid down in the bed together to calm their disordered heartbeats.

Xiang ChangKong was brushing Xu Lian’s hair with his fingers. Her hair was soft and slippery, and it smelt pleasant. He rubbed the tip of his nose on Xu Lian’s head and couldn’t help sniffing. Meanwhile, Xu Lian had her face buried on his chest, listening to his powerful heartbeat. And so they comfortably stayed together, doing nothing but basking in each other’s presence.

After a while, Xiang ChangKong said: “I need to leave.”

Xu Lian frowned, then raised her head. “Do you want to go back?”

“Well…” Xiang ChangKong kissed her on the lips and said, “My mother is at home alone, so I’m feeling a little uneasy. Also, if I don’t go back, no one will cook for her tomorrow.” Even if it’s quite late already, it would be better for him to go back late than not go back at all.

Xu Lian thought about his sick mother. Thinking that she was alone at his home, even she couldn’t help but be apprehensive for her. She looked at Xiang ChangKong again and asked: “When will you come back then?”

Xiang ChangKong was stunned for a moment, and then he laughed.

Xu Lian really is a frank person. Even her desire for him wasn’t concealed.

Xiang ChangKong leaned in and said in her ear: “Call me, and I’ll come.”

Eventually, he got out of bed to look for his clothes. Xu Lian stayed on the bed and watched him dress. She found that it was quite an enjoyable thing to see someone get dressed.

After getting dressed. Xiang ChangKong walked to Xu Lian’s side and bent down to kiss her. “Go ahead and sleep. Good night.”

“Un…” Xu Lian answered with a low voice, then watched him walk out of the room.

Just as Xiang ChangKong left the building, he took out his phone and looked at the time. It was pretty late. He softly sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

The phone in his hand suddenly vibrated. Xiang ChangKong opened his phone and saw that it was Xu Lian calling him. Worried that she was feeling uncomfortable, he quickly answered the call. “Xu Lian? What’s the matter?”

Xu Lian’s voice came through the speaker: “Xiang ChangKong, look back.”

Turning around, Xiang ChangKong saw her on her balcony on the fourth floor, looking at him. She had her phone in one hand, and was leaning on the railing. Her soft, silky long hair was draped across her shoulders, like a shawl.

A gust of night wind blew. Xu Lian took advantage of the wind and threw something towards him.

It was a white paper plane.

It was like a white light, tearing through the dark night and flying towards him.

Xiang ChangKong picked up the paper plane that landed by his feet. Xu Lian said to him on the other end of the phone: “Good night.”

She then hung up and went back to her room. Xiang ChangKong stared at the paper plane in his hand, then unfolded it.

On the white paper was a line of words.

‘Death doesn’t hurt. What hurts is living.’

The things that make you ache was just proof that you’re alive.