Chapter 108: A confession

•Azalea

It was morning before I knew it but my room was dimly lit since I only had the night lamp on and the dark curtains were still covering the windows. I had no intention of opening them or to do anything.

I didn't feel like going out so I just sat on the couch in my room and thought about how I was going to face Arius now.

I sort of confessed but I didn't give him a direct answer.

I sighed.

But I'm sure he figured out what I meant.

I shook my head.

I'll just pretend yesterday never happened. I'm going to give up on him too and I'm going to throw these feelings out!

…

God…

I hate this. I feel like I'm suffocating. Can something be worse than getting rejected?

I don't know why I was trying to hold back my tears when I was alone in the room. I wanted to let them all out. I wanted to forget.

Why did I think I could have him?

Tears slipped down my cheeks and I sniffled. My head felt heavy.

This was my first heartbreak. I didn't realize how much I liked him till this moment of pain.

I didn't know this feeling was so smothering.

Tears rolled down my cheek and I let them.

I believed in redamancy. I don't know why but I did. I think about it again and again. I search for the logic behind my actions and my feelings yet I find nothing.

The room bell rang and I looked towards the door with no intention of opening it yet still, I wiped my tears.

I had cried a lot already.

The bell rang again but I didn't answer so the person on the other side knocked.

I stayed put until I heard his voice.

"Azalea?" Arius spoke, "You're in there. Aren't you?"

I didn't answer but I stood up and made my way to the door.

I didn't open it but I stood right next to it quietly and patted my cheeks dry.

"Azalea…" Arius spoke again, "Answer me."

I didn't.

He sighed, "Okay. I don't know if you're in there or not. I'm going to believe you are and that you're listening."

I gently placed my hand on the door as he continued.

"I'm sorry I couldn't answer you yesterday." I pursed my lips, "There was a lot on my mind. Many things I had no answer to…" He paused, "But I do now, from my side at least."

He took a deep breath, "I wanted to ask you something." I stood there silently.

Ask me something? I waited for his question.

"Did you think about it? If you were ever to be with me, how much danger you'll be exposed to?" I wonder if he's here to ask this to make it easier for me to give up on him? "Azalea." He called out to me softly, "Tell me, will you fine will all the threats around me? You probably won't be happy."

…

"I thought about it all night." In the serene silence I heard his broken sigh, "The whole night I thought about this. Again and again. Over and over. Will you be fine?"

...

"I've thought about everything." I finally spoke, "I've been with you for many months now. Am I not already in the danger zone?" He listened quietly, "I can take care of myself. I'm strong." I smiled to myself, "You trained me remember?"

"Then, you're fine with it?"

"I never once cared about it."

"Open the door." He asked, "Please." I hesitated, "Azalea. Just this once. I need to tell you something face to face."

I placed my hand on the handle and took a deep breath, then opened the door.

I stepped back as Arius entered the room. I looked at him as he stepped closer.

"I like you Azalea." He confessed but I couldn't believe my ears. His words became a jumble inside my head but then he repeated those words, "I like you a lot." I blinked at him in disbelief, "And I have for quite some time now."

My heartbeat started accelerating and it pounded even more when he cupped my cheek gently and kissed me.

It was a confirmation of his feelings. He was telling me that his feelings were real and his words held no lie.

The kiss was short. He broke it to ask me another question.

"Do you like me?" The question I refused to answer the night before.

I gulped, then nodded, "Yes." My voice came out as a whisper but he was close enough to hear me.

He smiled, "Will you go out with me?"

I pursed my lips and nodded.

The pain I was going through just minutes ago was gone. The horrendous feeling was now replaced by another unexplainable feeling. I couldn't define it but I was happy. Maybe even in a state of ecstasy.

Arius cupped my cheeks again but this time he was staring at my eyes. He brought out his thumbs and slid them across my under eyes softly.

"You cried?"

"No…" I denied the obvious truth. He didn't comment on it again, instead he kissed the corners of my eyes.

I was so stunned that I couldn't even say anything in response but I could feel the heat coming out of my ears and I felt my cheeks gets hot.

He held my hand and pulled me out along with him.

"Where are you taking me?"

"On a date." He glanced back at me. In proper light I saw his expression was pale and the area under his eyes were darker than yesterday. He hasn't slept for two days but he still smiled. Not his usual show-smile. This one was calmer and more genuine.

"You can rest. We can go out later." I said.

He didn't stop, "It's fine. I don't want to waste any time."

"You seem tired."

"I'm fine." He squeezed my hand a bit, "Night will come again." He stopped and looked at me.

"Right now. I just want to be with you."