Chapter 139: I can not do without you

I stared at Azalea's sleeping face as I laid by her side on the bed.

Gently and carefully I tucked the locks of her hair on her face behind her ear, making sure not to wake her up.

She had fallen asleep right after the act.

I couldn't help but smile when I thought about last night.

Those expressions, those sounds, those moans of pleasure were playing in my mind again and it was messing me up.

I shook my head.

Later. I nodded to myself. I have a lot of time. I looked back at Azalea and smiled.

I picked up my phone from the side drawer and snapped a picture of her.

Then I looked out the window. It was dawn now and I had one very important person to deal with.

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get ready.

***

The sky was turning lighter and lighter. As tones of blue replaced the shades I reached the roof of the mansion in search of Caesar.

I sighed when I didn't find him there either.

He wasn't in his room or the rose garden or the backyard.

That means there was only one place left.

The gym.

I made my way to the third floor hoping that he would be there because I had no idea where else I would look for him.

As I reached the gym I paused and took a deep breath before entering.

My eyes landed on him as soon as I stepped foot in the room. He was sitting on the bench binding the bandages around his hands, probably preparing for some boxing practise.

"Caesar" I called out to him but he ignored me.

I walked towards him but he stood up from the bench and walked towards the sandbag.

"Caesar." I walked towards him, "I know you're mad." He continued to deny my existence, "I know I did wrong." I explained anyway, "I lost from you and yet drugged you all."

He held the sandbag with one hand and stabilized it.

"That had to be do-" He punched the bag so hard the sound boomed in the room and I automatically shut up. Then I tried speaking again, "If I hadn't do-" He hit it again, cutting me off. Then again and again.

I knew he was ignoring me. He didn't want an explanation.

He was angry.

And of course considering his personality he'd do this.

But I'd rather have him lash out at me. Fight me or maybe even beat me up but I couldn't have him ignoring me.

I couldn't take it.

Not from him.

"Caesar!!" I tried again but he continued his exercise. It was getting frustrating, "I couldn't lose you, you asshole!!!!" I finally yelled at him.

He stopped and finally turned his head towards me, "You couldn't lose me?" This was the very first time I ever saw these expressions on him. The expressions of hurt mixed with anger.

"Caesar, if I took any of you with me they would have killed you."

"What about you then?" He stepped closer to me, " If I didn't wake up on time and came to you, you would have been dead."

I had no answer for that. My gaze dropped. He was right, "I know…"

"Then why!!?"

"I had to, for the family."

He gritted his teeth, "What would have been the point if you died? Huh!? Didn't you think about the rest of us?! What would we all have done?! What would I have done!??? What family? HUH!!??"

I gulped. The point I was going to state now was good enough to have him kill me.

"If I had died," I wanted to look somewhere else but I managed to keep my gaze on him, "You would be the next head. For little while, until the members find other places to go to."

I know that was cruel.

It would be a brutal punishment for him even though I know he doesn't deserve it.

Caesar stared at me wide-eyed. The anger he had in his eyes multiplied and the very next moment he punched me right across the face.

The force was strong enough to make me lose all my balance and skid on the floor.

"What do you take me for?" I raised my head from the ground to look at him. My jaw hurt but I had no right to stop that hit.

I deserved it.

He came and stood above me, with his feet on either side of my stomach. He kneeled down and grabbed my shirt.

"Maybe you don't care for me at all." He said.

"That's not true." I denied it strongly.

"Then why would you do something like that?" His voice softened and I saw the corners of his eyes get wet, "You may not need me Arius, but I do." He shook his head softly, "Ever since you brought me back, you have been my only family." The strength in his hands were gone and the shirt slipped out of his grip, "You really are cruel." He gave me a disappointed smile and got up.

I immediately got up after him and grabbed his arm, "Caesar no. You have it wrong."

He glared back at me, "Let me go."

I refused, "It's the other way around." I stated, "I can't lose you. Not you. It's me who needs you. I'm the one who can't do without you."

He shook his head, "No Arius. You know that's not true."

"It is!!" I yelled. I needed him to understand that, "If it weren't for you I never would have made it back home." I needed him to listen, "Caesar you're my family! My friend and my strongest support." I must be looking desperate for his expression softened, "I had to do that because I couldn't afford to lose anyone any more." I let his arm go as I felt my own feelings swell up.

"Why didn't you think about me? I can't afford to lose you either."

"I did." I balled my fists, "The thought of losing anyone else over weighed anything else. I knew I would hurt you the most when I drugged you all but it was better than losing you or anyone else."

"And you think you made the right decision?"

I nodded, "I did." I looked at him as I began calming down, "The master himself said that he would have had us all killed if I had brought anyone else or had sent a representative." I licked my dry lips, "I knew something like that could happen, that's why I made the decision of going alone." I kneeled down and placed my hands on my thighs, "I'm sorry. I'll explain everything that happened properly." I felt my throat dry, "I just want you to know that I'd never want to lose you."

I stared at my hands as I heard him come closer.

He kneeled in front of me and I raised my head to look at him.

His expressions were soft.

"I don't know what to say anymore." He started, "But I've calmed down." I looked down again when he did the same and out foreheads joined, "Still," He whispered, "You know this is the only home I have." I closed my eyes when he spoke.

"I know." I spoke softly, "I wish we were a normal family and..."

"Not in a place where someone might die unexpectedly." He stole the words from my mind and I chuckled.

"Yea…" After a few moments of silence I opened my eyes and raised my head to look at him. He did the same, "Caesar."

"Hmm?"

"I'll forgive you for the kiss."

He made a disgusted expression and stood up, "I pray to God that never happens again."

I stood up, "Why? Weren't my lips soft and lucious?"

I looked at me with a blank expression, "No." He gave me a stern answer and I pouted.

Then we both started laughing.

I honestly hope this was our first and last fight.