Chapter 242 - 242. Not Tomorrow.

Tony sat across for Jessie as she sit perfectly still, totally silent. Her hands supporting her head from where they anchored on her knees.

Her ringing phone cutting through the silence, she looked down with a tear stained face. 

"Who's that?" Tony asked.

"Celeste, Jonathan's mother." Jessie said looking at Tony with a puzzled expression. 

"Why is she calling you?" 

Jessie shrugged, she answered the phone sniffling before she spoke. "Celeste?"

There was an awkward pause at first, but then she spoke. "Jessie? How are you? I heard of the awful incident that happened last night with Jonathan." 

Jessie pushed her hair behind her ears and thought about how she should answer. That was right she was in an accident last night. Yet she was out of the hospital in less than a day, but at what cost? She did not even know weather to be thankful or annoyed.

"I should have let you answer your calls, it's my fault I'm sure you would have gotten a warning if I hadn't done that." She continued when Jessie remained silent.

"Oh no! It's most definitely not your fault, I should even be apologising to you for putting Jonathan in such a situation. He got hurt because he was in that car with me. I'm sorry." She said quickly ignoring the pangs of guilt. Not once after she left the hospital had she thought about Jonathan. It had only been a few hours quite alright but still...

"Nonsense. It's not your fault." Celeste said seriously. 

"Well if it's not my fault then it isn't yours either." She insisted. "But I am fine, i was discharged earlier this morning. So you should know that i am indeed fine." 

"I'm glad to hear that, have you spoken to Jonathan after you left the hospital?" She asked.

"Why? Is something wrong?" 

"... that's what I was hoping you could tell me." She said. "He was in the most terrible mood when I was with him this morning and now he has disappeared." 

Another wave of heart clenching guilt. "Disappeared? Where?" She asked, trying to keep her voice even. It was one thing to mess with a person another thing for the person's mother to find out. She had too much on her plate to worry about an interfering mama hen.

"I wouldn't have used the word disappeared if I knew where he was now would I?" She stated bluntly. 

"..." she bit her lips in response. "I don't know where he is, honestly I don't even know his favourite places in the city, or where- there's a spa he likes to go to." She said suddenly remembering the place she first met Jonathan. 

"I do." His mother stated curtly. "I'll send you some addresses, help me look? He really was in a terrible state when he left his house. I just hope he's okay." She said her voice slightly cracking at the end.

Forgetting to ask why Celeste asked for help, or the fact that she was still convalescent and sad she agreed. She needed to talk to Jonathan either way, and somehow she just knew she was behind his sudden disappearance. 

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To her surprise Tony gladly escorted her around the city looking for Jonathan. Shw expected him to make a fuss and refuse, she expected to do a whole lot of begging perhaps even bring out the pity card cause goodness knows she had enough of a pitiful life but he agreed on first request. 

Now she stood at the top of the Kang empire, looking at the beautiful sunset. This was a surprisingly beautiful scenery. The sky was a mixture of purple and orange and you could see the dark silhouettes of building, she felt as though she was in a painting. One of those silhouettes belonged to Jonathan she finally found him. 

Jessie approached him with so much caution, it was almost ludicrous. What does one say in this situation? How does she make him feel better, when her happiness made him sad?

"Jonathan?" Her voice was soft, so light it could disappear in the breeze but he heard it. Infact he sensed it the moment she walked through that door.

At first he didn't react because he didn't know how to, he felt embarrassed and foolish but still he was hurt, so very hurt. He didn't have the right to be, he knew where he stood in her heart but it didn't make anything better. He still loved her, he couldn't help it.

When and how he feel so deeply for her creeped up on even he himself, but the fact was that he loved her.

"Jonathan?" She called out again.

He turned around and met gazes with her. It was twilight, and she looked... so very, very... sad?

Suddenly his phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out. 

Don't be too hard on her, she's losing everything. 

It was from Krystal, he wondered what was everything that she was losing?

"You've been crying." He said softly, surprising her. She looked down consciously touching her cheeks in case she didn't feel a stray tear drop.

She looked back at him, "how can you tell?" She asked.

"I just did." His voice was steady but she felt so heavy inside.

"Jonathan." She said again. 

"If you want to cry, I suppose I'm good company. I'm also sad, heartbroken if I may. I sure there will be now reservations if we do it together." He said.

She sighed heavily, smiling softly. She had spent the entire day looking for him, pretending to be strong in front Tony. He couldn't know how sad she was about everything. But somehow standing about six feet away from Jonathan she felt like she could be herself. She could express her feelings, be as sad as she wanted. Because even though it was her fault he just got her.

"You're supposed to be yelling at me, it would have been easier if you had just been yelling at me." She choked out, her eyes watering mercilessly. 

"Why? We're just friends aren't we?" He asked so plainly she coughed out a sob, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

She shook her head as the tears flowed freely, "I can't help but feel this is Karma for what I did to you earlier this morning." 

"Jessie " he said softly. 

"No" she shook her head, stopping him from interrupting her. "I wasn't thinking, it wasn't fair." 

"It's not as if you hadn't made it clear to me, I know what you feel for my brother. I should understand, I should-"

"You don't have to understand anything" she shook her head. "I was wrong, you're not just anyone. I might not love you but I care deeply for you, I know this is selfish but I can't loose you Jonathan. You've always been someone I could rely on, you saved me when I couldn't save myself. You've become important to me." 

"But you can't love me." He whispered but she heard.

"Jonathan."

"I'll rescue you again today, but not tomorrow. Maybe in the future but not tomorrow" he shook his head. His words cryptic but she understood it. He was going to need time away from her, and she understood. Didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"At the beginning of the day, infact until a few moments before now. I was determined to rob my brother of everything he has. Including you..." he started. "But you... make me want to be a better person, somehow I want to always be the hero you came to care for." 

She sniffled as she let him speak, "but I cannot watch you be happy with Jason, I need more time to learn to pretend." 

"Pretend?"

"That I don't love you, because I don't think I could ever stop loving you." He replied. 

At this point Jessie could not help the powerful sobs that racked her skinny frame, bending over she put her hand in her plams and just cried.

Cried for the guilt, for the hurt, for the anger that coursed hotly through her veins. She cried for the loss and the fact that as messed up as her life was she could have affection of such amazing men. Such an amazing man.

Jonathan didn't walk over to her, he didn't need to being there was enough comfort. Besides he didn't trust himself to actually touch her. And still walk away.

She hadn't cried, not really so right there as the sky darkened she did. Before Jonathan, she cried and cried. He just stood there and let her scream until her lungs where raspy, cry with such tremorous sobs, and weep until her eyes were raw and red. And when she was done, weak and spent. 

He walked over to her picked her up and walked away from the rooftop. Too weak to fight she just rested against his strong shoulders and fell asleep. 

Tony didn't know what to make of the situation, why was Jessie being carried? By Jonathan? Worse in Jason building. At first he was alarmed but Jonathan cryptic explanation was enough convince the man of her wellbeing without really giving any real detail as to what happened.

He didn't think she wanted anyone to see her like that. So he didn't talk, after dropping her soundly in the car bound back to Jason. He couldn't help but out a soft kiss on her forehead and walk away. At least for the time being.