Chapter 322 - 322. Ungrateful.

And serious he was. Not a wink not the entire night. He hadn't let her even yawn without forcing her up for a walk or something. After she had showered, brushed and clad in something that wasn't stained in her blood. Katherine worked on her nose. And she hadn't realised it was so bad until she looked like pinocchio after Katherine was done dressing it. When everything was done, and she was left alone for those few seconds everything, the adrenaline had worn off and the tension has eased all that was left was just her. Jessie. And a deeper, realisation.

"You think you are such a victim, such a good person yet you are only looking for that auction house to save your skin."

"Tell me this Jessie, if you were still the famous and revered actress you once were would you care about an auction house if you heard of it?"

"I'm just saying it as it is. You only care about yourself."

"What? A few eggs and some meaningless insults. Does that make you the biggest victim in the world? Come on now princess, I'm sure you feel no one can ever compare to how much you've had to go through. But there are women in that auction house who are raped over and over and over until they die, or kill themselves. They have to kneel and grovel to pot bellied, disgusting men that use their bodies as trash for their disgusting releases. But you don't even want to stop that, you just want to prove that the auction house exists, to safe you reputation. To save yourself."

Jessie collected her knees to herself and placed her head on them as the tears began to stream out. Perhaps she deserved what happened this night, maybe she deserved everything that had happened up till now. Soft, painful sobs began to wreck her whole frame and she struggled to breathe. When it all came crashing back it was too painful. Nothing, nothing hurt like this. Not even Jason breaking her like that, this was a problem with herself. After all this while she still, only cared about herself. How much different was she from Patricia then? She didn't kill anyone but she didn't save them either. 

What was even the use of being an actress again then? She wasn't always like this, she cared once, she fought for others once. When did she become so selfish and self absorbed? When did she get so entitled?

"Jessie?" Jason deep voice softened as he walked to her. "Jessie, are you okay?" 

She lifted her head to look at him. "Jason I'm I a bad person?" 

"What would make you say that? Of course not." Jason stated firmly, kneeling to level the heights between them.

"Then why are all this things happening to me?" 

"Jessie this is not your fault." Jason insisted. 

"No, you don't understand. All I care about is becoming an actress again. That is it." She sighed, trying to blink the fresh tears away. "I don't care about the people that are suffering, or the fact that I could help them. I don't care about that auction house for more than making it public. I don't care about the people the Lee's have hurt but just taking them down because they hurt me. I'm so ungrateful, so ungrateful to the fact that I had it better. That you were the one that bought me that day, all the people I've come to know, the friendships that even run deeper than my own family. I'm..." she breathed out heavily, unable to stop the sob. "I deserve this, I... I..."

"Shh..." Jason whispered, pulling her to himself and holding her tight. Jessie arms snaked around his torso and she buried her face in his shoulder as she shook aganist him. "You are not a bad person Jessie, you not a bad person." He said softly, as he rubbed up and down her back.

"But-"

"No, no buts. Sure you didn't think about anyone else, but why should you? Who said you had to think of anyone else? You would expose the auction house, by default all those women would be free. You would bring down the Lee's, that would avenge all the people they've hurt. Why should you feel bad because you were thinking of only yourself?" He asked. "Look at me." He said holding her face in his palms. "There is no one, no one in this world that can be you, if you don't think of yourself then who would? You're perfect Jessie. Just perfect." He said wiping her tears.

At that moment she just needed to be here, in Jason's arms. She needed to feel his warmth, she didn't realise how badly she missed this until she had it back. Pulling him to herself she placed a soft kiss on his lips and his arms around her waist tightened. 

Jason deepened the kiss as her hands and fingers cupped the side on his face and she combed into his hair with her fingers. Without asking she allowed him permission, allowing him to take the lead. She moaned into the kiss when his tongue stroked hers, this... this was what a kiss ought to be. Her body was alive and begging, she arched her back, as the desperate and aching swells of her chest seeked relief. The moment the came in contact with his hard chest she wanted more, she needed more, she craved more. Her hands crawled lower and lower until she was lifting the hem of his shirt up. Then she winced and Jason's gaze lifted instantly. 

"Jessie, Jessie..." Jason breathed out heavily. 

"What?" She asked.

"Not now, not while you're like this. I don't know how much control I will have, it's already so difficult holding back." He said.

"Well I don't want you to hold back." She frowned. "I want this Jason." 

"I want this, I really do but not while you look like a wooden liar. Besides If I do this I'll only be taking advantage of you." He said.

"Then take advantage." She insisted.

"Gosh, I hate to do this" he groaned "but you don't mean it. I hurt you Jessie, you are sad. Your first time isn't going to be like this." 

"I don't care, I don't have the right to be mad at you, you're sorry aren't you?" She asked.

"More than anything, but Jessie I hurt you. I know how badly, this is the reason why- wait... what makes you think you don't have the right to he mad at me?" 

"Because Jason, if it weren't for you I would have been dead or worse empty and lost. Having to be someone's object for their disgusting fantasies and ... and..." 

Jason caught her arms in his and pulled her to him. "I have no idea where you are getting this stupid ideas, but never ever say that. You are here with me, that's it. You should get mad, throw things because I was a jerk and I understand now. I am going to therapy because that is what I should have done from the get go. And I am grateful to the woman that helped me realise that. And so very sorry for treating you that way." 

"Oh Jason..." she smiled. "I'm glad, and I'm also grateful for everything you've done for me. A place to stay, giving me everything I needed, loving me. That was more than I should have gotten but you gave it to me. And I understand that now. I'm sorry for being so entitled and so ungrateful." 

"You deserve much more Jessie, you deserve the world." He insisted. "And that is why I won't do this now." 

"Jason" she frowned. 

"Come." He said, lifting her of the sofa she sat on and taking her to the bed. 

"I can sleep now?" 

"Yeah. Now sleep and get rid of that stupid notion of not being a good person." He said.

"Will you stay with me? Please." She asked, looking up at him with those eyes.

"That I will gladly do."