Chapter 339 - 339. No Tears Left To Cry.

Tear stained pink cheeks, soft, wet full pink lips, moist lashes and and red eyes. Jessie had been crying non stop for days and Jason was out of things to do, he had no idea how to even comfort her, how to make her feel better and watching her like this did something to him. He was sad that Tony was dead but he felt really heartbroken seeing Jessie so wretched. Now she sat motionless, making no movements she remained quiet, the silent tears flowing and dripping down her chin the only indication that she actually was conscious to her surroundings. 

It was really sunny today, the chapel bell kept tolling, the grass seemed greener even and the air was so fresh it was hard to believe that such a beautiful day would be remembered with such heartbreaking memories. This beautiful prefect day, stained with black dresses and suits. Sobbing and goodbyes, sitting underneath the canopy they all tried one way or another to reconcile the fact that a man so full of life was no longer in the world. 

"Jessie? Would you like to say something?" Elsie called out from the pulpit, and it seemed it wasn't the first attempt made at getting the actresses attention. Jason held her trembling hands as he asked if she would be okay with his kind gaze.

Jessie sniffled and rose, taking small steps, one at a time she finally reached the podium. She had never been shy in her life, never afraid of a crowd. So she couldn't blame her silence on her nerves, that wasn't it.. She wouldn't even blame it on the fact that the audience was blurry in her eyes, that was the fault of her tears. He was here, he was everywhere she remembered everything. How rude she was to him when she met him as a child, he was young then, when he worked for her father. She remembered how he stood up for her when she was about to be kicked out of the company for breaking the rules, how he protected her from her malicious comments, hiding them from her and reassuring her endlessly. How he stood by her side, sacrificed for her, she remembered how shy he was when he first met Elsie and how angry he had been when she asked her out on his behalf. She remembered his first daughter, how happy he was. What was she supposed to do with all this memories now?

"Jessie, are you okay? You don't have to say anything if you don't want to" Jason reassuring hand, warm and firm held her steady as he rubbed her lower back. Turning to look at him fresh tears fell down her eyes.

"What am I supposed to do with all these memories?" She cried, "how am I supposed to say goodbye? How do I explain what Tomy really meant to me?" 

Jason pulled her to him but she resisted, shaking her head she tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her. "Hey, hey, look at me" he ordered, cupping her cheek. "You are strong, your stronger than this, you can do this you will survive through that emptiness inside of you, the regret and the guilt."

"But I don't want to survive!" She screamed, pushing away. "I don't want to say goodbye! I want Tony, I want him to be here!" She yelled, choking on her own sobs, falling to her knees she fisted her palms and cried. "Please don't go! Please!!" 

When her lack of food and dehydration finally caught up to her and she fell, Jason caught her and carried her in his arms. Eyeing Elsie sympathetically he carried her away from the burial ground, still in the cemetery he set her on a bench. "Drink this." He said handing her a bottle of juice. 

"No, I don't want it" she declined stubbornly pushing his hand away.

Fed up with her behaviour he grabbed her arm and shoved the drink into her hand but she was more annoyed, "I don't want it!" She screamed throwing the bottle into the grass.

Matt who stood beside them made a move to get the bottle but Jason shook his head, walking to the spot where she tossed the bottle he bent down and picked it up, wiping the dirt from it he walked back and held it out for her. Looking at the bottle, contempt her eyes turned up and she looked at him with the same contempt. "Are you deaf? I don't want it!" 

"I wasn't asking!" He yelled back, "are you trying to kill yourself?! You haven't eaten a thing in almost five days, I wonder how you still have tears left to cry. Do you want to die?"

"Yes, maybe then Tony would stop walking away from me!" She screamed. 

Jason scoffed, walking a few steps away he turned around and marched right back, "how selfish! You are a real bad person! How could you disregard Tony like this?" 

"What?"

"He gave his life for yours, and your just going to throw it away?" He growled. 

"I didn't ask him to do that! If he is so eager to help me he can start by not giving his life for mine!" 

Smack!!

Jessie head tilted to an awkward angle as a bright red palm print appeared on her face. Jason eyes widened as he was not expecting it, where did she even come from?

"How dare you, how dare you!" Elsie yelled. Jessie eyes slowly lifted and she looked up at Elsie in shame. "You will not question Tony's decision! If even I his wife is still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that a piece of my soul is dead, the father of my three toddlers is no longer here. If I don't question his decision how dare you?" 

"Tony adored you, so much sometimes I felt insecure, he was like a father and a friend to you, and it's even more shocking that he was willing to just die for you, regardless of all he had in this world!" 

Jessie blinked at her in shock... "what? Am I not allowed to be angry? My husband died saving someone else! He left his daughters in this world so you could live! Yes, I said I was okay with it, I lied! I am not okay, I'm trying really trying to make sense of everything, trying to at least put his soul to rest how is he supposed to rest in peace if you won't let him go!" She cried. "Do you think I don't want him back? Do you know how hard it is explaining to toddlers the reason their daddy will never come back?" 

"...I-I'm... I'm sorry, it all my fault." Jessie replied sobbing. 

"Yes, it all your fault." Elsie agreed and as Jaaon stepped forward to reprimand her she continued, "so you will pay for Tony's life."

"Elsie!" Jason exclaimed from behind her but she ignored him.

"Don't give up on your life, my husband gave his life for it. Eat well, rest do and everything you want to do and do it without regret..." she bit her lip to try stifle a sob. "Tony was a wonderful man and even though I want him back so bad, I am grateful for the time I spent with him. I regret nothing, not the fights, or the bad times. So live like him, do everything and when you've lived a full prosperous life you can go see him then. Only then will his sacrifice be meaningful." 

"Elsie..." 

Looking back at Jason she pleaded "she doesn't have him to look out for anymore. He must have trusted you if he was confident dying so take care of her." Elsie stated.

Jason stepped forward and nodded. "Elsie, I know it's not much or any consolation infact but here" he handed her a check.

Elsie looked down at it and laughed, "I don't need your money, Tony was a capable father and husband."

Reaching for her hand he placed the check in her hand. "I have no doubt of that, but more money never hurt anyone. Besides it a blank check, anything you want write it down and consider it done. It doesn't only have to be money, I am good for more than that as well." 

Looking skceptical at the check, she smiled. "Fine, I will be calling you on this favour." She said.

"Please, you would be doing me a favour by doing so." Jason agreed.

"I will be going back in now, take care of her."

"Ofcourse" Jason agreed, watching the fresh widow as she retreated away, "walk her back." He ordered Matt, who left immediately. 

Sitting beside Jessie he handed her the juice. Slowly her hand reached out and she wrapped her slender fingers around the bottle and took it away from him. Opening it up she brought it to her lips and for the first time in days she allowed something to enter her body. She mustn't give up of this life, she mustn't give up on her happiness or her Peace of mind. Someone died for it, Tony died for it.