Chapter 221 - After All, I Lied

Lilith's POV

I always have one wish.

As a kid, people have different aspirations and desires that I wanted to achieve. It's natural for one to be ambitious when they are young. Their pure minds flow with a bunch of dreams and aspirations.

But as they grow up, things change drastically.

Their dreams change. 

Their aspirations change.

Their ambition dies.

I, for one, also had vast dreams. My young mind was flowing with ambition. I have always been a prodigy child so my parents expected high from me. And being from a royal family, the pressure was immense.

But everything changed that one evening. Everything I worked so hard for came tumbling down in an instant. Ripped of my worth and respect, I became a subject of public hatred.

That night left me with curses and a new wish that I desired.

But from that point, I just kept falling in the endless abyss. With no end, leaving everything behind. Everything I once loved so much changed into something I despised.

I despised myself.

"What? Free from what?" He asked in confusion, as I sighed and stared towards the dark ceiling. I don't know what kind of face I was making, but the words that left my mouth were, "From everything."

This serene silence around me with nothing but the soft noise of two people breathing next to each other. This atmosphere reminded me of a specific time. I thought that I fell in love with a human.

But a devil like me wasn't worthy of a pure feeling like love.

"So I was right. This contract does bind you too." He said, which actually intrigued me a lot. The fact he already thought of this was something which made me more interested in him at that moment. I chuckled and said, "Bind me? How interesting… Tell me further."

"What?" He said in a bit embarrassed tone, as I continued, "What made you conclude this?"

"I don't know… I had a feeling that the reason behind your confidentiality remains within the contract itself." He replied quite confidently, and after a brief pause, continued, "Well it was just a speculation but judging by your reaction… I can tell that I hit the nail."

"You already thought of that?" I asked him, as his deduction skills quite impressed me. He nodded, and replied in a rather joyful tone, "I was theorising about every possibility, so this seemed quite a legible one."

It was rare to hear excitement in his voice. He always had a grumpy expression on his face, which gave off a vibe that he was always pissed off. Well, of course, he had reasons as to why he was like that, but I never had a conversation with him about that.

"But… aren't you the one who made this contract? Why would you let it bind you?" He asked, as I chuckled and replied in a vague tone, "Only if everything was as simple as that, Saishi."

"What?" He asked as there was a bit of confusion in his voice. Of course, he didn't know anything about me, nor this contract, so it was completely natural for him to be curious. 

But since I couldn't directly tell him about it, I decided to hear what he had to say. Even though I know he would be wrong about most of the part, if that feeds his curiosity, then let it be.

After all, I was reaching closer towards my goal just because of him, so that's the least I could do by lending him an ear. I was starting to feel bad about this. It felt like I was betraying him, but I couldn't care less about it because once this ends, nothing will mean anything to anyone.

Only if I wasn't tied up by that seal.

"I see… you have quite some theories about this contract." I said in an excited voice to show my eagerness as his voice trailed off in confusion, "Yes…"

He was thinking that telling me about it would be useless since I won't be able to make my comments and he was absolutely right about that part.

"Well, I'm curious about them… tell me." I said as he tried to present his concern, "But…"

Knowing him, there was a slight chance that he would be able to figure out some part of this. Of course, the part that was available to him, that is. Since I couldn't comment on anything, I said, "I won't be able to say anything but I know a way to make sure you would know whether you're right or not." 

"What? He asked curiously, as I extended my index finger and touched his back with the tip of it. Tracing a circle on his back, I continued, "I'll draw a circle on your back if you're right. And a cross if you're wrong."

"What the… why can't you just say it?!" He said with a bit of confusion in his hesitant tone. I retracted my finger back, and there was an awkward silence between us. In a soft yet assertive tone, I said, "I… think you won't understand."

"Huh?" I heard his irritated voice, but before he could continue any further I replied instantly, "No… it's not your fault… it's because I can't even tell you."

"So… basically you can't tell me why you can't tell me?" He asked me in a rather sarcastic tone, to which I chuckled and replied, "Sounds stupid, right?"

"Sure does." He replied with a nod, as I could see his head movement. Wondering about it for some moment, I decided that it'll be the best thing to do. Grabbing his shirt between my index and thumb finger, I tugged on it lightly and said, "Turn around for a bit."

"Huh?" I heard his confused voice as he slowly turned towards me with confusion in his eyes. I chuckled slightly, as it was time for him to see why I couldn't tell him anything about the contract.

After all, I lied.

It wasn't me who made this contract.