Chapter 11 - Fake Smiles

I opened the door of my apartment. Lilith was standing near the door. Seems like she was waiting for me.

"You know, you got something delivered today." She said, pointing towards my room.

I headed to my room, Lilith following me behind. The futon that I ordered was lying on the floor beside my bed.

"Aww, you brought a futon so that you could sleep on the floor and I can sleep on the bed." Lilith said, poking my cheeks.

I looked at her in disappointment.

"No need to look at me like that, you're a nice person from inside." She said as she jumped on my bed.

"Futon is for you. So that you can sleep on the floor comfortably."

"Wait what?" I nodded as I saw her cheerfulness fading away.

"You're a jerk." She pouted.

"A considerate jerk." I laughed.

The next few days went by as nothing interesting happened except me and Tomose texting each other each night. I got to know a lot about her.

She used to be a nerd in middle school, but she changed that vibe about her in high school.

Also it turns out, both of us passionately hated mathematics.

We also started talking more frequently in school.

Kana told me they sorted out their fight between them and everything was normal again. Seems like Sakura and Yoshiwa handled this maturely.

I asked Kana about Tomose's strange behaviour and she said that Tomose acts like that because she is eccentric and has ego problems.

Now, I don't know how much of that was true, because talking with her, I never felt like she was egocentric. Though I don't know her as well as she does.

It was a Friday, the weekend again. I was talking with Yukimura outside his archery club about how his preparations were going for the sports festival.

He was more interested in my relationship with Kana and Tomose.

"I didn't think you would be the reason for their fight." He laughed.

"Yeah, it was pretty lame." I sighed.

"Well, when are you going to talk about it?" He asked, as he looked at me with a smirk.

"Talk about what?"

"You know what I mean." He put his arm on my shoulder.

"Well, when the time comes, I will."

"You've always been like that." He laughed and went inside his club.

This guy actually knows a lot about me. Also, the fact that he knows more about me than my own parents was hilarious.

I was walking back to the class; I noticed Tomose walking towards me with a gloomy face. She didn't notice me as she was staring at the ground in front of her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Huh, Sakamaki-kun." Her lips curved into a smile.

"Tell me what's wrong instead of giving me that fake smile." My tone was rude.

"Wh-What do you mean by that?"

"You don't have to act in front of me."

She stared at me for a few seconds. She didn't expected my sudden change in composure.

"I um… I feel-" She stopped mid-sentence. It's like she didn't have the courage to say it. She needed a little push.

"See Tomose-san, if telling this helps you, I'm all ears for you. If you're not comfortable here, let's go to some quiet place."

"It's just that I... I don't know how to say this." She was struggling to speak her mind.

"Tomose-san, follow me." I held her hand and started walking. I could feel her eyes on me.

I have never been so desperate to listen to someone blabber about their life problems. How drastically my life has changed.

We found a nice place near the playground. There were a few people around us, albeit everyone was busy with their own things.

"So what is it?"

She didn't say anything. I was about to say something but she opened her mouth and said something.

"I'm sorry that you've to bear with me being a pain in the ass."

Seriously, that's what you said. Well it's good that she understands her being a pain but she have to stop apologising after every little thing.

"Why are you always so apologetic?"

"I'm not."

"You are. You were really quick to apologize that day when you forgot to cook for me."

"Well, it was my fault."

I stared at her quietly. She was getting the flow of the conversation so I didn't want to break it by saying something unnecessary.

"I may sound really bad, that's why I don't want to say it."

"Don't worry, you can tell me anything you want." I took a small pause and added. "Even if it's about your dearest people." and saw her hazel eyes getting wider in surprise.

"How- wait? What?"

"Well, now you can talk about it right?" I said as I leaned on the wall beside me. It seemed to give her the little push she needed.

"So yeah, actually I'm starting to feel like my friend circle is bad." I nodded as she continued.

"I feel like they always try to belittle me but I think it's my ego that's talking right now."

"I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I hate them. That's what I feel right now."

"It's okay. You can carry on." I said as I kept listening to her. She was getting a bit comfortable about sharing this with me.

"Today, Sakura-san told me that I was being a bitch because I compared my handwriting with hers and mine was of course better."

"Yeah I have seen your handwriting. It's really good." I remember seeing it last week.

"See, I mean it's not my fault that her handwriting is trash." She sighed.

"I know what you mean, I also feel like this sometimes. I have so many things I want to say but at the same time I don't want to be rude."

"I know right." Her eyes lit up. Seems like we're talking on the same page.

"I once created a fake mail to text those people, and give them a piece of my mind." I laughed awkwardly.

"But later I realized it wasn't really worth my time." I added. She chuckled.

"Yeah like I have so many things I want to say to them, but I won't. I can't actually." She said in a low voice.

"What do you mean by you can't?" I asked.

"I mean they are my only friends, I don't want to end up hurting them just because of my ego problems."

"To be honest, I don't think you have ego problems." I looked at her staring at me. "And as far friends go, you can rely on me anytime."

She didn't say anything, and kept staring at me.

"Well, thanks Sakamaki-kun, for listening to this self centered girl." She said with a bitter laugh.

"You don't have to worry about it. You can be what you want. It's your life. Don't let others' opinions carve your life." She stared at me blankly for a few seconds.

I let other people carve me, and what did I become? Nothing but a defective showpiece that lays around in a corner of your house.

"You're actually a nice person. I'm glad I told you about this." She said while slightly tilting her head in a playful manner.

"Feeling better?"

"A little bit." She smiled, it was genuine this time.

We walked back to our class. At the entrance of our class, Kana was standing and her gaze was scanning for a teacher.

She pulled me by my tie as I was about to enter.

"So you're with other girls now, huh!?" She looked me in the eyes and then glanced at Tomose.

"I didn't know you're a playboy." I was so confused, and Tomose's mouth was also open in shock.

A smug formed on Kana's face as she saw us both out of our wits.

"I was just kidding." She laughed and pulled Tomose's cheeks.

Holy shit, that was one hell of a prank. I think Lilith will be a worthy opponent for her. Knowing Lilith she would just destroy Kana, to be honest.

The rest of the day, Tomose was indeed happy or at least she appeared to be.

Humans are the only creatures who are really adept at controlling their emotions and hiding it. That's what makes us superior to other creatures.

But some people have the ability to completely suppress their emotions and it always amazed me.

Though some people naturally are less emotional than others and some people forcefully hide their emotions.

If I had to guess, Tomose was the latter one, that's why she was so mentally isolated at some points that she needed a mask to maintain her normal composure.

I was slowly getting a grip on this situation. Lilith said this is a contract and I'll get targets but this damn contract doesn't even have a decent amount of intel on their targets.

What are the people in hell doing? Probably regretting their life. Oh wait, they don't have any.

After observing this situation for more than two weeks, and getting to know about Tomose. I'm sure about one thing now.

I can't make her fall for me.