Chapter 93 - It Was Always Him

Yasurouka's POV

It's been quite some days since he confessed to me. Even though we were talking, there was something that felt really different between us. The conversations felt different, the eye contacts felt deceptive.

I don't know how I have been spending the last few days with so many thoughts conflicting inside my mind. Everything was messed up. His thoughts made me restless, but again when I imagine him looking at me with his dark eyes, a strange sense of comfort washes over me.

Whenever I imagine him hugging me, the feel of his touch on me. The peace in between his arms with my head resting on his chest and nothing but silence between us.

What were these feelings? 

I loved him?

It was really difficult for me to believe that he loves me in the first place. The feeling was surreal. I can't get that moment of my mind when he stared into eyes and confessed his feelings.

The words "I've fallen for you." have been playing on a loop in my ears. Only the thought of it made me restless. I knew what kind of expression I was wearing. I was blushing hard while thinking about him.

He doesn't know how anything he does has been affecting me in the past few days. I was getting jealous over him. Now that I think about back when he was talking with that junior girl Chiaki, a sense of possession takes over me. 

What was he getting so nice for?

Didn't he just reject her? 

Talking because he was just passing by? 

Oh, give me a break!

Nooooo! What was wrong with me? I wasn't sure whether or not I loved him, but I don't like to see him being nice to any other girl. Of course, just because he likes me doesn't mean that he can't be nice to any other girl. But what if begins to like her instead?

I looked back towards his desk, but he wasn't there. I looked around the class to search for him, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. The last period was already over and students were leaving the class. Maybe he left the class too. I was too immersed in my thoughts that I didn't notice him leaving.

"Let's go… Reina?" I heard Koi's voice with a hint of concern in it as she probably looked at my troubled face.

"Koi have you seen Saishi?" I asked in a panic.

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?" She was more concerned about me rather than answering my question.

"Everything is fine. Just tell me… have you seen him?" I smiled at her.

"He just walked down the stairs when I was returning to the class."

"Thanks… "

"Where are you going?"

"I… have some stuff to do…" Picking up my bag, I rushed outside of the class and headed towards the stairs.

"Eh?" Koi was left in confusion, but I didn't have time to attend to her. I will probably tell her later about everything, but right now I have something else to do.

He went down the stairs, but he can go anywhere. What if he again went to talk with Chiaki? Oh, my god why am I like this!? Of course, he won't do that after he straightforwardly confessed to me.

But just the thought of him talking with someone else makes my heart beat faster. Why was I getting so restless? I have talked with him before too. This time is no different.

I just have to tell him that I love him, too. It's not that much of an arduous task. I can do it. Finally, the time has come for which I have always been waiting.

Climbing down the stairs, I turned my head left and right to look for him, but I couldn't see him anywhere because of the lack of lights on the ground floor hallways. There weren't many students to be seen roaming, but I caught a sight of two silhouettes walking down the hallways.

I knew it was him. Even though it was just his silhouette, I knew it was him. I ran towards him. It looked like he was walking with Tsumen next to him, but all my attention was only on him.

Approaching him, I grabbed a hold of his shirt from behind and the words that left from my mouth were, "Wait for me."

He turned his head to look at me and the plain look on his face changed into a surprised one.

"Don't go." I again repeated myself but it felt like a battle to get those words out of my mouth again. It was good when I practiced it in my mind, but I can't seem to talk properly now that he is in front of me.

"Oi… Reina? Are you good?" He braced my shoulders and tilted his head to take a better look at my face. I don't know what kind of expression I was making.

"I have to tell you something, so please don't leave yet." I couldn't gather the courage to look into his eyes or what he was doing. My gazes were locked on his white shirt in front of me.

"Tsumen, I'll meet you later." I heard his voice.

"See you later then," Tsumen replied. 

I glanced at him walking away from us, leaving us both alone. Now that we were alone, my heart was beating faster than ever. My face was feeling hot and my palms were cold. 

Is this love? If this was, then it's one heck of a scary feeling. But at the same time, I lasted for him at that moment.

I was in love with him.

I had to tell him that I really loved him. It has always been him. He was always by my side, but I kept denying the fact that someone could love me. Even though that someone was always next to me, looking after me in silence, and not saying a word.

What kind of idiot was I?

I slowly raised my eyes to look at him, and he was already staring at me. He took his hands out of his pocket and advanced it towards me. I averted my eyes from him and tucked my head, only to receive a soft chop on my head.

"Come on, we talk while walking too." I heard him say as he turned around and started walking.