Chapter 5 - Arc 1 4 – But, What’s The Catch?

“Alright, so, I will take on an identity of a soon-to-be-dead dude, and then will have to, well, avoid dying, right?”

“Right! But don’t worry, host! You will receive the original owner’s memories, and you’ll even know the full details of how they were supposed to die! You’ll even have my full assistance! Avoiding death will be super easy!” Blackie assured with utmost confidence.

“But what if I fail and end up dying prematurely anyway? What happens then?” Was there some kind of fine print? Like, if you die (and you will because we’ll make sure you do ), your soul will be sacrificed in a satanic ritual?

“One of my missions is to help you… not die, so the chances of you dying prematurely are low. But if your death cannot be prevented, then you’ll just be transmigrated into the next world.”

Noah squinted his eyes at the shard, “There is no penalty for premature death whatsoever?”

“Generally, no. Unless you committed suicide yourself…”

Noah’s eyelid started twitching, ‘Gee, thanks. I’m so glad you felt the need to point out suicide in particular. It speaks volumes about what lovely and idyllic life you expect me to lead when the only rule you explicitly defined is not to commit suicide...’

Noah exhaled a long breath, “Is that all?”

“That’s all! ”

“…But what’s the catch?”

“W-what do you mean?? O-of course there is no such thing! T-there are absolutely no tricks involved! Absolutely! (; ﾟ 3ﾟ )~♪” Blackie spluttered.

Noah stared at the clearly bullshitting shard, unconvinced “…Riiiiight. So, the identity you are giving me isn’t going to be seriously messed up, like becoming a mass murderer on the run?”

“Probably not? The overseeing system will choose for you an identity that gives you the highest chance of success in completing the mission while also being compatible with you as a person. So basically, it is safe to assume that you will always be a relatively young-looking male with an acceptable moral character.”

“…and these worlds you are sending me to aren’t some kind of super dangerous and horrific worlds, like, a world going through a zombie apocalypse or something?”

Blackie visibly paused, his shard-like body starting to fidget. “…uh …some of them… might be a bit… dangerous? But, as I said, you’ll have my full assistance! No need to worry!”

“Aha! I knew there had to be a catch!” Noah nodded, his lips curling in gratifying victory. “Then, what is this mission I need to complete?”

Blackie’s floating movements abruptly halted. If he wasn’t just a glowing shard, he would probably be sweating buckets right about now. “Mission? What mission? There is no mission!”

Noah: (ꐦ ◠‿◠) “Do you think I am deaf?!? Don’t think I haven’t heard you mention a mission just now!!!”

Blackie: (⊙x⊙;) ‘…a slip of the tongue …fuck.’

“…And what makes you think I’m stupid enough to not even consider what you are getting out of all this?!”

Blackie seemed to wilt in resignation, “Al-alright… so… um… yeah… each of the worlds you will be sent to does have a very important mission that needs to be completed… But this mission is rather… uh… special… it’s a kind of mission that has a higher chance of success if the agent doesn’t know what it is, so… uh… we can’t tell you about it… But…! No need to worry, host! It is a super easy mission! You were chosen for the task because out of all the souls in our database, you have the highest chance of success! So it will absolutely be super easy for you! “

What kind of mission will have a higher chance of success if the person doing it doesn’t know what it is? Suspicious much?

“Host, rest assured! Since you won’t know what the mission is, then, of course, we can’t penalize you for failing it! Just pretend like there is no mission and go about doing what you want to do! If you end up completing the mission on your own, then great, if not, then… well… better luck next time.”

╮(╯∀╰)╭

Noah was getting more and more skeptical about this whole thing but could do nothing about it. “Why me? Why do I have the highest chance of completing this mission?”

“Uh… um… the success chance is calculated by a complicated algorithm that takes into account many, many parameters, such as your talents, abilities, personality, beliefs, etc.”

“…you are not just lying to me because you don’t dare tell me what the mission really is, are you?”

This time Blackie really fell out of the sky but was luckily caught by Noah, “O-Of-Of course not!!!”

Noah: “Oh. Great! Sign me up!” ╰(*°▽°*)╯

Black: “…” ‘I did not see that one coming.’

Actually, Noah’s bad opinion of this organization aside, an ability to live multiple lifetimes while visiting all kinds of different places did sound nice. Even if those places were filled with zombies.

More so, there might be potential rewards, he has nothing to lose, and most importantly…!

…the only alternative is reincarnation… (눈_눈)

What was there to hesitate about?

The shard trembled in agitation, “Great! It’s a deal!”, then with speed so fast that Noah was completely unable to react in time, it flew right into his chest.

Noah felt no impact. Just warmth spreading all over his body from where the shard entered.

Moments after the shard disappeared, when he had already thought the process was over, something stirred within his soul. Something completely foreign yet intimate. Noah’s heart skipped a beat, yet before he could make sense of it, the fleeting sensation was gone as if it were never there in the first place.

“Is that it? Sooo, no contract written in blood? No selling my soul off to the devil? How anticlimactic. Feelin’ kinda disappointed.”

“… as I said, we are not cultists!” Blackie’s fuming now reverberated clearly inside Noah’s head, as if the words were a product of his own thoughts.

“Great!” Noah beamed, “But what’s in it for me?”

“…what?” Confused exasperation leaked into Blackie’s tone.

“I said, what do I get from helping you guys out? It’s a job, right? Not free labor.”

“…You get to travel to a bunch of interesting places, have fun adventures, meet new people, and live many lifetimes. What more do you want?”

“Don’t try to swindle me! I know how these things go! Do you know how many world-hopping stories I’ve read before? I’m supposed to receive rewards for successfully completing missions! Remuneration! Employee benefits!”

“… that’s how it goes for most agents of the Bureau, but as I said, your circumstances are special.”

“How are my circumstances special? Am I not working for you like every other agent?”

(╬ಠ益ಠ) “You don’t have to actually do anything and have no penalty for failure!!!”

Noah smugly repeated Blackies own words, “Of course you can’t penalize me for failing to complete a mission I never even received!” (≖‿≖)

Blackie: (눈_눈)

“Blackie, Blackie! Don’t be so stubborn! Have you ever played an RPG? Imagine a quest giver telling you, ‘hey pal, you go do some stuff for me’. But then after you finish it, you find out that shitty quest offered no remuneration! It’s all about the experience! Do you know what would happen then? Hehe, fueled by their righteous indignation, players will storm off to give the game a 1-star review!”

Blackie: (눈_눈) “Transferring to the first world, in three…”

“Ah, wait! (っ °Д °;)っNo need to take drastic measures! Let’s talk this out peacefully!”

“Two…”

“Alright, then I’ll get back to you with my demands later?”

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

“One…” 凸(｀0’)凸

“Fuc…!” QAQ

At that moment, everything went black, well, everything that wasn’t already black. And then a moment after, it all turned into white.