Chapter 152: Faith

<Well that certainly seems unlikely,> BB said, <Power to rival you, well us, would put them on at least a star breaker level when we unleash our current accessible potential. Chances are Yr'Arl is lowballing us just a little bit.>

I'd like to believe that BB was right about that. 

I had suspected for a while that, at my current strength, I was probably no where near strong enough to consider myself as one of the strongest beings in the galaxy. But for random forest creatures on an alien world to be as strong as me? That seemed a little far fetched and difficult to believe.

But at the same time, if Yr'Arl was correct, then we were going to be in a whole lot of danger while making our way through the forest. 

<He isn't correct, it would be literally impossible for him to be correct,> BB reiterated his point, <You're only as strong as you are because of what can be amounted to literal divine intervention. What sort of deity do you think is hanging out in the woods giving impossible powers to squirrels?>

Yeesh, a star system destroying squirrel, now there was a terrifying thought. 

"Well, we'll just have to be careful then," I eventually said to Yr'Arl, "Even if they're not entirely at my level they'll still be dangerous considering I don't have a proper grip on how to control my powers at the moment. It'd do for us to be extremely cautious." 

"Once more I concur with your viewpoint, Squadron Leader Jacob Lyre," Yr'Arl said, his eyes swivelling from side to side as if he were expecting to be attacked at any moment. 

I began walking toward the forest, happy to see that as I clambered out of the gouge in the ground that the ship had made as it slid through the topsoil during our crash that when I put my feet on hard solid dirt I didn't even make a crack on the surface.

Admittedly, that did make me worry just a little bit. 

Why else would the ground be so tough if not to withstand the impacts of creatures that were equal to me in strength?

I felt what could only be the equivalent of an eye-roll from the presence of BB in my mind. He was clearly very unconvinced that there could be creatures that were as strong as us present on this planet. 

I hoped he was right. 

"I'm sorry, by the way," I said as we walked, the guilt had been building up in my chest for a while now. 

"Sorry?" Yr'Arl asked, clearly he didn't get why I felt bad all of a sudden. 

"Well, you put your faith in me. Again. Now look where I've landed us," I replied, "Not exactly the best person to put your faith in, I guess. But hey, you know that now." 

I gave a defeated shrug. 

Yr'Arl had put his faith in me, which from what I understood was a nearly religious turn of phrase in his culture. He literally believed that I could lead him toward a better tomorrow, that was why he put his faith in me. All I'd done was lead him to a crash on a world neither of us had ever heard of before. 

"You humans are quite strange, if you don't mind my saying Squadron Leader Jacob Lyre," Yr'Arl responded. 

I was a bit taken aback by that response. It was potentially the strongest words Yr'Arl had ever used toward me. Usually, he was all deferral and niceness, even when we were sparring. Calling my species strange? If anything were strange it was that. 

"Strange in what way?" I asked once I'd had a chance to absorb what the feline alien had said. 

"Oh, in truth many ways, but this way, in particular, affects you the most I think," Yr'Arl replied, "You take things onto yourself much too heavily. As if all the sins of the universe are yours to bear and yours to bear alone when that is not the case in the slightest." 

I glanced at the alien for a moment, but he seemed deep in thought, trying to figure out how he wanted to say what he was mulling over. 

"But you put your faith in me," I said, not giving him the chance to continue, "And then I totally blew that by crashing us into a planet of all things. I mean, who crashes into a planet? They're massive!" 

Yr'Arl let out a deep, long, suffering sigh. 

"You are most vexing at times if you do not mind my saying so Squadron Leader Jacob Lyre," Yr'Arl said, "There is a darkness that you allow to wash over your thoughts. It makes you believe that you are not worthy of things such as my faith, even though that sort of thing is not your choice to make." 

This time I really was stumped by what Yr'Arl had to say. It was similar to things I'd heard, and dismissed, back on my homeworld. 

People had always told me that I wallowed in self-pity too much. That I allowed grief and depression to wash away my happiness like a sandcastle after being hit by a strong wave. 

But it was hard not to. 

No one seemed to understand that bit. 

"Nevertheless," Yr'Arl continued, "No matter how your own thoughts mould your view of the world, I will still maintain my faith in you until you do something that I deem worthy of dismantling that faith. It has not happened so far, and in this time that we have begun to know each other I believe it will not happen any time soon." 

I had to bite back the sting of hot tears threatening to wobble over the corner of my eyes at that one. It was probably one of the nicest things that someone had ever said to me. 

<Yeah, well, if you're done moping about all the praise you're getting, look sharp. We're about to enter the forest,> BB said. 

He sounded panicked, worried almost. 

Maybe there was more to Yr'Arl's warning than the AI had been willing to admit.