Chapter 726 - It's Your Own Decision

“You know, senpai. I hate seeing you cry… And knowing that it’s because of me, that hate gets directed at myself…” I whispered right next to Arisa-senpai’s ear. We’re now sitting on the infirmary bed with my back resting on the headrest. Arisa-senpai was in front of me while my arms enclosed around her shoulders in a tight embrace.

On the other hand, she’s clutching my arms tightly so as to not let me pull it back and her head rested comfortably on me.

Right. We’re still afraid to face each other in fear of that undeniable attraction for each other. But then, holding her like this and feeling her warmth was enough to make me teeter between my restraint and my desire to make her mine.

That’s why I closed my eyes and just relaxed my chin on her shoulder while inhaling her delightful fragrance and enjoying this little moment with her.

Anyway, after being tackled by her and feeling the tears that seeped through my clothes, the thought of leaving the room vanished completely in my mind.

Even if I had the aptitude to be the coldest guy in the world once I decided on something, Arisa-senpai, no, any of my girls crying and being hurt was enough to make my knees bend.

I’m this hopeless…

As I listened to her breathing that finally stabilized, I put all my focus into accommodating her. If I noticed that she’s even a little bit uncomfortable, I would adjust to it. The curtain was also closed, just in case Hayashi-sensei or any other student suddenly showed up.

Well, it’s the Mentor Program time so unless something happened, we would be undisturbed here. Nonetheless, this was the best I could do today, hold her close to me…

Even if she didn’t say it, she got taken over by her impulse and that resulted in her tackling me down.

She’s most likely already regretting it, evident by her continued silence.

“…I cried because I wanted to, understand? It’s not because of you.” Arisa-senpai returned a whisper. However, I could easily point out how unconvincing it was. She bit her lip and turned her head to the side again, not letting me see what kind of expression she’s having.

But because she did that, that side of her neck opened up for me. Tempted by it, my face and lips dug through her loose dark brown hair that covered her pristine skin. The refreshing fragrance of her shampoo filled my nose when I did that, heightening my desire for her.

The thought of replying to her words quickly passed by my mind and was replaced by that temptation to make her mine.

As soon as my lips pressed into that soft and spotless part of her neck, Arisa-senpai trembled slightly as she let out a surprised yelp.

But I didn’t stop at just that. I tucked her hair to her ear to give me more access

With the fragrant obstruction out of the way, the milky scent of her soap now filled my nose, leading my lips to drop more kisses on that part of her neck.

“O-onoda-kun… Will you stop that?” She said in difficulty but even so, Arisa-senpai kept her head tilted like that.

But instead of answering her, my lips climbed up to her exposed ear and nibbled that soft part where she had a piercing for her earring. From there, I climbed further to her earlobe, producing more alluring reactions from Arisa-senpai.

However, as if she couldn’t fight it any longer, Arisa-senpai’s hand grabbed my hair and pulled my head away from her.

Because of that, I broke out of my trance that was entirely focused on devouring her.

“I told you to stop… I didn’t prevent you from leaving for this…”

Although she sounded slightly perplexed at what I did, I didn’t sense any rejection on her part.

Perhaps, if I forced it despite her pulling on my hair, she’d succumb eventually.

Nonetheless, I still picked the decision to stop.

“Mhm… I’m sorry, senpai. This is why I want to leave… I’m losing my mind just being this close to you.” I explained it honestly.

Upon hearing that, her ear that was already wet with my saliva reddened further before she responded in a barely audible voice. “…Y-you’re not alone in that sentiment.”

Naturally, I caught it loud and clear which made my lips curve up.

I tried teasing her for it but after a few exchanges where she almost gave in, I stopped.

I straightened up my back and put on a serious expression. Although she couldn’t see it because she’s still refusing to look at me, she could imagine it through my voice.

“Alright then, senpai. Let’s move on to the main issue… Why did you stop me? No… before that, why did you spy on me? Didn’t you choose to avoid me? Both you and Izumi-senpai.”

“… I don’t know. I only thought of checking if you’re waiting… But then that happened.”

“I see… You will probably be relieved if you didn’t find me there.”

“That’s not the—”

“Yes. That’s the case, senpai. You’re feeling guilty for last week. You stood me up. You’ve already made your choice, after all. And truthfully, I’m slightly relieved that you picked that. Associating with me will just entangle you into a complex situation. You did well on dodging that.”

“…”

“Naturally, although I’m slightly relieved, I’m more disappointed. But what can I do? I told you about my past and my current situation. Any sane person will pick the same choice as you. Uh… I’m not saying Nami and the others are insane but… you get the gist of it. It’s abnormal enough that it will cause a shift to your current normal life.” I continued upon noticing her abrupt silence.

She’s probably thinking of what to say or what to rebut. Nonetheless, I didn’t give her a chance to do so, I laid down what’s on my mind; what I thought about her choice.

Given that she didn’t even try to correct me… I’m probably close to the mark.

“I respect senpai’s decision. I’m there because of the program. I can’t miss it, right? Nonetheless, seeing that I didn’t get into any trouble last week, you both filled my entry by yourselves. If you wish to continue doing so… feel free and I… I’ll make use of my time on other things.”

I could use that time to study, look for Shio, or just simply rest. I couldn’t afford to waste it when the path to our future was still only a drawing.

“This is why I stopped you. You’ve reached your own conclusion again. Let me say something first!”

“Hmm. Aren’t I close? But let’s see. Will that change something?”

“I have no idea…”

This girl… She’s filled with uncertainty, huh?

Our relationship could definitely be realized by simply accepting my situation. But because of her past and the heinously complex situation I was in, she couldn’t take that step.

No… It’s more like she's at an impasse. There’s only that attraction that’s edging her on and nothing else. But that simple attraction towards me was enough to balance her aversion to this kind of relationship and her guilty conscience.

What’s missing was another reason why she had to pick one situation over the other.

Either I make her fall in love with me as a support to her attraction or she finds herself another compelling reason that can outweigh that attraction.

“I see. You don’t have to force yourself, senpai. I’ll make it easy for you. Whether you like it or not, you will continue seeing me on a daily basis because of Nami and the other girls in your club. If you tell me to just continue being your junior at this moment, I’ll gladly respect that decision. I’ll stop any advances and return to just being your cheeky junior. Even this closeness we’re sharing right now will stop completely. What do you say?”

Upon hearing that, Arisa-senpai took a while before she could utter a response. “… You’ll stop just like that?”

“If it’s to your convenience, why not? You might only feel attraction to me, senpai. But for me, I like you. I care about you almost the same way I care about Nami. I’m aware of my situation. It’s not pretty and colorful. That’s why I cannot just make a decision for you. It can only be yours. Whatever it is, I’ll be respecting it… I’ve already confessed my feelings to you and that will not change.”

Although I didn’t tell her that I wouldn’t try again in the future, at least everything I said was the truth. If she’s against it then so be it. I’d just try again in the future.

Just like that, Arisa-senpai once again fell into contemplation.