Chapter 239 - Oh Brother

Arei gave Jos's knee a light squeeze as he lifted from the theater seat. "I'm going to go make some more popcorn and grab a few drinks. Would you like anything?" His eyes held hers, the light from the large screen reflecting in her aqua eyes.

"I'm fine, thank you." She sent him a warm smile. She could feel her cheeks heat when he bent and placed a light kiss to the top of her head.

"Alright, I'll be back in a few minutes." Arei said as he worked his way toward the door. He'd just gotten into the kitchen and located the snacks he'd been looking for when the door opened behind him.

"How are you doing, brother?" Chary asked as she leaned against the counter beside him.

Arei furrowed his brows as he removed the wrapper from the microwaveable popcorn and placed it into the fancy microwave. "Fine... hell better than fine, why?"

She smiled sadly up at him. "You don't seem fine. I'll admit you are happier than I've seen you in the past several hundred years, but I wouldn't say you're fine... What's going on? You seem like you're walking on edge lately. Is it something to do with the girl? Is it Jos? Is it about that boy?" She placed a hand on her brother's arm. "I know I tease you a lot, but I'm here if you want to talk about it."

He frowned as he turned and leaned against the countertop. He ran both hands across his hair as he blew out a heavy sigh. His eyes focused on the door across the room leading to where Jos now sat in his father's home under his protection. "All of it, I guess..." He moved his gaze over to meet his sister's. "It's been one emotional rollercoaster after another since our paths crossed in Florida. I've tried my best to hide them, not wanting to add any undue stress on her or the others..." He gave Chary a crooked smile. "But I guess I've not done a well enough job at it."

She squeezed his shoulder as she smiled sadly up at him. "You forget little brother; I know you well. Probably better than anyone aside from Ry." She shook her head. "It's not good to keep all that bottled up. Have you at least tried to tell her how you're feeling?"

He huffed out a sigh. "I've tried. I've explained my feelings in-depth... for the most part... But it's always like walking on eggshells around her... Before it was because of her feelings for the boy, then because of his possessiveness for her... her constant denial of any lingering feelings for me to now saying she still loves me. One minute she's pushing me away, the next wanting to take things the next step... I don't want to be a rebound for her, a way for her to get over the chaotic mess that was her relationship with the boy... a short term way to ease her pain... that she later grows to regret or see as nothing more than a time of weakness." He shook his head. "I couldn't live with myself if I ever saw the same pain and regret in her eyes as the last time she ran away from me."

"Sounds like it's almost more heartache than it's worth. Are you sure this is what you want?" Chary asked.

His eyes widened and he quickly corrected himself. "Don't get me wrong, she's worth every bit of it! I never stopped loving her. No matter what I have to go through now, if it means keeping her happy in the long term it's worth it. I just don't want to give in to a moment of weakness and wreck it all a second time." He shook his head. "She's making that incredibly hard..."

Chary sent him a knowing smile. "Maybe, she's not after a rebound either... Maybe she's ready to move forward with you again."

He shook his head again. "It's still too soon. You heard and saw the kid, there's no way that the things he said didn't resonate with her at some level. She needs time to heal before we complicate things by trying to get back to that place we were before her memories were taken... it's better for her and myself as well..."

Chary nodded as she gave her brother's arm one last pat and pushed away from the counter. "Here, I'll help you carry some of that."

Jos gave Shelly's head a light pat as she smiled down at the wolf. "You know what, I am thirsty after all... Would you like anything else from the kitchen?" She asked as she pushed up from the seats. She hadn't noticed Chary also missing from the theater as she made her way from the room. With a little effort and a few wrong door choices, she finally found the wide double doors leading into the massive kitchen. A warm smile spread across her lips as she heard Arei's voice from inside. She was just about to push the door open when his words hit her ears, causing her to freeze in her tracks. '...it's always like walking on eggshells around her... Before it was because of her feelings for the boy, then because of his possessiveness for her... her constant denial of any lingering feelings for me to now saying she still loves me. One minute she's pushing me away, the next wanting to take things the next step... I don't want to be a rebound for her, a way for her to get over the chaotic mess that was her relationship with the boy... a short-term way to ease her pain...' Her breath caught painfully in her lungs as her knees threatened to give out. {This is what he thinks?!} His words kept reverberating in her mind as she forced herself to back away from the door. When she was sure her footsteps wouldn't be heard, she began running until she was back at the theater entrance. Jos froze once again. {I can't just go back in there and pretend nothing happened... like I didn't hear that...} Tears threatened to spill out from her eyes. {But I can't take off without at least saying something to Shelly...} She straightened her shoulders and forced herself to push open the doors. She made her way quietly back to where the wolf waited. "Hey, I'm going to go lay down. I'm tired... Do you want to stay and finish the movie or come up with me?"

Shelly nodded toward the screen.

"Alright. Sleep well, I'll see you in the morning." She gave the wolf a pat on the head before turning back toward the doors. She forced herself to take slow controlled steps even though a tiny voice in the back of her mind was screaming at her to run before he walked back through those doors. As the doors pushed open just as she was about to reach out for them, she wished she'd listened to that voice. Her eyes widened as Arei stepped into the room. She quickly forced her gaze away from him as she felt tears build once again. Pushing past him, she mumbled. "I'm tired. I'm going upstairs." She didn't wait for him to reply as she quickly made her way past him and into the hall.

"Wait!" Arei called after her as he turned from the door, but she had already disappeared. He let out a heavy sigh as he turned back to Chary. "Here could you take this? She doesn't need to be running around the halls by herself."

Chary nodded as she made room in her arms for the bowl and drinks. "Don't worry about the girl, I'll bring her up once the movie is over..." Her twinkling eyes met his. "Unless you'd like me to keep her in our room tonight."

He let out an irritated grunt. "I've already told you my feelings on that."

Chary shrugged. "Very well." She nodded toward the hall. "Then go after her already..."

He gave her arm an affectionate pat as he turned from the doorway. "Thanks."

Jos had barely made it to the bedroom before her tears began to flood her eyes. She crawled into the window seat and leaned against the cool glass pulling her knees tightly against her body. She couldn't stop her mind's torturous playback of the past weeks she'd spent with Arei... all the things she'd said to him about wanting to be with Russ... about loving Russ... {Yes, it was true... it still is in a way... I will always love Russ... but it was never the kind of love I felt when Arei and I were together... the way I've begun to feel again... I was never IN love with Russ...} She squeezed her eyes tightly closed as thoughts of the many times Arei had been forced to watch her and Russ's affectionate displays... the many times he had to know what they'd been doing together... {Of course that is how he would feel after all that... I've simply not wanted to see how it has affected him... I only wanted to see him for the solid support that he could be for me right now... I'm such a horrible person...} Her sobs broke the silence of the room as she clung tighter to her knees drowning out the low creek of the door as it opened.

"Jos?" Arei carefully closed the door behind him and walked over to where she sat huddled up in the window seat. He slowly moved his hand to her arm. "What's wrong?" His question was only answered by another round of sobs. He sat on the edge of the seat facing her. "Jos, come on... you can tell me what's bothering you."

Jos choked back another round of sobs. "Just like you tell me what's bothering you?" Her red-rimmed aqua eyes met his. "You think I'm only trying to use you?"

He let out a long, heavy breath. "You heard what I said to Chary in the kitchen then." He said finally. He watched as more pain reflected from her eyes as she nodded. He released her arm and scooted back against the window pressing his back to the cool glass. "I don't think you're intentionally using me as a rebound... I just know how much pain you're in right now." His troubled eyes moved over to hers. "It's only natural to want to find something more pleasant to replace those feelings." He moved his hand over to cup her cheek. "I don't hold any of it against you. Like I told Chary, the simple truth of the matter is, I couldn't bear spending the next almost 400 years with you if we were to do something now that you would regret soon after." He waited until her teary eyes met his. "I love you too much... you mean too much to me to see you go through that kind of pain for a few nights of p.l.e.a.s.u.r.e."

Her mind played back memories of all the pained expressions he'd tried to hide in Maine. She shook her head. "It's not just that, is it? You can't stop thinking of me with him when you look at me..."

Arei frowned releasing her cheek as he looked away. "I'd be lying if I denied that. Every second I had to endure seeing the two of you together was torture... and I suppose it's not just your feelings I'm trying to protect right now." His eyes moved to her white-knuckled hands that gripped her knees. He tugged gently at her grip until he had one of her hands freed. Giving her a light tug, he pulled her into his l.a.p. Tucking her against his massive c.h.e.s.t, he stroked her hair. "I don't hold any of that against you. I understand fully that you and the kid-Russ... had already been in a relationship for some time before I came back into your life. I'm to blame for staying away as long as I had-"

"It wasn't your fault. It was the hold Zeus had over you." Jos quickly threw in taking his defense.

He frowned. "For the most part, when I was free of his hold... I could have found a way back to you... hell, I tried fifty years earlier to no avail. The simple truth was, I was scared... For your safety and of more heartache of my own. I guess I figured the pain of not knowing whether you still cared for me and having the tiny slither of hope that you could and would one day seek me out on your own outweighed the pain a second rejection would have caused." He carefully lifted her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet his. "I know you may see me as some superhuman being with complete control of my emotions and whatever have you, but, Jos, I'm still only a man... I may not act blindly on them, but they are still there." He searched her eyes for several long minutes before finally saying. "Maybe I've been going about this the wrong way... Instead of telling you that I think it's you that needs some time, I should say it's me..." Before she had time to respond he lowered his lips to hers for a long tender kiss. When her confused eyes met his as he lifted away from her, he smiled. "Not to say I don't want every part of you or that I want to take a step back from where we are." His lips curled up exposing straight white teeth. "I'm only saying, I don't want to rush what we have. I don't want you regretting any part of being with me this time around." He trailed his fingers along her jawline, lacing them into the hair below her ear, and pulled her lips up to meet his once again, this time more passionately.

Jos's hands moved instinctively up over his c.h.e.s.t and across his broad shoulders as she shifted in his l.a.p. She fumbled awkwardly as she tried to straddle his thick t.h.i.g.hs, giving herself better access to his lips. She couldn't help the smile that curved her lips around his well-controlled, deep kisses. The feel of his hands running along her back and into her hair sent delicious chills along her body. She pushed the sudden panic aside when she felt him grow hard beneath her. He would not be pressing her for anything more than this tonight. She let the tension she still held in her body release as she settled into his arms. Pulling her lips away from his, she studied him silently running her hands over the long stubble of his face. Her eyes moved appreciatively from his thick full lips to his bright, heated eyes. Looking back and forth between them, she whispered. "Your eyes are always greener when we kiss..." She ran the pad of her thumbs along the thick ridge of his cheekbones before tracing his brows. "With darker blues around the outer rings, and brighter yellows shooting out from the centers like starbursts..."

"Um... do they?" He murmured, captivated by her own mesmerizing gaze. He lifted his hand to stroke the outer edge of her jaw. "Only you would know."

She gave him a faint smile before her expression fell serious. "Arei, you should know... even before I got my memories back... I still had feelings for you... those weeks we spent in Florida were hard for me as well. The idea of crawling back into your arms then was nearly as strong as it is now... It was my own pride that prevented it then. I kept convincing myself that it would just end as it had before, especially when I had picked up on some of the inconsistencies in your story of our past." When he went to respond she pressed her index finger against his lips. "I understand it all now, I wouldn't be sitting here like this with you now if I didn't fully trust and believe all that you've said on the matter." She shook her head. "You could never be a rebound for me. I will admit, the thought of getting back to where we were and letting the warmth and protection of your arms wash away the horrible mess of the past year has run across my mind more than once, but it's not to use you as a way to forget my feelings for Russ. I will always love him, but even before Florida, I knew what he and I had was stolen time. It was nothing like what you and I had." She held his gaze, searching for any trace of the hidden emotions behind his beautiful eyes. "I'm IN love with you." She pressed her lips to his as her fingers laced into his hair. "It will only ever be you." She whispered against his lips.