"Ha ha ha, I'm laughing to death. Am I too cruel? Do you want to exaggerate? "
"Originally, I wanted to say that the competition just now was wonderful. I laughed at it."
"Oh, I can't do it. I have a stomachache when I laugh. I'm so funny..."
All the netizens and viewers were amused by the scene.
Who would have thought that Liu Zixia would design such a plot, and the nonsense he would say before each fight also made them confused.
But this scene is a bit exaggerated. One foot pollutes the whole hot spring pool. How bad is the foot odor?
Well, it's a delicious hot spring!
"Martial arts practitioners, it makes sense to soak your feet, right?"
Master Liu didn't know that the master had left and was still talking with his eyes closed.
After not getting a response, he found that there was no one around him.
Master Liu simply relaxed his whole body and tilted his head back.
When I lifted it up again, I was surprised to find that on the platform not far away, about two meters above the ground, there was a rolled scroll hanging.
Master Liu's face changed and he had a thoughtful expression. Then he put on his shoes and stepped on the small platform.
Just as he was thinking about taking down the scroll, servant Yang appeared again!
He was sweeping the floor with a broom in his hand, and he kept complaining about Master Liu, which was like a concubine who was not favored by the emperor.
Finally, the servant Yang didn't know what appeared behind Master Liu and said:
"My master's master said," let me stay here. You are the first one to come up in 18 years. It's good. You can go or not! Left foot, right foot... "
As the servant Yang said, he began to use the broom in his hand to pick up Master Liu's feet. Finally, he used the broom as a weapon to attack Master Liu.
"What's going on here? How can that sweeper be so powerful? "
"The counter attack came so suddenly that I couldn't take it."
"I think this guy is very powerful. Master Liu will suffer some losses this time..."
The netizens and the audience were all startled by this seemingly sloppy, or even down-to-earth sweeper.
At this time, the background music of the film is a change, from the bell chime to the two armies against the base, beat the drums.
Dong Dong
The rush of the drum is like beating in the heart. That kind of tense atmosphere, oppressive people are a little out of breath.
From the action of this guy, where is the novice who is harmless to people and animals? It's such a mess that the servant Yang seems to be the protagonist of the film.
And look at this guy's action, it seems fast but slow, every muscle seems to be exerting force, and that lazy attitude... Land use is obviously Taiji!
It turns out that those aunts and uncles in the park, practicing Tai Chi slowly, can still achieve this kind of attack effect. It's incredible.
On the high stage, two people came and went to fight for more than two minutes. The final picture is that two masters, one with Wuqinxi "Xionghuang" and the other with Taiji push hand, collide.
At this time, the picture turns over again, the martial arts scene disappears, and the picture returns to the front of the ancient "Huashan school" archway.
Master Liu, who closed his eyes, suddenly opened his eyes and walked towards the Huashan school.
The audience and netizens who watched the film were not happy. The martial arts contest was not finished and the winner was not divided. How could they go back to the beginning? Isn't it meant to be appetizing?
"Lying trough, what's the special situation?"
"That's right. Did Master Liu win, or did the sweeper win?"
"Protest, protest, and strongly demand that the following martial arts competition scenes be released..."
The audience and netizens who felt that they had been fooled went to the message area at the bottom of "offensive and defensive road" to leave a message. 80% of them left a protest speech.
Their curiosity in their throat can't be suppressed any more!
No matter what the audience and netizens think, the plot is still advancing.
The beat of the war drum disappeared and became the opera sound of singing with colorful faces and the intersection of swords and soldiers.
As the wind blows, the camera moves towards the archway.
All of a sudden, the picture went dark, and then several policemen in police uniform and appearance, with bruises on their faces, pushed Master Liu out of the archway.
Master Liu waved his hand and repeatedly apologized: "Hey, sorry, sorry, police, police uncle, sorry, sorry..."
Song Qingshan, the policeman, points to master Liu and says, "who's uncle? Call Comrade
"Police, I'm so sorry!" Master Liu bowed repeatedly: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
Song Qingshan didn't accept the apology at all. He said angrily, "now I know how to say I'm sorry. Didn't you act stubborn just now?"
Deng Kai, who was also wearing a police uniform and had some red cheeks, glared and said, "who was in Huashan just now? Who do you compare with, brother
Standing on the edge, Lin Yifeng, whose nose is swollen, said: "no, ah... Heaven and earth move, Lingbo walk?"
Master Liu sincerely held out two fingers and said to several policemen, "I really didn't see it. Behind Huashan sect, there is the word" going out of the station. "
The camera turns to the ancient stone archway, and the original "Huashan school" suddenly becomes "Huashan police station". In other words, the word "out of office" is always in the back, but it's just blocked by the big tree.
"Huashan school"... "Out of the Institute", poof, my old blood gushed out directly! "
"Hahaha, Huashan police station, I'm so skinny. How can I be so mischievous?"
"It's funny that these stars are visiting the police..."
Netizens and audiences are all surprised by the unexpected change.
Huashan police station, isn't this a spoof?
They thought that this "Huashan school" was specially created for the sake of film effect. The emotion is "Huashan police station". It seems that it should be shot in situ.
"Hey, I'm..."
Song Qingshan, Deng Kai and Lin Yifeng are all angry. They point their fingers at Master Liu and see that the drama of "education" is about to be staged.
At this time, has been behind them, low head, covering the eyes of a policeman, suddenly raised his head!
Oh, hey, guess what?
Acquaintance, it's Chen he!
Only one of his eyes has become black eyed, grinning to a few colleagues: "ah, civilized law enforcement!"
Good!
Netizens and the audience in the bottom of my heart together said a good!
Civilized law enforcement, law enforcement must be strict!
Where is this spoof? It's clearly promoting the positive image of our Chinese police!
……
It's been 20 minutes since the film came to this point.
Yesterday, the promotional videos released by five major media, such as Xuntang and CCTV 6, just cut out what Liu Zixia said in front, and the singing of "Chinese Kung Fu" also turned into pure guzheng playing.
In the accompaniment of classical Chinese musical instruments full of ancient charm, all the martial artists in this film wear white training clothes and begin to perform martial arts in the world of black and white ink.
In addition, a series of white letters also introduce the names of the martial arts they have practiced, as well as a few sentences summarizing the essentials of martial arts practice and the mood of martial arts morality.
When more than 4 minutes of the end of martial arts, netizens and the audience want a scene appeared!
The picture returns to the scene of Yang Fangchi's martial arts competition.
It's just that there is no servant Yang on the high platform, only a broom left on the edge, and master Liu who jumps up from the high platform and grabs the scroll hanging in the air with his right hand.
The scroll unfolded. I thought it would be some martial arts secret script, or martial arts morality, or yangqigong method. As a result, there were only three black characters in regular script: attack and defense!
It can be said that although the time of the film is very short, it is a complete plot, and can even be regarded as a model of propaganda film.
Originally, netizens and viewers were going to close the app, go to Weibo or Douban, and comment on it.
As a result, the picture turned, there are eggs!
In the back are several VCRs, including international tough guy Sylvester Stallone, Hollywood action superstar Jason stanson and world champion Tyson!
"Liu Zixia, this time you have escaped by luck. Next time, let me meet in the attack and defense road. I will teach you a lesson."
"You're lucky you didn't meet me. Be careful, I'll find you."
"I'm Tyson. You'd better be careful, Liu Zixia!"
These world-class foreign experts on the screen are challenging Liu Zixia one after another, and they are saying that Liu Zixia must be good-looking next time.
This can make the netizen and audience crazy, this also got?
You, a foreigner, at best, have learned some foreign martial arts, such as catching and fighting, action routines and so on. Do you still want to compete with our Chinese martial arts which have been handed down for thousands of years?
Joke!
"Damn, summer, dry. They, call them arrogant!"
"Yes, what we Chinese are most afraid of is provocation. Compare with them."
"Kung Fu superstar, world champion is great? We are not afraid of you... "
Just a "offensive and defensive road", not to mention watching the audience and netizens all blood boiling.
Just in this micro movie. The emergence of a few unique Chinese traditional culture, let them have a sense of pride as a Chinese!
When the dignity of Chinese people is challenged... Then, don't counselle, just face up!
This is not only Liu Zixia's business, but also the whole Chinese business!
The film ends with Jason stanson's last sentence, "I'll come to you soon."!
The unique prelude of the combination of traditional opera and pop music of "Chinese Kung Fu" starts, and the names of all the staff involved in the shooting of "attack and defense road" appear at the end of the film.
Screenwriter and director: Liu Zixia.
Deputy directors: Han Yi, Xu Ke.
Camaraderie: Chen he, Deng Kai, Lin Yifeng, song Qingshan, as a policeman.
Cast: Jiang Ziyi, Guan Xiaoshan, Lu zining
Editing group, props group, special effects group
Liu Zixia is very fair to everyone. Everyone who takes part in the film, even the little girl who plays on the board, is attached to the cast.
Until now, the movie "attack and defense" is over!