Chapter 277

It's not like getting sick or having a bad job. Every time I say that I don't want to take care of my own body and future, I can understand that the original family is terrible and I can't escape.

Don't test a person's humanity easily, because when you test others, you have a distrust mentality. Then why should others insist on your distrust.

After my mother went out to work, my mother gave me the living expenses. At that time, I felt that I had to repay my mother and sister when I came out to work. After graduation, I found a job with a fair salary. As a result, after renting a house and falling in love, my grandparents asked for money when they were ill and had to save money to buy a house. After getting married, my children spent money. The salary was far higher than that of the month when I just graduated.

Housing loans, children's expenses, sick elderly people at home. I feel like everything needs a lot of money. I feel powerless and under a lot of pressure. "

Life is always not perfect, there will be no real perfect, because people are always chasing what they do not have, these things drive people's life.

Pain always exists, but it is not the whole of life. People in each era face different situations and have their own pain. As a human society, it is not friendly to ordinary people.

What contributes to the society is labor production, but the distribution of social resources is not according to the amount of labor. People with capital can drive others to create value for their labor and squeeze value from others' labor. Capitalists earn people's value to consolidate their rule, and laborers give their flesh and blood to support the world that oppresses them severely.

The so-called good and evil is only the subjective consciousness of human beings. No one is really pure and noble. Good and evil are just people's choices. Goethe once said, "I have all evil thoughts, but I just didn't do them."

Human nature doesn't have to be tested, just as we judge the toughness of a glass, only when it is broken can we know its toughness. Will you break the cup to test its strength? So will human nature.

Most people, not saints or villains, are ordinary, between good and bad. Most importantly, the temptation and pressure that most people can bear are limited.

Every time we go out, after locking the door, we will subconsciously pull the door to see if it is locked. But no one will use the axe to hit the door, to confirm whether the door is solid.

Because we know that no matter how strong the door is, it may be difficult to stop the highly skilled burglars who intend to enter your home, but the burglar proof door can at least give basic protection to the family property, which is enough. You can't ask the standard of the family door to be the same as that of the bank vault door.

The test of human nature is to test the table with a sledgehammer and bombard the security door. This is not to test, but to destroy.

Those tests, which are based on testing whether the other person loves himself or not, live in fantasy, expecting the other person to be a saint without flaws. It is not beneficial to take the minimum probability event as an inevitable event in the prevention, except for causing damage to the relationship between oneself and the other party.

Tang Lan, a middle-aged woman, immediately said that she would introduce her partner to Feng Du. Feng Du immediately agreed. Feng Du told her about your requirements for the other half. He was very worried that the stepmother he found for the child would be bad to the child.

Tang Lan, a middle-aged woman, comforted him and reassured him. She knew a woman who didn't want to have a child. As long as she didn't have another child, it would not affect Feng Du's children, and she could continue to live. It's really hard to find a balance between children's happiness and their own happiness and get a win-win result.

Fang Tianxing saw Feng Du chatting with Tang Lan, a middle-aged woman, more and more happily. Finally, he exchanged telephone and social accounts with each other. When they got off the bus, they said they would make another appointment when they were free, so that Feng Du could meet the woman who introduced them to the same village. Fang Tianxing felt strange. He seemed to be a matchmaker for Feng Du.

However, Fang Tianxing is not angry. Feng Du has been single for such a long time. It's good to have a companion. After all, he's all his readers. At least, he doesn't want to be an outsider.

In addition to their own relatives, readers are their closest relatives.

When Feng Du came home, his child was still crying in the corner. He went over and patted his child on the shoulder and comforted him: "my child, it's dad who is not good and should not be angry with you."

Before, it was because the child wanted to learn football, which was totally different from Feng Du's expectation. He couldn't help beating the child. He felt very guilty and couldn't forgive himself.

More people have suffered verbal violence from their parents than we think. Those parents who will use language to hurt their children recklessly may be because they are still children themselves. Of course, this is not an excuse for these parents. Their "child" side shows that they are extremely immature emotionally.

What do parents look like when they are emotionally immature? If our parents are like this, what can we do for ourselves?

An emotionally immature parent may have the following behaviors, emphasizing the role of kinship and building self-esteem on the obedience of others.

Immature parents will say, "because I'm your parent, so I can... Because you're a child, so you have to..." they emphasize the subordinate part of the parent-child relationship, thinking that you have to follow their orders.

If you have any behavior that doesn't conform to their role setting, they may force you back to your position as a child through cold violence, intimidation, etc. This kind of inequality of identity is easy to bring language harm.

Children rarely express their emotions directly, but let them feel emotions through emotional infection. Infants and children will express their needs through emotional infection, and they make a lot of noise to attract the attention of caregivers.

When some immature parents are depressed, they are just like children, and they will express it in a way that makes other family members feel depressed.

For example, when they feel angry because of other things, they often do not tell their children what happened to them and the anger they feel, but they will project the anger on their children and scold or hurt them in words.

So children will feel that they have the responsibility to make their parents happy. But because parents do not try to face their own depression, but choose to escape, children actually have no way to solve their parents' problems.