16 Drank and Drugs*

"Boss, can you please not say it out loud like that? It's kinda embarrassing." Tyagi [????], one of the subordinates, pleaded to his boss.

"What's there to be embarrassed about? We did something that no other people could do! If you are to ask me, I feel like it's a cause for celebration. Don't you think so too?" Francis gave out a disgusting smile as he dangled a few notes before Tyagi.

"It's as you say, boss!" Tyagi jumped around, clearly showing off his intent to gobble it all by himself. However, he could see the glaring eyes behind, therefore he decided against it.

"Take it. And do whatever the fuck you guys do." Francis handed over the cash to Tyagi and walked off as if he's cool or something. Poor guy was didn't know that he wasn't cool.

However, one person did admire this uncool stride. "Thank you, boss!" Tyagi cheered.

"What a suck up!" Thankappan scoffed at the sight of Tyagi jumping around. Meanwhile, Vineeth took the money off the guy and distributed it. "Ooh, cash!" Thankappan jumped around the sight of money—similar to what Tyagi did.

"You don't even get the irony of your actions, don't you?" Kunjan sighed at Thankappan's actions.

"Whatever! I can buy—wait, what was I supposed to buy? Wait, why do I even need money?" He wondered. He genuinely had no idea what to do of this money.

"Well, didn't you get really jealous when Taro bought that phone of his?" Gibli planted an idea in Thankappan's mind.

"I kinda did. However, this won't be enough to buy one for myself. Therefore, if I wanted to buy one, I could've done it with my MIB salary." Thankappan replied.

"Hmm, then do what you do with your MIB salary?" Kunjan decided to ask him.

"Save it?" He answered.

"Shoot. Besides, if you're gonna save it anyway, save it for Taro then. We were supposed to do that anyway!" Kunjan suggested as he glanced over Taro, who stood silent for the entire moment.

"Of course! I forgot about that!" Thankappan spoke out.

"I still don't know how you're an MIB agent." Kunjan sighed.

Amidst this heated conversation, Vineeth came up to them. "Hey, guys! We're having a party—if you wanna call it one. Well, we're just gonna have a couple of drinks. You wanna come?" He asked.

"Ooh, drinks! Let's go!" Thankappan readily agreed to that idea.

"Don't you think Lonappan will be worried about us?" Taro, dragged them to the side and asked.

Thankappan looked baffled. "Him? Worried about us? Nah. He just doesn't care." He replied.

"I'm fine either way." Kunjan replied as if he didn't care.

"Me too, I guess?" Gibli joined in as well.

"See, majority vote decides! Therefore, I win!" Thankappan screamed excitedly as he turned to Vineeth. "We'll come, Vineeth." He said to Vineeth, patiently waiting for their reply.

"Cool, get in then." He pointed to the jeep parked next to them.

"Ooh, you got a jeep! Let's go!" Thankappan hurriedly jumped in.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Kunjan sensed the danger, although he ain't no psychic.

"Nah, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine." Thankappan managed to place a red flag as he got in.

#

"Where the heck are we?" Taro asked whilst looking around.

"I don't know, man. Let's ask Vineeth." Gibli replied.

"Sure." Taro nodded.

"Vineeth, where exactly are we supposed to be going?" Gibli asked.

"Well, we're going to the paddy farmers' motor shed. That's where our stock is." He replied.

"Why is it there?" Kunjan, who remained silent during the whole journey, spoke.

"It's because the police rarely checks it out there." Vineeth replied, smiling.

"Wait, police? Are drinks illegal?" Thankappan asked.

"Not really. Although, we aren't really supposed to drink in the open and then drive later, are we?" Vineeth asked.

"Yea, why would you do that?" Kunjan looked at Vineeth with his expressionless eyes, which made Vineeth a bit nervous.

"I don't know. It's fun to drink with friends, I guess?" He gave out a nervous chuckle.

"Then why not do it in your home?" Kunjan asked.

"It's not exactly nice to drink in front of your wife and child now, is it?" Vineeth countered with his valid argument.

"Why not in someone else's home? Like some bachelors in here." Kunjan attacked with his new argument.

"Well, we fear that we might be a nuisance for the people around." Vineeth defended his argument yet again.

"Won't you be a nuisance if you drink and drive?" Kunjan sharpened his questionnaire.

Vineeth started sweating profusely. "Man, you ask a lot of questions. Oh, we've reached the destination. Finally!" He jumped out of the jeep as soon as it stopped.

As Vineeth walked towards the motor shed, Tyagi pushed him aside and took the lead. "Hello, Maniyan-chetta. You got our stuff?" He asked.

"Yea! If you want, we've recently got some of this too." Maniyan, the motor operator, answered as he slyly passed a bag to tyagi.

"Damn, that's some good stuff. Since when did you became a seller?" Tyagi asked.

"Well, I bought it for myself. However, I thought it would be nice to give it to a fellow brother." Maniyan replied, patting the shoulder of the sacrifice—Tyagi.

"That's cool of you. How much is it?" He asked, feeling slightly emotional.

"No, no! I don't need anything. It's for a brother—how could I ask for money?" Maniyan continued making Tyagi emotional.

"Don't say that. Keep this." He slipped a few notes in Maniyan's pocket.

"Nah, take it back. You know what? I'll ask something when I'm in need." Maniyan replied, as he gave the cash back.

"That's fine too." Tyagi spoke. "Okay then, see you. If you want some of it, I'll be by the bridge." He said as he waved goodbye.

"Yea, see you!" Maniyan enthusiastically waved back as they faded to the dark. He took his phone and dialed a number. "Sir, I've done what you ask of me."

#

"Wait, where are we going now?" Kunjan was confused. Vineeth did say that they reached the destination and yet they were moving.

"We're going to lie low. We do this kinda stuff under the bridge." Vineeth smiled, pretty satisfied about his barely qualified pun.

"Damn, you meant it in a literal sense, huh?" Kunjan looked disgusted.

"I guess? Well, we're here. Hop out." Vineeth hopped out yet again. However, yet again, he was stopped and over-shadowed by the tyagi. "You guys sit somewhere around. I'll prepare a few rounds." Vineeth replied as he walked off. He clearly wasn't fazed by the tyagi's actions.

"Wait, what are we having for drinks?" Thankappan asked Vineeth, stopping him in his track.

"Well, we were thinking more like beer and maybe a bit of vodka." He replied.

"Huh?" Thankappan looked confused.

"What?" Vineeth gave out a confused look as well.

"That—that sounds alcoholic." Thankappan looked around, got close and whispered.

"Huh?" Now, Vineeth looked genuinely confused.

Upon hearing Thankappan's reply, Kunjan dragged him aside. "Wait, you came here not knowing that they meant alcoholic drinks and not normal drinks? What are you, a cheesy innocent MC of some drama?" He asked.

"Guy, I really didn't know! I didn't get to drink alcohol while in the dungeon, so I didn't expect it." Thankappan shrugged.

"Well, now you know it. Wanna scoot?" Kunjan gave out a suggestion.

However, Thankappan looked determined. "No. I wanted to experience drinking it at least once."

"If that's your choice, so be it." Kunjan decided to stand by the special agent's decision. He was supposed to be their overseer, after all.

#

"Damn, I never would've thought this guy would be an alcohol-virgin." Tyagi laughed, taking the lead of the troop for some reason.

"You see, I never got the time to try it." Thankappan looked embarrassed as he replied.

"Call it luck then. You got the time now." Vineeth interjected the conversation before Tyagi could. He seemed pissed off then.

"Yea, get me a shot." Thankappan asked for a drink.

"I'll start it weak. How about a beer?" He was about to pour the beer in the mug, but was stopped by Thankappan.

"Nah, if we're to begin something, I'd rather prefer it if we began it with a bang." Thankappan answered.

"Okay, we don't have the much stronger stuff, however, we got vodka. Is that enough?" Vineeth asked as he placed the beer bottle down.

"Vodka it is!" Thankappan shouted. Vineeth handed the drink to him. "Here we go!" Thankappan took a deep breath and drank it in one-shot. Since he was a beginner, he didn't last long.

"Yup, looks like he's done for the night." Vineeth chuckled as he saw Thankappan wriggling around.

"I want mooooooooore!" Thankappan screamed.

"It seems so." Gibli agreed with Vineeth's analysis.

"How come you're unaffected?" Tyagi asked, as he glanced over towards the three aliens who looked just the same after drinking three or so shots.

"Experience?" Kunjan replied.

"I guess it goes all three of you." Tyagi chuckled.

"Of course! We don't usually go down with just this." Gibli replied this time instead.

"Oh, you can go stronger!" Tyagi gave out a sly smile.

"Yup!" Gibli nodded his head.

"Then how about this?" Tyagi whipped out a bag.

Gibli took the bag and opened it. "What's this? A cookie?" He asked.

"A special kind, if you ask me." Tyagi smile as he took out the cookies from the bag and distributed it to the ones around, including the wriggling Thankappan.

"Alcohol and cookies are quite a unique combination." Gibli gave out his opinion.

"Try it. You'll like it!" Tyagi assured.

"Okay." Gibli was intrigued.

"Let's do it together on three." Tyagi said.

"One, two and three." The entire circle ate the cookie.

It didn't took much time for them to witness the cookie's marvel. "Fuck. What's going on?" Gibli was confused over all the fluttering images before him.

Meanwhile, Taro, who stayed silent over the entire time, except for occasional whispering, jumped up and shouted. "WOW. I CAN FEEL IT. I REALLY AM AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD!" He shouted these in Wadorian, which no one other than the three understood.

"Hey, can you hear what Sadanandan's saying?" Vineeth asked around.

"Oh, cool! It seems like we're having the same hallucination!" Tyagi high fived Vineeth.

Suddenly, Vineeth looked startled. "Hey, can you hear it?" He asked around yet again.

"I already told you; I can hear the gibberish too." Tyagi replied.

"Not that; the sirens." He asked.

"Might be some kind of hallucination too." Tyagi replied.

"Cool!" Vineeth decided to believe that without retorting, because he couldn't care less. However, Vineeth suddenly got the chills when he actually saw a few police officers this time. "Hey, guys. I don't think it is a hallucination. Can't you see the police?"

"Meh, that's a hallucination too." Tyagi assured.

"Unfortunately for you, it's not." The police officer grabbed Tyagi's shoulder.

"Hey, the hallucination says it's not a hallucination." Vineeth shouted at Tyagi.

"Well, maybe it's not a hallucination, after all. Although, we could be the hallucination too. Who knows?" Tyagi was on a trance at that moment.

Meanwhile, Vineeth decided to check if it's real and punched the officer, just to get punched back in ten folds. "Wait, guys. I think this is real! What should we do?" Vineeth started panicking.

Tyagi stood silent for a few seconds. "Well, fuck me then." He replied as the police dragged him and the entire circle into the police station.

#

*This is not a typo. For some reason, I decided to pay a homage to my favorite Dutch song "Drank and Drugs", by Lil Kleine and Ronnie Flex, which might also be recognized as the unofficial Dutch national anthem by some.

[????] His name literally means sacrifice or someone who sacrifices (if we are to be specific) in both Malayalam and Hindi.