Chapter 74: Juan's backstory: Mother

Juan Printo. He's a brilliant kid, everyone said. He doesn't have to do any effort to achieve literally anything, they said. Natural born talent. A perfect specimen. Everyone called me by different names. Neither confirmed nor denied such bold claims, because I ended up being unsure about why I'm doing the things that I did.

Born into the Printo "family", my father is a foreign businessman and my mother was a housewife. So, I didn't get to see my father a lot. Back then, mom told me that dad was a big deal in the foreign lands and told me some bizarre tales about how he beat a dragon or some shit like that. Since I was a little kid at that time, I easily believed her lies. I missed the old geezer. With each passing moment, I wanted to meet him. I wanted him to tell the tales of the foreign lands, about how he did all those things that mom talked about. However, when I asked my mom about his arrival, mom always told me that it will take time because dad is going through a great adventure. And so I believed. Like, he seemed to be saving the world, if mother's words were to consider. How could I bring such a great person, just because I wish to see him?

I don't know how it started. Maybe it was because I was kinda ashamed that I was such a great person's son and yet I had nothing special about me… or it was my enthusiasm to show him my new skills when he eventually returns, I started taking up new activities. Like sports, academics, you name it. I aced it all. Although, people were seriously impressed with me, I didn't consider it a big deal because I'm such a great guy's son; I had to at least do this. Mind it, I was a little kid and I still believed every word that mom said.

Then suddenly, mom revealed that dad's gonna come soon. I was super excited. I was like a super fan who's genuinely excited about meeting their idol. I started building up this great image about him; how his eyes would be filled with hope and how he will have a cheerful personality like every heroic character in story books.

However, reality was often disappointing. My image of my dad shattered in a day. All these years of build up, crumbled within a day. And I had no one to blame other than myself. I preferred to believe the words that my mother said. However, I should've considered it as Santa Claus, a convenient lie to get a kid's hopes up.

The father I met didn't have eyes filled with hope. Rather, those eyes looked tired and it was filled with despair; as if he was in the unending stream of pain. He wasn't cheerful; he was depressed. He looked like a man who had to do things that he didn't want to, but had to.

I noticed it, however initially I thought that he was just tired from the adventure he had. Thus, I decided to not ask him his side of the adventures.Rather, I told mine. I told how I picked up soccer and I excelled in it and how I'm studying third grader's curriculum. While I said those things to him, I caught a glance of his eyes. I will never forget the look that he had. It was a look of disinterest. The man looked as if he didn't care whatever I did. He treated me as if I wasn't his child. A child who hoped for a cool father, got a cold father instead.

Honestly, if he said something along the lines of it not being enough, I wouldn't have been so hurt, since that would at least mean that he cares about me and what I do. Instead, he just totally ignored me and all my efforts. It was as if he didn't care what I did as long as I breathed. I still don't know why he had a kid if he wanted to ignore me like that.

Anyhow, my outlook towards my dad seriously changed that day. I hated him. Especially because he had a fight with my mother after I "went to sleep". They didn't know I was still awake and heard their entire fight. Father having a fight with mom, who did good by me, made me hate him even more. I couldn't hear what the fight was about, however I knew dad was the reason for it.

The old geezer left the home next day without even saying goodbye to me. Which honestly made me relieved, because I didn't wanna meet him ever again. I had my mother who stayed by my side. I could rely on her no matter what happens. I hoped that she would stay by my side forever like that.

It was as if God himself cursed me for having such a wish, because my hope was broken soon enough. Five months after the geezer left for the foreign lands, I saw a letter on my desk when I woke up. It was my mother. She said how she could no longer live as my father's wife and that the old geezer didn't give her the love she deserved. So, she decided to elope with the one that actually gave her the love that she deserved. In the end, she begged for forgiveness. Upon reading that letter, tears flowed from my eyes, because this was the biggest betrayal that I ever had to face. Like, I understood what she meant to some extent, but I always thought why couldn't she take me with her? Why leave me alone like this? However, nothing more than her selfish desires to pursue lust than motherly love came to mind.

While I continued hating father, after that event, mother topped the list. Her gall to leave a five year old kid alone in a house was admirable to the extent that I would like to give a slap across her face if I am to meet her again. However, I vowed that I would rather die than meet the person who sweet talked and then ditched me. At least, dad ditched me without any pretense. He never showered me with love and then ditched me like she did.

Anyway, with that I started living alone. No one came to check me out until my uncle and aunt did after a month or two after my mother's departure. They invited me back to their residence, to which I complied because I thought that would be better than staying alone.

That's when I learned that my aunt is a complete psycho who mentally abuses her child. When she tried doing the same to me, I called up dad and told him that I would rather live alone. Thankfully, since that geezer didn't care about me,he actually allowed me, a five year old to live alone. However, to show that he wasn't that much of an inconsiderate monster, he sent me a butler as well. Although the butler existed and asked me to order him for things, I thought of doing it myself.

Somewhere along the lines, I kinda understood what people meant by calling me a brilliant kid and stuff. So, I decided to act arrogant about it. I continued excelling in every field. Even though the geezer didn't care about anything else, he seemed to care about my marks when I entered school. So, every other time, I showed him my report card and since he was satisfied with my marks, I was given a free pass. So, I started to act out the way I want. Arrogant, haughty bastard chasing around women. Since no one dared to stop me because I showed incredible results in whatever I did, I thought of continuing on that path.

Meanwhile, I learned that the old geezer married someone else abroad and they had a boy together. Not that I cared about him, however I seriously wished that the child doesn't have to go through what I went through. Although I met the geezer several times, he never talked about having a new family, so I never asked. If he wanted to keep it as a secret, might as well.

Everyone likes me. Everyone will continue liking me no matter what I did; that was my thought process after I did every shit that I did. Then I noticed it; they don't like me, they just tolerate me. They didn't want to get tangled with me. I thought I was fine with that. Like, I have already experienced loneliness. So, I was fine with that… I wanted to be fine with that. However, I wasn't. I knew that this is a hole that I dug up… this distance between me and the people around me. But, in some corner of my heart, I hoped that someone would jump over that hurdle and get to me. No one did, until one day a person dared to do that.

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