Chapter 85: Guide to living on Earth 1

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I'm Normal-Taro. People call me Taro for short. Oh, the Earthlings call me Sadanandan. Yes, I'm an alien. You see, I don't know how I reached this bizarre planet. One day, I was drinking alcohol with my best friend back on my home planet and the next, I was here on this planet. Not that I was particularly unhappy about this development. If there is anything that I regret, it's that I couldn't inform my best friend that I'm doing fine, and he doesn't have to worry about me. We've been through everything together, so starting a new life on this planet without informing Park was one of the things I deeply regret. I wonder what he's doing right now… Does he remember me? Is he still chasing around that bitc… the Galaxy's hope, Emilia, hoping to ask her out someday, an obviously impossible task? Who knows? Whatever it was, I hope he is happy living his life out there.

So, I've been here for quite a few while now. Earth is pretty normal contrary to what I believed. I was initially freaked out by their costumes, however I can see their charm now. I got to wear a blazer recently. It looks hella fine on me. Anyway, Lonappan, your MIB caretaker, asked me to write my experience during my stay here on Earth. So, you're kinda like my junior, aren't you? Ah, by the time you read this, I most probably would've left this planet. However, you can always ask for me if you ever arrive in Wados.

Anyhow, Lonappan asked for this a long time ago, however I never knew what format I should write this in. So, a long time passed with me trying to think of a writing style that would appeal to a fellow alien like myself. That's when I read a novel about a little girl writing about her experiences during some war on this planet in a diary format. Surprisingly, I could see it from her point of view. Therefore, I thought of writing that way as well.

However, once I started writing, I realized that I wasn't much of a writer and that I can't describe my experiences with words… I might just bore you. Like, I can talk about it to you as long as you want, however my writing abilities are a bit on the weaker side. But, I had promised Lonappan and co that I will write something, so rather than writing every day, I might come out on some random days and write everything that I basically remember from the last time I entered something into this book. Anyway, since this is the first entry, I'll start from the very beginning.

I'm gonna skip my life before Earth, because that's worthless information. All I'll say is that I'm a Wadorian who doesn't have an attribute of his own. Bit weird, isn't it? I'm kinda weird… But, I've heard that people who say that they're weird aren't actually weird, but they're the ones hoping that they're weird. In that prospect, I'm not weird, right?

Anyway… Although I didn't have an attribute, once I arrived at this planet, I noticed that the people here didn't have an attribute as well. I was kinda ecstatic, however when I learned that I just became a being with monstrous strength due to the gravity of the planet or something, the excitement quickly died down. So, as a fellow alien, I'm gonna tell you something. Don't exert your power on this planet if you're included in one of these three categories- Wadorian, Martial planet resident, basically any planet with a stronger gravitational pull. Because if you do exert your strength, the people will treat you as a monster. However, I don't think this point will help you because you'll only read this book after reaching the Holy Land… And by that time, if you're like me, you'll screw things up. So, if you haven't screwed up yet but are curious about exerting your strength or just have this itch to fight, better listen to what I have to say.

So, if you're from the Wu Long planet, then you're fine to use your planet's backhand techniques since that one is basically low risk, high reward kinda martial arts. Sure, you can't use your power, however you can ask for a spar with one of the caretaker agents… Well, ask for the guy named Thankappan. He kinda dissed the backhand technique, so you better beat him clean with it!

The Wu Long planet guys who have no interest in learning other martial arts can skip this part. Anyway, for the rest, let me introduce you to a martial art named Karate, which I originally thought was Kung-fu. It's pretty practical and fun to do. It prioritizes attack and defense alike, however defending has its own charm as well. So, if you're interested in battling it out on a Karate dojo, I have left the business card of the dojo I went. The master there is chill and will teach Karate pretty well. However, I'm gonna give a warning to you. Never ask about me when you're before him. Due to certain circumstances, he believes that I'm dead, and I would like for it to remain that way.

So, you don't want to do random fights, instead you need a chance to test out your strength, huh? Oh, and it would be great if you had a job rather than leeching on the MIB "pocket money", huh? Well, why not both? Let me introduce you to the construction workers industry. Okay, I know that construction workers are common on every planet, but you're the one who said you want an outlet to use up your strength and earn money. There's just this profession that I can think of. If I learn of something else, I will inform you later. Anyway, if you're interested in working in this industry, ask Lonappan to let you meet a guy named Pranchiyettan. He will take you in easily, as long as you follow his orders precisely. He doesn't even care about your origin. However, you need to be careful when your coworkers call you out for a party or something because they're probably asking for you to come to their party, which might involve in taking of marijuana, a hallucinogen. Don't take it because it's unhealthy and there's a chance that you might be caught by the police. Then, your caretakers will have a hard time releasing you. Oh, and by the way, if you haven't been informed already, Earthlings don't know about the existence of aliens, so keep it a secret until the corrupt world leaders sell out this planet to Glomerans. Oh yea, that's a thing that's gonna happen in the years to come. I hope you're able to escape this planet before that happens… Hell, I hope I'll be able to do so before that happens.

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What were we talking about? Yea, jobs! So, if you don't like exerting your strength but would like to work because your pride wouldn't allow you to walk around doing nothing, there's always a teacher slot open in the school near you, The Heavenly Flame school. You just gotta make a fake resume with all your fake degrees that will become a reality with the MIB's help, don't worry about that. Decent pay with a chance to teach kids, isn't that great?

However, you can't do it if your translator is shitty, which happened in my case. In such situations where the MIB can't provide a new one, and you're stuck with a malfunctioned version, head to "Ajish spare parts" and make an order for one translator. Don't worry, it isn't technically illegal as it is affiliated with MIB: Sneehatheeram. And if you're that confident about your translator making abilities like I am, ask if you could build one, and they'll allow you to do so. However, don't forget about the magnite coil though, or you're screwed.

Anyway, that basically kinda sums up my current adventures on Earth. I skimmed out many parts because I believe these are the basics that you should know and also I simply don't wanna write any longer. Oh, it feels like you're asking me for more… Since you're asking so kindly, I'll tell you a few more things. Don't go to a shopping mall, especially Koma mall, until you get familiar with this place and your expenses. I made a rookie mistake and screwed up there. I hope this helps you. And by the way, there's a paradise in Thrissur center which serves Arabian food, so check it out if you want. Another thing, I guess you might have met up with Ponnappan. He might look like a haughty idiot, however, he's kinda nice and really helpful. So, treat him well, I guess? Hell, treat everyone in MIB well; they're nice guys.

Okay, then. I'm gonna wrap it here. I hope you're enlightened to the slightest, at least. Anyway, I'm gonna tell you one thing. I treasure this place like my home planet. It's the place that gave me a family, so how can I even hate it? So, I hope that you might find happiness on this planet like I did. Good luck.

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