Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Three years…

After three years, Philia should return, and McCain…

In the future that I know, McCain no longer existed. Then, now would be the last time I’d see him.

‘Should I tell him now?’

I kept thinking. Maybe Philia would come back. But what if it’s too different from the original at this point? What if she wouldn’t come back? On the other hand, what if McCain would die, just as it’s said in the original story? My heart continued to be troubled by these thoughts. One word could prevent the deaths of people I knew, but I couldn’t just tell them not to go for no reason. It made me frustrated at myself for not being able to do this either.

‘Will Philia be back?’

Yes. Philia will be back. Philia, was the female lead of this novel. Even if she doesn’t get along with Bleon, she will live her own life and find her another love wonderfully. Philia will definitely come back.

‘Then the problem is McCain…’

Some time had passed while I was contemplating what to do. Bleon might return to the bedroom and look for me, so I hurriedly turned to return to the bedroom. But McCain was standing at the entrance to the garden, looking at me.

“…….”

“…….”

A cool, cool night breeze blew by quietly. We looked at each other for a while, not even thinking to close the gap, and didn’t say anything. I was worried because I didn’t know what to say when he suddenly appeared, and he…

“Are… Are you leaving early tomorrow?”

But after a while, what came out of my mouth was this question. Even when I thought about it, it was too ridiculous of a question to come out. I tried to avoid the inevitable embarrassment and awkwardness, but as though he had been waiting for the signal, I heard an answer from him.

“Yes. I’m leaving.”

I made eye contact with him again.

“Have a safe trip.”

In the end, I had no choice but to tell him that.

“Is that all you have to say to me?”

“Yes?”

McCain let out a deep sigh. I wasn’t clueless, so I knew and noticed what kind of gaze he was looking at me with a year ago. So I had to think carefully and say what I had to say, because I didn’t know what he wanted to hear from me and what it might mean to him.

“Please take care of yourself. Then, I will get going.”

But again, I didn’t say what I wanted to say. As I was about to pass McCain to leave the garden with those words, his next words made me stop in my tracks.

“I will definitely come back alive.”

“…….”

“I will definitely return to this place, here where you are, Madam.”

In fact, he said what I wanted to say to him the most first. Even though I wanted to tell him that I hope he would come back alive, and that I would like him to live a long life rather than to die as a war hero, my mouth did not open.

I didn’t have feelings for him as someone of the opposite gender, but he had been with me for a year in the duke’s house as someone who helped me in many ways. Even so, I did not want to give him vain hope by saying such a thing to him, so I held it in.

But then again, if my words would give him the strength to come back alive, I wanted to say something, honestly. Fortunately, he spoke up first, so I thought I could talk more comfortably now.

“Yes. Please come back alive and continue to serve as the commander of the Einer Duchy’s knights.”

At my words, McCain put on a slightly disappointed expression. But this was the best I could say to him.

“…Yes.”

I passed by him and soon exited the garden. Then, I hurried back to the bedroom. I thought that Bleon might be there, and again, when I entered the bedroom, Bleon was standing by the window.

“Bleon?”

When I called, he turned his gaze to the window and fixed it on me.

“You’re here first.”

“Where have you been…?”

“The temperature’s cool today, so I went around the garden for a bit.”

“Yes…”

His voice was low. He must have been standing by the window since a while ago, so he must have seen McCain and I together.

“I crossed paths with Sir McCain Holster briefly in the garden, and told him to take care of himself.”

I didn’t want Bleon to misunderstand when he saw the two of us, so I told the truth.

“You just said that…?”

“Of course. Then what else can I say?”

“Ha…”

Bleon let out a small sigh, and then I noticed that his stiff expression softened a little. Bleon has been constantly wary of McCain. Every time McCain looked at me strangely, Bleon was so conscious of him and doubled down on him that he warned him openly.

Approaching Bleon, who must have been anxious the whole time he came out of the window and saw McCain, I hugged him.

“Did you see?”

“…Yes.”

“Are you nervous?”

“…Yes.”

“You don’t trust me that much?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Wife, it’s that I don’t trust the knight commander. He still has, for you… Haa…”

Bleon let out another sigh, not sure if he could speak any more.

“But I don’t see him as a man at all. Only you, Bleon…”

I was embarrassed to say that I only look at him as a man compared to other people, so I trailed off.

“What am I…?”

“You know…”

“I want to hear from you, Wife.”

His eyes were staring at me tenaciously, knowing what I was saying, and wanting to hear it. I was too embarrassed to even look at him, so I buried my face in his arms. Then Bleon whispered softly in my ear.

“Hurry up, Wife…”

“I…”

“…….”

“I like you…”

I mumbled in a voice that was barely audible to him. At that moment, Bleon’s body moved slightly, and he cradled my face and poured his kisses on me.

“Mmh…”

As soon as his lips touched, his tongue invaded the inside, the delicate skin in my mouth, the sensitive roof of my mouth, and every gum and every tooth, and even the hidden part under my tongue, he rushed in like a man who was about to die if he didn’t touch me. It was a kiss like a storm that held my breath and made my mind wander with just a kiss.

“Haa…”

Bleon continued to kiss my lips as I barely breathed in. Still, breathing easier than before and my excitement subsided, so I slowly opened my eyes and looked at Bleon. When my eyes met the eyes like the dark sea, he was smiling the happiest in the world. When I saw that, my heart, which had already been pounding, began to beat even faster.

“I love you, Astell.”

And at his sincere confession, the quiet surroundings stopped altogether. I felt as if everything had disappeared, leaving him and me alone. Just the fact that he was by my side faded away the guilt I had felt while sending others to the battlefield.

Yes. It doesn’t matter. If only you were by my side, if I could be with you like this forever, I could do more. All I need is you, only you, you are the only one for me. Only you acknowledge me and make me alive. Without you, I have no reason to live. So… don’t let go of me. Even if I ever leave you, hold on to me. Please…

I couldn’t live without him anymore. I didn’t want to live. The happiness of being with him in his arms was too great to let go. The countless thoughts I had for the sake of Bleon when I first came here were overshadowed, and now I can’t hand him over to Philia or anyone else.

I will make you happy. So don’t leave me.

The thoughts that popped into my head right now were so mixed up that I couldn’t tell if they were really Astell’s or mine. However, only one thing was clear.

I love him. So now I realized I couldn’t be without Bleon.

“I love you. I love you, Bleon.”

But our happiness did not last long.

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