Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Bleon slowly removed his hand from my body, showing a deep regret. I immediately turned to look at him and spoke.

“We’re going to start the treatment tomorrow, but if Bleon continues to be like this, treatment will be difficult…”

“I don’t want anyone other than my wife to touch my body…”

“Isn’t it better to treat you quickly and become healthy? Philia is a good doctor. If you trust her and follow her, you’ll be healed in no time.”

“But…”

I knew what Bleon was trying to say. That’s why I said it on purpose in the first place.

“When I told you before that if you look at other women, I will kill you and kill myself too… Do you remember that?”

“…Yes… But you said that was for me…”

“No, Bleon. I was out of my mind back then. I really don’t know why I was so obsessed with you. Bleon said that my heart hurts too, so I guess it really is. Now I’m going to get treatment too. It will never happen in the future. Don’t take what I said in the past to heart anymore.”

I chose my words carefully, making sure that they didn’t sound forceful and so that he would understand.

“And now I want Bleon to meet other people and interact with them. I’m really sorry. I ruined an important period in your life because of my greed.”

From now on, he had to live a proper life. He was still young enough to do that. So I hoped he would live like other nobles from now on. Bleon didn’t say anything and looked at me. That’s an expression I had already seen many times. He looked at me with a look on his face like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

“I promised to protect you, but instead of protecting you, I ruined it even more. I only thought of my pain and used you to protect myself from that. If I could turn back time, if I could, I would like to turn it back. Before I met you… I wish I could… alright?”

“It’s not alright.”

Bleon said in a rare, firm voice.

“Don’t say that. Do you regret it then, Wife? Did you regret marrying me?”

“No…! I have no regrets…! But I… I regret making you like this.”

I tried to convince Bleon, but it seemed to hurt him more.

“I was a little nervous, but I was right… All of a sudden my wife changed and I believed I shouldn’t have been nervous… You’re going to throw me away. Because you hate me, I’m annoying, I’m not good enough and you want to throw me away…”

“No. It’s not like that. Bleon…!”

“Then why are you doing this…? I said I like it this way…”

“We’re both sick. This is what we have to do to heal the sick. We’re trying to move forward.”

“…I’m anxious… I’m scared that I’ll go crazy with this anxiety… I think that my wife will abandon me and one day go far away…”

It was strange no matter how I thought about it. Bleon did not accept my change for the better, but was extremely anxious about it while resisting as much as he could.

“No. I will never do that.”

Anyway, I had no intention of leaving Bleon in this state. I had to go and get him right, even if I had to go later so that I wouldn’t die somehow.

“Bleon. Do you trust me? Believe what I say and do what I say. Don’t be anxious. From now on, only better days will come.”

“Then please let me know…”

“Let you know?”

“Please let me hug you… I want to hug you… I want to know that I am loved by my wife…”

“Huh?”

That’s a bit difficult…

‘What should I do?’

I was wondering what to do to overcome this situation.

“You liked it. I like it too. I want to spend the whole day without thinking about anything but my wife like before… I really want to live like that for the rest of my life…”

Bleon said that and came to me. Looking at his condition, it seemed that he was already ready, and as if he had accepted the silence as a sign of permission, I could not escape, burying his face between my shoulder and neck and licking it with his lips and tongue.

“Heuk…”

At the slightest touch, my back heated up, and a quiet moan came out of my lips. And as a signal, Bleon hugged me and started to caress my body in earnest.

Contrary to his usual hesitant appearance, his gestures were quite aggressive. Knowing that Astell’s back was sensitive, Bleon gently stroked my back along the spine, and I closed my eyes tightly at the dizzying sensation.

Then, after brushing his lips on my neck, which he had been doing for a while, Bleon looked up and leaned in to kiss me. Then I realized what he was doing and grabbed his face with both hands to prevent him from doing so.

“Stop.”

It would have been a big mess. I managed to get my mind out of the gutter. Bleon looked at me with a puzzled expression at my sudden rejection, but I quickly analyzed in my head why he was doing this.

Bleon wanted to live the same as before rather than change for the better. As before, he wanted to live in our own lone castle just for the two of us, looking only at each other and coveting each other. But I already knew through the novel. This was just because Astell had thoroughly conditioned Bleon—it wasn’t truly his own desires.

Because he’s addicted to drugs, his body would move and he would try to confirm love with that body. Already, Bleon had not been able to think properly. However, if I accepted him like that, he could have ruined my efforts and the future plans that I had in store for the change that I want. As I pondered what to do, I stopped him.

“Bleon. This isn’t right. Stay away from me.”

This was never good for me or him. So in the future, I had to tell him firmly that this method would never work on me anymore. Bleon flinched as I spoke firmly, and he peeled himself away from my body, with a look of immense pain as if he had felt utterly rejected.

“If I did something wrong, please tell me. I’ll fix it… So don’t be mad… Wife…”

As my voice suddenly grew cold, Bleon showed his weakness again and bowed his head. It was too hard for me to do this, and my heart was getting soft. So I raised my hand and stroked his head gently.

“You did nothing wrong. I said it’s all my fault. And now I’m trying to fix that.”

At my words, Bleon lifted his head slightly and looked at me. But he was so upset and sad that tears were dripping down to the extent that his pretty face was covered.

“No. Wife did nothing wrong… I, I was wrong…”

And even though he did nothing wrong, he was begging for forgiveness.

“What am I going to do with you…”

I got up and hugged him. He and I were quite different in height, so I held him as he was sitting and his head was on my chest. As I grabbed Bleon, he put his hand behind my back and hugged me so desperately as if he could never separate from me. It hurt my heart to see Bleon crying out to express the anguish he was feeling in his heart.

He was still like a child. After his parents’ sudden death, he stopped growing. Although his body was an adult, it seemed that his mental growth had stopped at the age of ten.

‘I’ll set it all straight. I really want to see you happy.’

After his parents passed away, the only person in the world a wounded child could depend on was Astell, who reached out to him.

Bleon was blind to Astell. But that wasn’t to say that Bleon’s feelings for Astell were love.

This lust was only due to a weakness, and there was no way that it could have come from Bleon’s heart.

And unlike Astell, I thought that this wasn’t the kind of love between a man and a woman at all. Bleon was too young to feel that way. I felt great compassion and sympathy for him from one person to another.

“Now, when the treatment is really over, don’t look at me and do what you want to do. I won’t say anything hurtful to you anymore just because you did that. So, let’s work hard on treatment starting tomorrow. Understand?”

Bleon nodded his head slightly as he hugged me at my words.

“Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

I apologized to him again. On behalf of Astell’s soul, which was no longer here.

The next day, Philia came back. I greeted her with Bleon in the bedroom.

“Greetings to the Duke and Duchess of Einer.”

“Welcome.”

“Then I will start the treatment. Duke, please take off your shirt and lie back on the bed.”

‘I think I should go out…’

When Philia asked him to take his clothes off, I was in a dilemma as to whether I should stay here or not. If I stayed, I would be in the way, and it seemed that the relationship between the two of them wouldn’t progress through the treatment.

I looked at Bleon for a while thinking about what to do, but he was also staring back at me with a clueless expression. I nodded my head slightly, telling Bleon to obey Philia.

But even though I had already explained to Bleon yesterday how the treatment would proceed, he was still stiff and frozen. I smiled slightly and continued to look at him with a relaxed expression.

Then, Bleon made an unwilling expression and took off his clothes one by one with a reluctant gesture. When I saw a glimpse of his bare skin, I turned my head in the opposite direction.

‘I think it would be better to leave now.’

I was looking for a time to leave the room, then quietly headed towards the door. And as I was about to turn the doorknob slightly, Bleon called me urgently.

“Wife…! Where are you going?”

At the sound of him calling me, I turned around and stared at Bleon. He was staring at me with anxious eyes, with his shirt unbuttoned and his upper body slightly exposed.

“I suddenly remembered something urgent so I think I should go. Can you get treatment on my own?”

“Wife…!”

“Take care and see you later. Philia, please take good care of the Duke.”

I smiled softly at Bleon and asked Philia for treatment and hurriedly went out of the door before the two could answer.

‘Phew…’

I almost had to watch it in real time. As soon as I stepped out, I breathed a sigh of relief that I had avoided those embarrassing moments. No matter how much of a treatment it was, it seemed that I would not be able to continue watching it anyway. Actually seeing the process of Philia’s treatment for Bleon described in the novel would be completely different from reading it.

‘Thank God.’

By the way, I was relieved that I could leave it to Philia without having to worry about Bleon’s treatment in the future. However, unlike my heart that thought it was safe, the moment I remembered the two of them together again, my heart pounded again, just like I had felt before.

‘What’s wrong with me?’

It seemed that Astell’s heart and mine were in sync with each other.

‘It will be fine.’

I took a deep breath for a while to get rid of the pain and exhaled. It was inevitable because I had recently possessed her and all my memories had flowed into me. Then the pain went away immediately.

‘As expected, then.’

When my heart felt better again, I stepped back and went down the stairs. It was to have a little tea time while Bleon was being treated. The tea here was so much better than I expected. I originally liked tea, so drinking tea from around the world was one of my hobbies. So, here too, savoring various teas was the most enjoyable part of my daily routine.

In particular, the tea I enjoy these days has dried red petals floating in them. The thought of having a cup of tea made me feel better, so I hurried down the stairs to find the butler just coming up the stairs.

“Madam.”

Jace came up to me as if he had something to do with me.

“What’s going on?”

“I have something to tell you about the hiring of a knight, which was ordered by the Madam the other day.”

“Tell me.”

“Sir McCain Holster, who applied for the rank of Knight Commander, is waiting in the parlor.”

“Now?”

“Yes. Even though I told him to set an appointment first, he said that he would wait for you, so I had no choice but to take him to the parlor.”

McCain Holster? McCain… McCain… I’ve definitely heard of it… The name was familiar, so I rummaged through Astell’s memories, but he wasn’t there.

If so… Looks like he’s someone from the novel… I struggled to remember the name McCain Holster in the novel. And in an instant, the name McCain flashed through my mind, and information about him came to mind.

‘Ah…!’

I remembered. But why did he come here? I was puzzled, but I couldn’t just send him away without seeing him. So I decided to meet him first.