8 Animakistan

The border crossing to Animakistan was guarded by an imposing stone fortress. Beyond the fortress was a narrow mountain pass, and the only way to enter the pass was through an arched gateway. This gateway was blocked off by an iron ramp and guarded by soldiers wearing striking red uniforms. As we came to a stop in front of the gateway, I looked up at the impressive structure.

The massive fortress was made of white stone, and at the very top of the central tower a large flag was hanging from a pole and flapping in the wind. The flag was made up of two horizontal stripes of equal width; the top stripe was red, and the bottom was blue. In the middle of the flag there was a large white symbol, but since the flag was moving with the wind, I couldn't quite see what that symbol was. I asked Briggo, and he explained that this was the official flag of Animakistan. The white symbol in the middle depicted a two-headed dragon wrapping itself around a sword.

I saw something else, too. Just above the stone gateway hung a large portrait of a man. The man had long flowing hair and a trimmed beard, and he wore lavish regal robes of red and gold. His piercing blue eyes looked like they were staring right at us, and when I asked Briggo about it, he confirmed that this was a portrait of Animak himself.

Two men passed through the gateway and walked up to our truck. They were dressed in red uniforms and they wore matching red visor caps, similar to the caps that military officers wear in our own world. Both men were tall and clean-shaven, and everything about them screamed order and discipline. When they were just steps from the truck, the two men stopped in unison and raised their hands to their temples to form a military salute.

"Sir Lor D. Briggo," one of the men said. "Welcome to Animakistan. I am Captain Justin Liebert of the Border Guard, and this is Colonel Barry Lancaster of the 31st Infantry Regiment. It is an honor to meet you, sir."

"Oh, you were expecting us," Brigg said and jumped down from the roof. He walked up to the officers and shook their hands. The men revealed wide, child-like smiles as they came face to face with Briggo, and by the way that they glared at him it looked like they were starstruck.

"Yes, sir," the one named Justin said. "A Springle Elf came through here earlier this morning. He told us you were coming this way, and he said that he was delivering one of your letters to the capital. But then he flew off in the wrong direction."

"Goddamn Springle Elves," Briggo cursed.

"Not to worry, sir," the one named Barry said. "We've developed a working telegraph system throughout the Kingdom. We've already sent word to the capital about your arrival."

"Ah, that's great! Thank you kindly, gentlemen. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"No, the pleasure is ours!" Justin proclaimed. "You are a national hero, and one of the Three Founding Fathers of Twigoslavia. It is an honor to be in your presence."

"Oh, please," Briggo said, waving off the praise. "You are far too kind. Anyhow, my friends and I need to reach Slavograd as soon as possible. I must speak to Animak himself about an urgent matter."

The officers nodded in unison. "Yes, sir. The quickest way is to take the Dragon Train. We will escort you to the nearest station personally."

"Oh, Dragon Train," Briggo muttered. "Well, you see, we were thinking of driving there. We've got this great horseless carriage and all…."

"You can take your carriage onto the Dragon Train, Sir Briggo," Barry replied. "Driving all the way to Slavograd would take days, but if you take the Dragon Train, you'll be there by this evening."

"Oh, well, I don't know…," Briggo said. He seemed a bit anxious, which was completely out of character for him.

"You said it's urgent, didn't you?" I said to Briggo.

"Well, yes, it is certainly urgent," he replied.

"Then let's just take the train!" I loved traveling by train when I was a kid, and I loved looking out the window at the towns and cities and countryside. Exploring this new country ─ Animakistan ─ from the comfort of a train would be a nice change of pace.

Briggo was still thinking things over, and for some strange reason he still seemed nervous. "All right, very well then," he said finally. "We'll take the Dragon Train."

"Excellent. Please follow us. We've got our own carriage ready to go, so we'll escort you to the station in no time."

As the officers turned and walked back towards the gateway, I noticed something strange about their uniforms. The uniforms had three white stripes running down the sleeves and pantlegs, which struck me as odd. This was a design feature that I would expect to see on an Adidas tracksuit, not a military uniform. But all the other soldiers at the fortress had the same type of uniform, complete with the white stripes running along the sides, so I just accepted it as part of this country's unique culture.

The soldiers lifted the iron ramp using a pully system, and then we were invited to drive through the stone gateway. "Wow," Blair said as Briggo climbed up to the roof again. "They didn't even check our documents."

"Of course not," Briggo said. "Any friend of mine is always welcome here."

Blair laughed. "You're a real tiger of a man, aren't you, Briggo?"

"He sure is," Sophia said softly.

"Oh, come now, ladies. You're far too kind."

As we crossed the border into Animakistan, we could see dozens of other soldiers in red uniforms standing still and saluting as we passed. Briggo was truly a big deal in this country, and I realized just how lucky Truck-chan and I were to run into him when we did. Without Briggo, we would probably still be lost in the middle of nowhere, or worse yet, we'd be dead. Instead, we were being welcomed like royalty, and it was all thanks to Briggo.

The two officers from before ─ Justin and Barry ─ hopped into a horseless carriage that looked like an antique car from the early 1900s. They asked us to follow them, and soon the fortress was behind us and the narrow mountain pass gave way to a vast expanse of lush countryside. The roads in Animakistan were wider and more modern than the roads in the Lawless Lands, so we were able to travel much faster than before.

Although we had asked Truck-chan to keep quiet so as not to arouse suspicion from the cat-women, she just couldn't help herself. She kept whispering silly things to me throughout the journey, but thankfully the cat-women didn't hear her over the sound of the engine. She wanted to talk about everything, from complaining about Blair scratching the roof with her nails, to fantasizing about how many children the two of us would have. I told her that I hope we'll have many, so I can open up a car dealership.

In order to get a break from Truck-chan, I decided to start up a conversation with Briggo.

"Hey, Briggo," I whispered out the window so that only he could hear me.

He bent down towards me. "Yes, Birito?"

"You seem a little nervous. Is everything okay?"

Briggo sighed. "There are only two things in this world that I am afraid of. The first is NOTHING, but the second is heights. I wanted to avoid the Dragon Train, but these soldiers are right. If the matter is urgent, as it clearly is, we must travel as swiftly as possible."

I was confused. "Heights? We're going on a train, aren't we?"

"The Dragon Train," Briggo replied. "It is a train that flies on the back of a dragon."

"WHAT?!" I cried. "I thought it was just a train with a cool dragon design."

Briggo laughed. "Now YOU seem a bit nervous, Birito."

Of course I was nervous! I never even thought that real dragons existed, and I certainly wasn't planning on riding on the back of one. The occasional flight I took to Hokkaido to visit my father's family was as close to a high-flying adventure as I ever wanted to get.

"Don't worry, it's perfectly safe," Briggo went on. "These dragons are trained to fly over a single designated route. They never deviate from it, and they don't make any unpredictable movements. It's not the dragon that worries me; it's just my irrational fear of high places. But now's as good a time as any to conquer that fear, isn't it? We'll do it together, Birito!"

"Sure," I said and shook my head. Embrace the craziness…. I promised myself that I would embrace the craziness of this world, didn't I? This dragon train was the perfect opportunity to do exactly that. Right?!

I have protagonist powers (at least that's what Briggo said). But if I really were an Anime protagonist, I would have been excited at the prospect of this airborne adventure. So why was I absolutely terrified?!

We drove for less than an hour before we came across the first town. It was a lovely place, full of stone houses with bright red rooftops and cobblestone streets littered with people. The citizens of this town were going about their business: riding in carriages and cars, selling their wares at the market, and chatting with friends and neighbors. Now that I think about it, there was an unusually large number of attractive older women in this town, but other than that everything seemed perfectly normal.

The red and blue flag of Animakistan was all around us, hanging from every lamppost and flapping on every rooftop. There were also some larger buildings made in an architectural style that reminded me of Medieval Europe, and after our journey through the empty Lawless Lands, seeing these intricate structures was a breath of fresh air. At the center of town there was a large building with stained-glass windows that must have been a church, and in front of the church there was a statue of a long-haired man on a horse. This was surely Animak again, the ruler of Animakistan, since he was wearing the same clothes as the portrait we saw back at the fortress.

The lead car came to a stop at the outer edge of town, next to some sort of farmer's market. Truck-chan stopped right behind it and turned off her engine. The two officers exited their car, and then they asked to have a private word with Briggo while the rest of us helped ourselves to goods from the market. Blair and Sophia jumped at the opportunity to get some food, but I was hesitant to go anywhere without Briggo. Briggo sensed my concern, so he told the officers that they could speak freely in front of me.

"Very well," Justin said. "Please, follow me. We'll go somewhere more private."

I told Truck-chan to stay put until we came back, and then Briggo and I followed the two officers into an empty alleyway.

"Sir Briggo," Barry said. "Do you know about the Patrons of Twigoslavia?"

"I've heard rumors, but nothing concrete."

"It is an organization dedicated to the restoration of Twigoslavia," Barry continued, "and both Justin and I are members."

"Hmm, I see," Briggo said. "But if you wish to restore Twigoslavia, why did you join the army of Animakistan?"

"I'll explain," Justin said. "His Highness Emperor Animak is ambitious, and he has been moving to expand his rule over the remnants of the former Twigoslavia. He plans to incorporate the Lawless Lands and several independent island nations into the Animakistani Empire."

Briggo nodded. "Knowing Animak, that makes perfect sense."

"We believe that the best way to support the restoration of Twigoslavia is to support Emperor Animak's current policies, which are slowly reuniting the various divided parts of the country into a single whole. The only exception is Nuxturia, which continues to maintain its independence. One day we hope to work with Lord Nuxanor to bring everything together again, but as things stand, working with Nuxanor will be difficult."

"Yes, of course" Briggo said.

"Why's that?" I asked. They all seemed to know why Nuxanor was hard to work with, but I had no idea, and I was curious.

"Unlike Emperor Animak, who is always thinking about expansion, Lord Nuxanor spends most of his time organizing tournaments, lavish parties, and week-long festivals in his capital city of Flexington. The priorities of the two rulers couldn't be more different, and that's part of the reason why they can't see eye to eye."

"Oh," I said.

Briggo sighed. "Yes, their pointless rivalry has caused so much damage, and now with the Demon Lord's invasion, their foolish feud could destroy us all. Listen here, Justin and Barry."

The two men nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Do you know where the Ancient Tower is?"

"Those ruins up in the north?"

"Yes, the Ancient Tower was built a thousand years ago. Its purpose was to guard the land we know today as the Former Twigoslavia from northern invaders. The Tower protects the narrow strip of land that any invading army would have to pass through in order to reach Twigoslavia, and that is where I've sent my Chad Lad Pirates. If we can fortify the Tower and protect the pass, we can beat back even a much larger army."

"Yes, I understand," Barry said.

"Once I convince Animak and Nuxanor to set their differences aside, we will all join forces at the ruins of the Ancient Tower, and we will beat back the Demon Lord's invasion. That single act of unity will preserve our country, and it could also invigorate your efforts to restore Twigoslavia. We are on the same side."

"Yes, sir," Justin said. "You can count on us."

"I'm glad to hear it. I'll do my best to reinforce the pass as soon as possible, but until then my pirates need your help."

Barry nodded. "The Patrons of Twigoslavia are with you! We will send our strongest Kink users to the Ancient Tower. We will stand together with the Chad Lad Pirates!"

Briggo shook hands with the two officers, and they smiled at him and bowed repeatedly. As the three men continued to chitchat about the politics of Twigoslavia, I heard a commotion coming from the street.

"I'll check it out," I said and walked out of the alleyway. It didn't take long to identify the source of the disturbance. Despite my specific instructions, Truck-chan wasn't staying put. On the contrary, she was swerving around like a maniac and screaming profanities. She seemed to be chasing Blair, who was jumping around on all fours in an attempt to avoid getting flattened by Truck-chan. Sophia was just standing off to the side, utterly baffled.

"Hey, Briggo," I called out, trying to keep my cool. "I'll be right back! You just stay here with the officers, okay?" I gave him a look that said I wanted him to keep the officers busy inside the alleyway. At least I hoped that's what it said, but I didn't know whether Briggo would take the hint.

"Yes, sure thing, Birito!" Briggo said and nodded, and I think that he understood, because he continued to chitchat with the officers, which kept them occupied inside the alleyway.

I ran out into the street. "Truck-chan, what are you doing?!"

When she heard me, Truck-chan actually turned herself around to look at me, and it was one of the weirdest things I had ever seen. "Birito-kun!" she said. "That hairy prostitute tried to come inside me!"

"WHAT?!"

"I was just curious about the machinery inside the cabin," Blair replied, still moving quickly from side to side in order to avoid Truck-chan. "I've never seen a carriage like this before."

"Damn right you haven't!" Truck-chan shouted. "This carriage is gonna end all 9 of your slutty lives!"

"What's going on here, Birito?" Blair asked. "Why is your carriage moving on its own?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Truck-chan, please, calm down. You're making a scene."

"But Birito-kun! This bitch tried to ENTER ME! Do you know what that means?!"

"Yes, okay, all right!" I said. "I know what it means, but Blair doesn't. We never told her the truth about you, so just clam down! I'm begging you." I looked around. Thankfully, the streets around us were largely empty, but the few people in the surrounding area were definitely starting to look in our direction.

Truck-chan sighed. She stopped her rampage and returned to a parked position. "Fine," she said. "But if she tries to enter me again, I'll kill her and use her tail to clean my exhaust pipe."

Blair was still utterly confused, and so was Sophia. I was forced to explain everything, including the truth about Truck-chan and why we had to keep her identity a secret. Both of the cat-women were shocked to learn that someone had the ability to transform from a truck into a human, and vice versa; neither of them had ever seen such strange magic before. However, this revelation did not deter them from continuing the journey with us, although Blair was suddenly a lot more cautious about turning her back on Truck-chan.

Once I had calmed everyone down, Briggo emerged from the alleyway along with Justin and Barry. The two officers got back into their car as we assumed our usual positions aboard Truck-chan, and then we all took the nearest road out of town. This road took us upward as it swirled around a large inselberg (which is essentially a small mountain that pokes out abruptly out of an otherwise flat plain). As we made our way up the rocky ridge, still following the officers' car, we got our first glimpse of the Dragon Train.

It was the craziest thing I had ever seen (for the time being).