Chapter 102 F*ck you Rimuru!

The next day…

I look at the demon in front of me with my arms crossed in front of my chest. The demon stands there with that exact same calm smile on his face with his eyes closed, simply waiting for me to speak first.

Now… what do I do with this guy? I wasn’t expecting him to pop up any time soon and I have no idea what to do with him. I don’t want to just have him wander around doing nothing, and I just stay in my house all day unlike OG Rimuru, so I don’t need a secretary…

*Sigh*

I don’t wanna deal with this, I’ll just leave it to Future Rimuru. In any case…

Rimuru- “For starters, you wanna work for me?”

???- “I would love to.”

He lowers his head forward slightly as he accepts.

Wow, that easy? I don’t remember much, but I think this guy was watching me ever since (Human) Shizu came to Avalon. Something to do with her Anti-Magic Mask attracting his attention… Meh, I can't be fucked.

In any case, personalities don’t seem to have much difference in this Alternate Universe, at least from my experience. If that’s the case, I guess I can trust Mister Noir here.

Rimuru- “Then your name will be Diablo. You can be…”

Hi, Future Rimuru here, FUCK YOU PAST RIMURU! Where do I put this guy… Hmm? Hold on, I don’t need a secretary, but…

Rimuru- “My exclusive butler, I guess.”

A butler seems nice. Mmm. I guess it’s settled then.

Diablo’s expression shifts into one of euphoria before quickly snapping back to his composed face, trying to hide the overwhelming joy he is feeling. He places a hand over his chest as he kneels down on one knee.

Diablo- “Diablo… that is my name. My heart is filled with deep emotions, my lord! I shall forever treasure this name!”

Holy shit, isn't this too much? What the fuck did I do? Why does it seem like getting demoted from a Primordial Demon to a fucking butler is one of the best things to happen in his several thousand-year-long life?

I feel my magicules leave my body and flow into the now officially named Diablo. Unlike the other evolutions of my subordinates that happened overnight, Diablo’s evolution began immediately.

A sort of dark energy cocoon enveloped Diablo’s body. After staying like that for several seconds, the cocoon cracks before shattering. The fragments glide through the air before dispersing into the atmosphere.

Meanwhile Diablo has no change in appearance aside from his outfit. Before, he wore something akin to a noble’s clothing. Now, he is wearing a rather snazzy butler’s outfit, his pitch-black tuxedo matching well with his hair. In any case, his overall power increased through the naming process, so there you go.

Diablo, still kneeling, continues to talk.

Diablo- “I pledge my eternal loyalty to you, my lord.”

Diablo seems like he’s going to continue talking for a long time, so I quickly interrupt him.

Rimuru- “Ah, you don’t need to call me ‘lord’. Just Monik- *Cough* just Rimuru is fine.”

That damn game still haunts me.

Diablo- “Understood, Rimuru-sama. Aah, that name sounds like the chimes in the wind! It inspires me more to serve such a graceful and magnificent being such as you!”

But I'm a slime tho.

And seriously, I'm feeling a little weird, having all these compliments poured on me even though I didn’t do anything to deserve it. Like really, what the fuck did I do? He’s making me out to be some kind of fucking saint.

*SLAM!*

Shion- “You understand, don’t you!?”

Holy fuck! Where did you come from!?

Shion bursts through a random door like the fucking kool-aid man, nearly destroying the damn thing in the process. In her hands is a stack of paper… I think?

Now that I think about it, where even am I?

I look around to find myself in my office. Yes, I have an office that I use to deal with all the paperwork and stuff. And by “I”, I mean my clone.

The office itself looks exactly like a medieval noble’s workspace, with dark wood everywhere including my furniture and bookshelves which are lining every wall.

Those books are purely decorative and are completely blank, by the way.

Rimuru- “What the hell are you doing here?”

I ask with genuine confusion.

Shion- “My Rimuru senses were tingling and I felt my secretary position being threatened.”

Rimuru- “But you never were my secretary though?”

Shion- “Oh don’t be silly, Rimuru-sama! Look, I've even organised your papers for you!”

She holds up the stack of destroyed papers with a proud and eager expression, seeking my praise.

This is exactly why I don’t want her as a secretary. She is a beautiful woman and she looks the part, but she is completely useless in all things outside of combat, in which she excels.

However, Avalon is really peaceful, and we don’t need to fight often. Because of this, she sought other paths for her to take… I should have brought her with me for the Charybdis issue…

I helplessly sigh with a “whatever” smile as I walk up and pat Shion’s head.

Rimuru- “Yeah yeah, you did well… Although you didn’t have to cut the paper with your sword.”

I don’t know if she actually cut the paper with her sword, but knowing her, she probably did. I also choose to avoid mentioning the pieces of sentient food stuck on some of the pages as well.

Regardless of how she acts, I can't get angry at her. She just wants to please me but she doesn’t know how to, and I don’t want to punish her for that. Especially since she will never change unless I do something drastic.

Besides, this is a problem for Clone Rimuru to deal with.

Clone Rimuru- “FUCK YOU ORIGINAL RIMURU!”

I hear a voice in the background but I ignore it. Shion smiles brightly as I stroke her hair, completely blocking out my advice. Meanwhile Diablo is standing to the side, nodding his head with sparkling eyes.

Diablo- “Aah, Rimuru-sama is such a benevolent being!”

Shion immediately joins Diablo.

Shion- “You understand! Rimuru-sama is so kind and warm! It makes me want to do even more for him!”

Please don’t.

Or rather, do what you want, it’s not my problem.

Clone Rimuru- “FUCK YOU!”

Shion and Diablo end up being drawn into their own Rimuru-styled world. Deciding I should just let them be (what’s the worst that could happen), I leave the room and close the door behind me with a small smile on my face.

Really, I don’t deserve these guys.

I wonder how everyone else is doing too. I don’t really interact with them as much and I feel a bit guilty. I should go and say hi.

Meanwhile Shion and Diablo continue their talks about making a giant Rimuru statue made of pure gold and magisteel. Luckily, Clone Rimuru stops them.

Clones really are a lazy mans best friend, as much as they might hate the original.

-----

Name: Rimuru

Race: Origin Slime

Protection: Crest of Space

Title: Highest Tier Spirit, Leader of the Monsters, Onii-chan, King of Avalon, Master of Headpats, Procrastinator King, The Nutcracker

Manas: [Manas: Illyasviel]

Ultimate Skills: [Belzebuth, Lord of Gluttony] [Ahura Mazda, Lord of Creation] [Scathach, Lord of Runes]

Unique Skills: [Spatial Ruler]

Intrinsic Skills: [Infinite Regeneration] [Universal Shapeshift] [Universal Sense] [Enhanced Replication] [Universal Thread]

Extra Skills: [Lord's Ambition] [Thought Communication] [Control Natural Elements] [Control Magic] [Control Gravity]

Resistances: [Cancel Pain] [Resist Melee Attack] [Cancel Natural Elements] [Cancel Ailments] [Resist Spiritual Attack] [Resist Holy/Demonic Attack]

Equipment: Yamato, [Raphael] Skill Orb, Limiter Ring

DJDAN

A/N: I dont really know what to do with Diablo, so I'll just have him hang around.

Clone MC: I know, right?

AN: ...

Clone MC: ...

AN: ... Where the fuck is the Original?

Clone MC: Fucking off somewhere, I dont know...

AN: ...

Clone MC: ...

AN: ... Wanna talk shit about him?

Clone MC: Hell yeah!

Let me know if I missed anything.

https://discord.gg/Yt4kKTSR