Chapter 133 A small interlude…

The line continues moving forward at a slow pace. It seems the scene with the thug is a normal occurrence as no one gave a fuck.

Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of guards around and they were willing to step in, but after I released my aura through [Lord’s Ambition] they realised that the one they should be helping is not us.

And they don’t want to help the aggressor, so they just didn’t do anything.

I was also thinking that a random hot guy with a hero complex would come flying out of nowhere and say something like “Stop bothering those girls!” alongside his dark elf loli slave that he saved not that long ago and a red-haired swordsman.

Thank god that didn’t happen, I don’t want to deal with that shit.

Anyway, the line continued moving and currently, the guy in front of us just got admitted and it’s our turn now.

Using [Universal Sense] to peek in on how the whole identification process goes, I have just one thing to say… It takes so fucking long. Each one takes just under half an hour to process.

Yeah… nope.

Plus we don’t exactly have any identity on us besides our Guild Cards, and Illya doesn’t even have one.

???- “Hi! Can I please see any form of identity you have?”

I wave my hand in front of the receptionist’s face and keep walking through.

Rimuru- “These are not the droids you’re looking for…”

The receptionist’s eyes dull slightly as me and my companions keep walking through like nobody’s business. Meanwhile, the rune written on my palm fades as I snicker to myself.

Right, now we have to go to the Free Guild HQ to meet Yuuki.

But first…

???- “Harrrgh, give me all yer money!”

We have to deal with this wild cannon fodder that appeared out of nowhere.

God, I don’t want to deal with one of these people right now…

Mikoto- “Hey, Rimuru.. doesn’t this guy seem kind of familiar?”

Mikoto leans towards me and whispers into my ear.

I look at the guy’s face, but…

Nope.

To explain what he looks like, he’s the scrawny kind, wearing brown clothes and has a rat-like face. It’s a really generic face that only a mother could love, but easily forgettable too. He’s also holding a rusty blunt knife.

Illya- “Onii-chan, I kicked this guy’s nuts at the gate before.”

Oh, now I remember! This was the guy that just messed with us!

Wait how did he get inside then? And why does he not seem to remember us? Did Illya kick him so hard he lost his memories?

Well, I guess I'll just ask him.

Rimuru- “… Hey, do we know you?”

???- “Haah? Never seen ya in my life!”

Guess it’s not that.

Rimuru- “Hmm… Do you have a brother?”

???- “Hmm? Yeah, I got a twin. He’s out adventuring right now, he should be coming back soon.”

Uhm, yeah, I don’t think so. At least that explains it, they’re two different people.

*Sigh*

Well, I don’t want to face-slap anyone right now, I'm satisfied with Illya’s performance.

I guess I'll just use Talk-no-Jutsu.

Rimuru- “Hey, what’s your name?”

???- “Gob.”

What a dumb fucking name.

Rimuru- “What’s your brother’s name?”

Gob- “Bob.”

.

.

.

Generic, just like his face. Or rather…

Rimuru- “… Bob’s the favourite child, isn't he?”

I mean, why else would his parents name him “Gob”?

Gob- “…”

Rimuru- “… I'm right, aren’t I?”

Gob- “Shut up! And stop distracting me! Give me your money or else yah gon git stabbed!”

His accent turns a weird direction at the end, but it seems Talk-no-Jutsu has failed.

*Spark*

Mikoto starts charging up her lightning, getting ready to shock his ass, but I just place my hand on her shoulder.

Rimuru- “I got this.”

I whisper to her. Mikoto’s lightning dies down as I walk forwards towards Mr Bog or something, I forgot his name.

Rimuru- “Listen, we don’t have any money. But I do have something else…”

After saying that, I take out a slip of paper and hold it out to him. He snatches it out of my hands, reading it with squinted eyes.

… Wait, can he read?

Gob- “What’s this say?”

Nope, he can't.

RImuru- “It’s a coupon for the biggest brothel in the city.”

Gob- “What!? Really!? Screw this, I'm gonna get myself a woman!”

And so he runs off into the alleys.

Mikoto- “… What did you do?”

Rimuru- “What?”

Illya- “You gave him something and he ran off with a disgusting smile on his face. Normally you would beat him up at least.”

Rimuru- “What, do I really seem like the guy who solves all my problems like that?”

Mikoto- >_>

Illya- >_>

Ranga- ‘You do most of the time, Master! And I respect you for it!’

…

*Cough*

Rimuru- “Well, I gave him a white piece of paper that just says ‘99% off your next purchase at a brothel’. That’s it.”

Mikoto- “Isn't that obviously fake?”

I just shrug.

Rimuru- “Some people have no hope in the mental department. He was one of them.”

I mean, to anyone else, a white slip of paper with those words on it would seem like an obvious scam.

Not only that…

Rimuru- “I also made it expire yesterday.”

I turn around and keep walking to the Free Guild HQ I can see in the distance. The burning feeling from the stares on my back intensifies, but I've long learned to ignore such a feeling.

And so, we have reached our destination. Now to talk with the psychopath and try not to make it seem like I know he’s a suspicious fellow.

.

.

.

Hang on, can't I just kill him? Won't that just solve everything?

-----

Name: Rimuru

Race: Origin Slime

Protection: Crest of Space

Title: Highest Tier Spirit, Leader of the Monsters, Onii-chan, King of Avalon, Master of Headpats, Procrastinator King, The Nutcracker

Manas: [Manas: Illyasviel]

Ultimate Skills: [Belzebuth, Lord of Gluttony] [Ahura Mazda, Lord of Creation] [Scathach, Lord of Runes]

Unique Skills: [Spatial Ruler]

Intrinsic Skills: [Infinite Regeneration] [Universal Shapeshift] [Universal Sense] [Enhanced Replication] [Universal Thread]

Extra Skills: [Lord's Ambition] [Thought Communication] [Control Natural Elements] [Control Magic] [Control Gravity]

Resistances: [Cancel Pain] [Resist Melee Attack] [Cancel Natural Elements] [Cancel Ailments] [Cancel Spiritual Attack] [Resist Holy/Demonic Attack]

Equipment: Yamato, [Raphael] Skill Orb, Limiter Ring

DJDAN

Sorry, this chap is a little smaller than usual. I just don’t feel like writing rn…

Also, I'm reading Yuuki’s wiki page right now and… it said that he’s a good guy now?

What? Since fucking when?

Well, he’s not ENTIRELY good, but he’s not exactly evil either.

I don’t see how, since he still seemed pretty fucking evil in the light novel to me, but on the assumption that I just read it wrong, then…

Well, let’s just keep Yuuki as the bad guy here that wants nothing but to cause chaos.

Let me know if I missed anything.

https://discord.gg/VJ8xR6Jh