Chapter 646 - I Want To Stay, But I Can't

While preparing their picnic gear, London hurriedly contacted Marc to bring his old car to the apartment. Last night he drove his most luxurious Mercedes from the penthouse to this apartment because he didn't think L would be there.

But this afternoon, since they were going on a picnic to the river, of course, L would wonder why his regular car was not in the parking lot.

At 2 pm, they were already sitting nicely in the car and driving toward the park by the river where they had a picnic and ate burgers the last time. London was so happy that he could not stop humming along the way. Even L was having a good enough mood that she wasn't bothered by the constant humming of the untalented singer beside her.

L herself wore a curly blond wig, wide summer hat, and sunglasses to disguise her appearance. She should not be caught by fans on a picnic by the river looking extremely pregnant with an unknown man.

Paparazzi and gossip columnists could mercilessly attack her, and the career she had built painstakingly could be destroyed just like that. She could not take risks.

Once he finished parking his car, London hurriedly opened the door for L and helped her get out. The girl's body was now too large and troublesome to move comfortably. That was why London tried as much as possible to help her by making things comfortable for L.

As soon as the car door was closed, he immediately held L's waist with his right hand, while his left hand carrying a picnic basket. From afar, people who see them walking together would assume that the two were a loving married couple.

"Be careful," said London, leading L to the most beautiful riverbank. It was located under a shady tree and had very thick grass. Colorful wildflowers looked beautiful around them. London and L could also see boats passing by with an unobstructed view.

London immediately spread their picnic blanket and arranged the food and drinks neatly and then helped L sit slowly under the tree. As her back leaned against the tree, there was a sigh of relief from L and her face seemed to brighten.

London read in many books about pregnancy that on six months in, usually pregnant women would experience a lot of discomforts, such as aches, swollen feet, frequent urination, cramps, and some others.

Therefore, he repeatedly asked L if she was comfortable, if she craved something, whether her back or legs hurt, or if she wanted to go to the toilet. At first, L still replied politely that she was okay, but apparently, her patience ran out so fast after London kept asking her how she was doing every five minutes.

"Can't you keep quiet, hmm? I'm not deaf, okay... Why do you keep asking the same questions over and over again?" hissed L, who had been hoping she could close her eyes, enjoy the fresh air and the breeze.

Her indulgence was interrupted by London's voice asking if she was okay every five minutes, "Does your back hurt? Do you want to go to the toilet? Are your legs cramped?" etc. He sounded just like a broken record.

London could only frown at L's scolding.

"Sorry for being too considerate," he replied. "I am a first-time father, okay. So, all the processes have really made me frustrated. I'm just trying to make you feel as comfortable as possible by reducing all the unpleasant things that many pregnant women experience. I've read so many books about pregnancy ..."

L could only sigh when she heard that. She placed her hand on London's lips and deliberately covered his mouth so he would stop talking.

"You. Talk. Too. Much," said L. "I appreciate your good intentions, but this is too much. If I needed anything, I'd tell you. You don't have to ask me such questions."

London touched L's hand, which covered his mouth and, shamelessly, kissed her hand. "Sorry, but I don't believe you will tell me the truth if you need anything. You have been hiding things from me all this time."

L gasped at London's words. "Hiding things from you? Like what??"

London coughed, "First, you hid your pregnancy from me. If I hadn't looked for you myself, I would never have known. Do you want to argue with that?"

L bit her lip and shook her head slowly. She acknowledged that London was right.

"Now ... that's just the first. The second one..." London looked at L deeply, "You're not honest with me about what you want about point 20. You're inconsistent and confused me ..."

L stared back at London for a while, and then looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Because you are inconsistent? Or are you apologizing because you still want to leave? I don't know ... Please talk truthfully to me. Think of it as a birthday present for me."

L raised her face again, and this time she lifted her hand and touched London's face gently. Subconsciously the young man closed his eyes and enjoyed the touch of L's fingers on his face.

"Killian ... I really want to stay, but I can't. Sorry if I change my mind again." L whispered in a choked voice, almost crying. "I thought about it all night long and realized I would be selfish if I showed up before Lily after I left her. So, I thought it would be better if she didn't know me at all. I think Finland is a very nice girl and she also looked like she is fond of you. You are a good man, you deserve a woman who can make you happy. "

"Wait ... what? I don't understand." London suddenly opened his eyes and looked at L with a surprised look. "You mean you changed your mind and still want to leave Lilly after giving birth, and you give up your child to be cared for by another woman??"

L was holding back her tears and nodded. "Don't tell Lily that her mother left her, she will be heartbroken. It's better if Finland claims to be her mother from the start ..."

"You mustn't say something like that! It's so hurtful to hear." London wanted to shake L's body and forced her to think logically and use her heart, but he did not want to hurt her. How could L have the heart to leave her baby behind? "Lily can hear you. She must be very sad right now ..."

"I'm sorry ... I am so sorry..." L whispered in a bitter voice. She stroked her belly with affection, and finally, the tears that she had been trying to hold back started streaming down her cheeks, and she sobbed.

"What's the matter, L? Please tell me what happened? I want to help you ... But if I don't know anything, then I'm helpless ..." persuaded London, holding L to her c.h.e.s.t. "Let me help you ..."

L did not answer at all. But she also did not try to escape London's arms and cried her tears in the man's shirt. After ten minutes, she finally calmed down and tried to organize her emotions.

Meanwhile, London continued to rub her back, trying to make L feel that she was not alone and that London was always willing to be her place to lean on.

"Are you okay now?" London asked gently. L finally nodded. She had stopped crying and tried to tidy herself up.

"Thank you," said the girl in a low voice.

"Can I ask you something? You said you really want to stay ... but you can't. Does that mean ... you actually want to stay with me, marry me and raise Lily together ... but you can't?" London asked her carefully, trying not to make L cry again, but he was very curious. He really wanted to understand L.

L stared at London for some time, hearing his question, and finally, she nodded slowly. "That's right, I can't."

"Why can't you marry me?" London asked again, still as gentle as before.

L took a deep breath and seemed to struggle with herself before finally, she looked away and answered in a sorrowful voice. "I can't ... because I already have a fiance."