101 Eros's Memories

From what I gathered so far, they all contained werewolves and...Eros.

Most of it was from Eros' point of view, meaning I was seeing everything through his eyes.

It was an out of body experience because I could feel his every emotion as if they were my own.

His anger.

His resolution.

His agony.

And...his humiliation.

I couldn't figure out if they were just crazy dreams or reality.

They felt too real to only be a figment of my crazy subconscious imagination.

Shakily, I glanced over at Eros' side of the bed to note that he was already up.

He stood several steps away when I pulled myself into a sitting position and let my legs dangle off the side of the bed.

There was a melancholic expression on his face as he gazes down at me, and I note that his eyes are glowing a beautiful shade of blue. Eros was trying to calm his emotions.

I can tell because of that stiffness in his shoulders.

My mouth opens and closes several times as I try to find a way to speak without crying.

But nothing comes out.

"You can ask me anything, Emira. I will always answer you truthfully," Eros murmured, gradually moving closer to my trembling form on the bed.

I swallowed down the urge to flinch when my eyes moved down to his long fingers.

"Even if you want my heart, I will take it from my chest and give it to you," Eros said earnestly.

The truth in his words cannot be denied.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked away as tears started to burn my eyes.

His memories were flooding through my brain a hundred miles a minute.

I felt sickened at the gruesome scenes that come and go in rapid succession.

Blood.

Mangled bodies.

Death.

Decay.

Now I know why Zanthos kept calling Eros a 'monster'.

"I'm not perfect, Emira. I'm just as prone to error as any man," he softly said, kissing my knuckles delicately as he knelt on his knees before me. "I have done things that I am not proud of and I am doing my best to atone for them."

"I know, Eros. I know," I whispered out through a dry raspy throat that felt as if it had been pinched shut.

In his world, the strongest survive.

You have to fight to be where you want to be because nothing is handed to you.

And sadly for a wolf born more submissive, it took countless battles and never-ending challenges to stand where he was today.

From what I gathered from Eros' memories, Eros wasn't just born submissive, he was born an Omega.

An Omega who was looked down upon for what he couldn't control.

How can someone choose what they were born with or without?

I am proud of him.

I am proud that he managed to overcome himself and show everyone that even an Omega could become an Alpha, that a follower could become a leader.

It took a lot of hard work to rise in ranks, to gain his father and the pack's approval, and to one-up Zanthos.

Zanthos only had the opportunity to become Alpha first because he was born with more dominant genes, but that didn't make him a good leader.

The whole Lillith situation determined that.

And Eros didn't choose to fight all of those werewolves who decided to challenge him. They did that to themselves.

Because Eros was able to rise in the ranks, many others followed tail, wanting to challenge him for his title as the Cardinal Alpha.

Some chose to submit and others...chose to die.

Those who challenged him knew what they were getting into.

It was just hard to see Eros destroying them when they lost.

There are a lot of things that I see with a human sort of view, and it would be unfair of me to judge Eros based on my human morality when he is a werewolf.

I keep forgetting that he's not human and that underneath this beautiful humanoid shell is actually a bloodthirsty beast capable of much more than loving me.

But, I can't see him as anything other than my mate, my Eros.