Chapter 232 - Underwater Thoughts

Damon swam underwater with the goal to put some distance from himself and the strong currents of the waterfall.

It's been a while since he did a stunt like this one, and he found it cathartic.

Was there a chance for him to die by jumping into this waterfall? Probably not.

At most, he would get badly hurt.

Why did he take that risk? Because the freefall mixed with the uncertainty of what's hiding below the mist, and it was exhilarating.

For a control freak  like Damon, jumping into the unknown was stressful and addicting at the same time, and it rewarded him with an immense sense of accomplishment when he emerged out of it unscathed, making him feel like he gambled with death and came out victorious.

Just like every time before, the rush of adrenaline purged all insignificant things from his mind. In this case, as he was falling down, there was only one thing on his mind. Talia.

Damon was painfully aware that his past was coming back to bite him with interest.

In his defense, at that time, he didn't think about a mate. Actually, with every next woman who came onto him with ulterior motives, Damon's desire to find his mate was reducing, and considering that he started from zero, it was going into negative.

Now Damon knew how stupid that was, but at that time, he was just a guy with an insatiable appetite and an endless stream of women who were throwing themselves at him. There was absolutely no reason for him to reject them.

Would he act differently if he knew that one day he will meet his mate who will mean the world to him? Probably not.

But would he act differently if he knew that his philandering would end up hurting his mate? Maaaybe?

Who was he kidding? Damon was always a stubborn Alpha, accustomed to instant gratification, and if someone told him five years ago how a wonderful woman will come into his life and he will be smitten, and that's why he should keep it in his pants, Damon would kick that person to another planet.

How can an Alpha keep it in his pants? He has NEEDS!

Unless there is a serious reason for suppressing the urges, every Alpha will give in when a plethora of women are offering themselves wantonly.

A promise that SOMEDAY he will find something better wouldn't be enough for Damon to reject women who came at him.

It's like when a parched man has glasses of crystal clear water right in front of him. Will he continue to suffer, or will he quench his thirst?

Damon told himself to burry these thoughts deep inside his mind and not to allow them to resurface, ever again, because if Talia's wolf can really read minds, he will be in a heap of trouble. 

Yes, Talia loves him, but she grew up differently and she won't understand, and Damon can't blame her because if she had even one lover before him, Damon would rip that guy into pieces. 

Dwelling on the past was useless and unfortunately, there is no medicine for regret. The only thing Damon can do is try to help Talia build defenses for situations when Damon's past resurfaces. Unfortunately, Damon didn't know how to tackle this problem. 

When he realized they were mates, Damon needed a few days to accept that he can't resist the pull of the bond, and a few days later he acknowledged how Talia is adorable and wonderful in every way possible.

If he was not a lustful jerk, he would probably fall in love with Talia even without the mate bond. Assuming he pays attention to her for long enough to realize how amazing she is. Was this something he can use to get himself out of the current pickle?

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Damon shook his head as he emerged above the surface of the turbulent water and took a deep breath to fill his lungs with much-needed air.

Did Talia see that? Did she admire his athletic abilities?

Damon looked up and narrowed his eyes at the scene of Talia standing at the top of the big rock they were sitting on previously. What was she doing? Was she unable to see him?

Damon raised his arm and gave her a wave that froze halfway when Talia pushed herself off the rock.

It took him a moment to accept what was happening in front of his eyes.

What the hell!?

"TALIA!", Damon's roar was drowned by the thundering of the waterfall, and he watched helplessly as she disappeared into the mist.

Damon frantically swam in that direction and dove underwater in search of Talia.

He needed to find her and assure her safety.

His body is agile and strong, but what about Talia? She is so delicate, and he feared that just the water pressure will cause her serious injuries.

...

Talia's whole body tensed when icy water enveloped her, and she wondered if she will reach the bottom. She opened her eyes to see, but the numerous air bubbles mixed with the mud from the riverbed that stirred under the impact of the water from above and it blurred everything, and the strong currents pushed and pulled her randomly, making it impossible to tell which way is up.

Talia panicked. Is this how she will die?

She didn't get a chance to tell Damon that she loves him, and she still didn't meet his wolf officially, but she will regret the most that when they were sitting next to each other on that rock, she didn't lean onto him. She wanted to hug and kiss him, why did she suppress that urge?

If those were their last moments together, why did she sulk instead of making the most of it?

And she will also regret that when her wolf was talking smack to Damon, she didn't fight harder to regain control. Guilt swelled within Talia that she actually agreed with her wolf on many points. Didn't she turn her back on Damon?

Maybe dying here will be her punishment because she acted against her mate, her other half. It didn't matter if the person berating Damon was her wolf or not, Damon is her mate and he should come first, yet she betrayed him. Maybe it's better this way. With her gone, Damon will get a chance to find himself a Luna who deserves that position, and not a nobody he found in the attic.

From the beginning, it was Damon protecting her and doing things for her, and she was silently contemplating exit strategies. Did she ever put her trust in him completely? At that point, it didn't matter.

Moments with Damon flashed in Talia's mind that filled her chest with warm and fuzzy feelings.

A handsome stranger came to the attic of the Red Moon pack, holding her and licking her wound… her falling asleep in the car while leaning on the Alpha who smelled of the forest and the dark chocolate, and waking up in a hotel room… Damon snatching a piece of cotton candy from her… his cocky smile that she wished to erase, yet she couldn't wait to see it again… his crazed obsession with feeding her… holding hands under the table… scent, warmth, kisses, touches… the way his icy-blue eyes stirred with emotions when he looked at her, and how his gaze would turn almost feral during their lovemaking, but she was not afraid. She was never afraid of him because she knew that side of Damon was only hers to see, and her heart tightened at the thought that she will not see him ever again.

More than in the turbulent waters around her, Talia was drowning in regret for not telling Damon how much she appreciates everything he did for her, and for not telling him how much he means to her.

Every time Talia lost her way, Damon would come to her rescue, just how he found her under the tree in the amusement park, and next to the clocktower on the town square at the Summer Solstice festival, and many other times she couldn't clearly remember because her mind was getting hazy due to lack of oxygen, but she clearly remembered how only a day before she saw Damon being stabbed and shot while protecting her from rogues, and then she cried next to his hospital bed while wishing for him to get better so that they can be happy, together. And now it's over. They had so little time left, yet she ruined it.

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