Chapter 187 - To Fort Yano

<Author's note: The things (racism, s.e.xism, political views, etc.) depicted or mentioned in this story do not reflect the real world and are purely coincidences. If they do, please keep in mind that they are simply for world-building and are only work of fiction. Thank you for your understanding.>

6:01 am.

Nathan was at the kitchen preparing breakfast.

Zita stepped outside her room and went to the kitchen.

Nathan looked at her.

Her hair and clothes were a mess and she looked tired.

"Take a seat. Were you able to get some sleep last night, kid?"

"Yes..." she said as she took a seat and then yawned.

'Yeah, right. Well, it was hot last night. I really need to get a solar panel or generator and also get a mosquito net and rechargeable fan,' he thought. "Today, we're heading to Fort Yano. Be sure to minimize eating any candies and junk food so that in the afternoon you will be able to take a quick nap," he said as he summoned pots of food from his [Artifact] Gold Spatial Finger.

Just like the [Grade D] Spatial Bag, the [Artifact] Gold Spatial Finger also had a Time-freeze effect inside them. Although both items don't allow any living being to enter their storage space, anything that's placed inside them won't be affected by time and will remain just as they were before entering.

Because of the effect of Time-freeze, Nathan mostly cooks in bulk.

And last night, the food that they cook was served for breakfast -- ground pork with vegetables, vegetable soup and rice.

When Zita saw the vegetables, she immediately became alert and stared at them like they were some powerful formidable enemy.

She honestly thought she was going to have fried rice just as Nathan promised her last night. Or if not, maybe cereal or bread, just like her first breakfast with Nathan back at Burrow City in Womania.

"Kid, what do you want for a drink? Milk, chocolate or milk chocolate?" Nathan said as he sat down.

Zita's face immediately brightened and she said, "I want chocolate!"

Nathan summoned a large bottle of chocolate drink.

She grabbed the bottle, opened it and poured herself a glass.

"Be sure not to drink too much. You might upset your stomach."

"Yes."

She planned to use it in helping her shove down the vegetables.

"Also, be sure to finish your food, especially the vegetables. Eat them like I showed you last night," Nathan said as he grabbed the pot of rice and started scooping from it.

"Yes."

"And always remember this: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day so don't ever skip it or eat less. Always eat a full breakfast. And given that you're a growing lady and we're in a zombie apocalypse, it's even more important."

"Okay."

***

A couple of minutes later…

Nathan was already done eating. He was drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette as he stared at Zita who was on the last spoon of her meal.

Right after she placed the food inside her mouth, she immediately grabbed her glass of chocolate milk and took a few sips to help her push the food down her throat and into her stomach.

"Ahh…" she said as she put down the glass.

Nathan smiled and shook his head.

"Mister, I'm done!" she said proudly and smiled.

He chuckled and then said, "Yeah, good job. Take a quick rest before washing your body -- Just your body, not hair, okay?"

"Okay~"

"Also, don't forget to do Lady Business #2. You've drank at least 3 glasses. That might upset your stomach. I'll also let you drink some medicine just in case."

"It's okay. I'm used to drinking bottles of chocolate milk."

"Eh…? Really?"

"Yes. Sometimes I would even drink 4 bottles of chocolate milk in one seating."

"Wow…"

Nathan was genuinely shocked because he was like most Asians who are lactose intolerant. Drinking more than two glasses of milk or chocolate in one sitting is a surefire way for him to upset his stomach and cause him to spend a few trips to the toilet.

"Well, if you say so. But just to be sure, rest for at least 30 minutes, okay?"

"Okay~" she said as she grabbed her plate.

"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of those things. Just rest in the living room or at your room."

"Okay~"

"Oh, I almost forgot."

He summoned a bottle of vitamins and gave it to her.

Zita received the bottle and read it.

"Take one tablet."

"Okay," she said before taking one tablet and leaving the kitchen.

***

30 minutes later…

Nathan was in the living room resting when Zita came to him.

She was carrying a towel and a new fresh set of clothes.

"Mister, there's no tissue paper…" she said in a low voice that it was almost inaudible.

"What?"

She held her head down and blushed as she said, "I said, there's no tissue paper at the toilet…"

"Huh? Why would you need tissue paper, kid?"

"Because…" she couldn't continue saying it.

First of all, there was no tissue paper to begin with inside the bathroom.

Nathan has never given her tissue papers except for the wet wipes inside her [Grade D] Spatial Bag and she has already used all of them for Lady Business #1.

Nathan thought about it for a moment and then said, "Oh! Oh, I forgot! Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

"..."

Nathan quickly got up and said, "Let me show you how to use the toilet here in Muwin."

Zita's face became even redder and she said, "I'm already almost 11 years old. I know how to use the toilet."

"No, no, no. We brown-skinned Asians have a different toilet. It's unique to the rest of the world because we don't normally use tissue."

"You don't use tissue?!"

Nathan scratched his nose and said, "It's easier if I just show you at the bathroom."

***

Ka-cha!

Nathan opened the door of the bathroom and entered.

Zita, on the other hand, was standing outside and confused.

The bathroom was narrow -- 4ft in width, 10ft in length and 8ft in height.

Behind the door, there were 4 hooks.

In the middle of the bathroom, there was a Western-style toilet seat that was facing to the right side of the wall. And on the wall where the toilet bowl is facing, there was a semi-spray hose hanging.

At the end of the bathroom, on the left side, there was a showerhead on top and a faucet at the bottom. And underneath the faucet, there was a basin with a dipper inside it.

And lastly, on the left side of the wall between the toilet seat and faucet, there was a 3-layered standing shower caddy where the soap, shampoo and other washing products were located.

"Come inside."

Zita cautiously stepped inside.

He scratched his nose and thought, 'Now how do I explain this without sounding and looking like a pervert?'

"Kid, just remember, ding-a-ling is your first hole and ding-a-lang is your second hole. Got it?"

"Okay…"

"Remember, this is a very important lesson. Many foreigners who came here without researching about brown-skinned Asian toilet etiquette have suffered from this."

"Okay..."

"Do you see those hooks hanging behind the door?"

Zita turned around to looked at hooks before turning back to Nathan and nodding.

"When you're going to do your ding-a-lang business, you first have to remove your pants/shorts/skirt and u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r and hang them on those hooks. If you can't reach them because of your height, you can always leave them outside. No one will judge you because you're a kid."

"Okay..."

"Okay, imagine I'm you and I've already removed my pants and u.n.d.e.r.w.e.a.r," he said and sat at the toilet seat. "I will seat here and do my business. After I'm done doing my business, I will pick up this hose with my right hand. Remember, always the right hand, okay?"

"Okay, mister."

He grabbed the semi-spray hose hanging on the right wall where the toilet bowl was facing.

"First, find a way to spray your ding-a-lang twice to wash away the 'excess' that's hanging ariund the outer layer of your ding-a-lang without having to get up. In my case, this is how I do it."

Still sitting at the toilet bowl, he spread his legs and then guided the hose between his legs and underneath his balls.

And of course, he didn't spray himself because he didn't want to get wet.

"After that, pick up the soap on the shower caddy with your left hand. Once you pick it up, spray your left hand with water and lather up."

On this part, he actually did the things he said.

Psssh!

Lather… Lather… Lather…

He returned the soap to the shower caddy.

"Once you're done lathering your left hand, you have to move forward from the toilet seat. Just give enough space behind you for your left hand to slip under so that you can lather the outer layer of your ding-a-lang. Remember, only the outer layer of your ding-a-lang."

He performed this part as well.

Well, half of it because he didn't touch his ding-a-lang with his left hand.

"And as you lather your ding-a-lang, you also spray water."

This time, he didn't spray water but he had the spray hose on his right hand behind him on top of his left hand.

"Again: Only the outer layer of your ding-a-lang."

Nathan would admit that he isn't really a good guy, but the last thing he wanted was to accidentally teach a kid about anal fingering.

He wouldn't know how to continue living with such shame.

"Okay, mister."

"Good. Once you're done. Repeat it. You have to do it at least twice. No one wants a dirty ding-a-lang."

"Okay."

He repeated the part where he lathered up his hands with soap and pretended to wash his ding-a-lang.

"Once you're done, return the spray hose and then wash your hands, especially your left hand. Be sure to wash your hands at least twice."

"And once you're done, you flush."

"Mister, what about wiping?"

"Wiping? No need to wipe."

"Why?"

"Why would you need to wipe? You just washed yourself with soap and water. And plus, it's just water."

"..."

"Anyways, after flushing, you can wear the clothes you hanged earlier on the hooks. And after wearing them, you open the door and then wash your hands again. Who knows what kind of germs you may have picked up from the flush handle and doorknob."

'There's more?' she thought.

Nathan smiled and said, "I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, this is a brown-skinned Asian country. We have all the water in the world and there's so much soap. There's really no need to worry about it."

'That's not what I was thinking,' she thought. "Okay, mister."

As a brown-skinned Asian mainlander, it's really hard for people like Nathan to go travel. In fact, as racist, ignorant and vain as this may sound, growing up, he honestly thought that everyone in the world washes the same.

It was during his time when he was taking Xudonian-language lessons when he started to realize that that wasn't the case.

One day, he came in a bit too early and there was another class still using the classroom where his class would be held so he decided to wait somewhere peacefully.

At the spot that he has chosen, a group of female foreigners from different nationalities arrived and started chatting with each other in Regisian.

The foreigners didn't notice him and thought they were alone.

Although Nathan didn't have any intention of eavesdropping, in his mind, he came there first so there was no way he was leaving. And plus, they were in his country so it's the foreigners who should adjust, not him.

And to his surprise, their topic was about how to use the Muwinian toilet.

It really caught him by surprise because never in a million years would he have thought that foreigners would question how Muwinians or brown-skinned Asian countries use the toilet.

He honestly thought that everyone in the world washes the same.

And so he listened.

All of them said that they've asked other foreigners they knew living or have lived here in Muwin and even the Muwinians that they knew.

But there was one foreigner that really caught his attention.

She was a white-skinned Asian and complained that she tried the Muwinian style for a week but then had to stop because she developed rashes.

As to why she developed rashes, Nathan isn't a dermatologist or something so he can't say with full confidence the real cause. But based on their conversation, never did they once mentioned soap. And as far as he could remember, they only mentioned water, tissue paper, tissue wipes, and one of the foreigners who suggested using a towel.

Nathan remembered being so confused and at the same time also torn apart.

He was torn between whether to go to them and explain how to use the toilet or not.

But of course, he didn't.

First of all, he wasn't a dermatologist or whatsoever.

What if the reason why they didn't mention soap was because it was just common sense?

But if foreigners really don't use water and soap, then how do they clean themselves then?

He was also confused about who were the Muwinians that these female foreigners asked.

Did they ask Muwinian trolls?

Or Muwinians who weren't born and raised here?

He also thought that maybe he was in a prank video so he looked around but couldn't find anyone filming.

And most importantly, he didn't want to lose face.

Even if he was a dermatologist and had the guts to go to them to teach them, no matter what logic he would use to justify his actions, he would still look like a pervert who likes to listen and join in private conversations of women.

His reputation was more important than educating them.

And then later that night, when he came home, he immediately began researching about the "toilet etiquette" of other countries.

And although the research made him realize that brown-skinned Asian countries had a different way of cleaning themselves, it led to his laptop showing him things that cannot be unseen.

Thank you internet search engine.

And the saddest thing of it all, there wasn't any clear-cut step-by-step guide of the toilet etiquette of brown-skinned Asian countries for foreigners.

"Remember the steps, okay? I'll leave now. Don't blame me if you'll get sick because you ate your own poop or get skin rashes," said Nathan.

Zita's face turned pale and she said, "Why would I eat my own poop?"

Nathan just smiled and left.

*********************************************

Author's thoughts:

Hello, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading!

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