51 Lose-Lose

Kyle's POV

I was lying on the hospital bed, beside Maya, when I felt her hand stroke my face. I thought I was dreaming but when I opened my eyes I collided with the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes I had ever seen.

"Good morning husband." She said softly as she continued to stare into my very soul.

"Uhmm, it's almost evening wife." I squinted at my Swiss watch and back at her.

"I know-it's just that you slept through the day. You haven't been sleeping much have you?" She gave me an accusing glare.

"Guilty." I covered my mouth as I yawned.

"Jamie came by but he didn't want to wake you." She brushed my hair back with her hand.

"I believe he was here to see you and not me. He landed a few days ago and has been here every since." I kissed the tip of her nose.

"He told me. When was the last time you shaved husband?" She scratched the stubble under my chin.

"Babe, I honestly can't remember. You like it?" I held her hand and kissed the inside of her palm.

"Yeah-I do. It's kind of sexy." She smiled.

"I missed you. I missed this." I stared at her intently.

"I'm sorry-I ruined a perfectly good honeymoon didn't I?" She mused.

"Babe don't apologize. It's not your fault okay? By the way-we're having twins." I watched her as her expression changed.

"What?? Oh my-What did you just say?" She widened her eyes in amazement.

"Did I stutter?" I laughed. "We're going to have two of us. How do you feel about that?"

"Well-I...wow.." She was at a loss for words.

"We can have one each?" I teased, my eyes twinkling.

"How did they miss it the first time?" She narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not sure but Dr Powell says we can have a 5D scan to confirm."

"Yes-I think we need to get it... I'm still in shock." She laughed.

"You're up for the challenge babe?" I cupped her cheek.

"It's not like I have much of a choice." She rolled her eyes.

"We will get help, I don't want you to die of exhaustion." I chuckled.

"I love you. You know that right?" She stared into my eyes and held my hand against her chest.

"Yes babe and-I love you..more than anything in this whole wide world..till eternity." I held her gaze.

"Dr Powell told me that at some point you will have to make a decision..I'm just over 24 weeks so there might be a chance for-" Her eyes dropped to our entwined hands.

"Babe, I-"

"Look, I'll understand if you don't choose me okay?" Her eyes darted around and she bit her bottom lip.

"Babe. Listen to me," I held her face,"I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but I will choose you.I will always choose you. Even if it costs me my life, I will still choose you above everything and everyone else."

She didn't say anything in response to my declaration, she just nestled her head against my chest.

"Do you hate me?" I held my breath.

"No. I could never-I understand okay?" She said.

"I'm sorry Maya."

Silence.

"It's not that I don't love our babies, I do. But I can't lose you babe. If I lose you then I'll lose myself."I could feel moisture on my shirt and I figured that Maya was crying.

"Maya, please don't cry. I know I'm a heartless, selfish beast but I can't do it.I would rather die first." I fought back tears but it was a futile effort.

"I can't go through life without you. I won't-I can't. Just thinking about it-" I choked.

"Hey-hey! What's all this? Why is everyone crying??" James walked over to the bed and looked down at us.

"Can you just give us a minute Jamie?" I grabbed a Kleenex from the night stand wiped Maya's tears.

"Sure. I'll be in the waiting room." James slowly backed out.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. We're going to be okay. We will get through this-together. Okay?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just a bit emotional right now, after everything that's happened...I'm sorry baby." She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself.

"Hey, stop apologizing okay? I shouldn't have said that, it was rather insensitive. I'm sorry." I held the bridge of my nose and exhaled.

"You were honest. I appreciate that." She bobbed her head.

"A bit to honest. I'm a monster- I'm sorry." I pulled her closer to me and kissed her forehead.

"An honest monster." She mumbled.

"So you so think I'm a monster?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No, no. I don't." We lapsed into silence.

"Can we not talk about this for now? Please?" I asked.

This conversation was making me uncomfortable.Fortunately,Dr Brandt and Dr Powell saved the day as they walked in.

"Good evening Kinleys" He beamed as he stood at the bedside.

"Hie Amaya, Kyle." Dr Powell nodded.

"Good evening. I hope you have good news." I slid of the bed and held Maya's hand.

"Well, she's awake-that's a good sign." Dr Brandt smiled.

"We would like to take you to do the scan and run a few other tests right now, if you're up for it that is." Dr Powell said.

"I'm sure I can manage." She said quietly.

"Okay, I'll get a nurse to bring a wheelchair and we will meet you there." She turned to Dr Brandt.

"You're making great progress so far but we need to just do a few more tests. If all goes well you might be able to go home tomorrow." He smiled.

"I like the sound of that doctor." She smiled back.

"Let me get Jamie, I'll be back to wheel you to the examination room."

I made my way to the waiting room and found an anxious James pacing up and down the room.

"Hey Jamie. You're ready to meet your nephew and niece or both?" I pulled his arm and dragged him back to Maya's private ward.

"Are you okay? What was that all about?" He asked.

"It's a long story dude. I'll fill you in later. But we are good now. Don't stress man." I patted his shoulder.

"Okay..if you say so-wait you're having twins?? I'm going to be a double-uncle??" James stopped and jumped up and down on excitement.

"Excited much?" I laughed as I shook my head.

"You must be over the moon. Congrats man!" He slapped me on the back as we got into the ward.

"Congrats baby mama." James ran over to Maya and hugged her. "I just heard the news." He gushed.

"Thanks Jamie. I just hope we all survive to see another day." Maya sighed.

"Of cos you will! No negativity. Good vibes only. Understood?" He pointed at her sternly.

"Yes Sir." She saluted.

"Now let's get you into the wheelchair so we can see our babies." I lifted her off the bed and put her on the wheelchair.

"I'm so excited guys! You have no idea." James went on.

"Hey make your own kids." I elbowed him in the ribs.

"This will be good practice." He winked at me.