Book 3: Chapter 108

“What is going on?” Alice asked and climbed to her feet. Bleats filled the air, and the ground shook from the sound. The trees trembled and leaves fell from their branches. Shivers ran down Alice’s spine, and she touched the tiny shield strapped to her wrist. It grew in size until it became a tower shield that she hid behind. She stood on her tiptoes and glanced over the top, peering into the dark woods. “Is it a herd of sheep?”

“It’s a herd of humanoid sheep,” Diamant said. His rocky face frowned. “Would that still be called a herd? What is a group of humans called anyway? A pack?”

“That doesn’t really matter right now,” Mr. Skelly said and drew his sword. His eye sockets seemed to glow in the dark. He picked up his helmet with his free hand and donned it, covering his face. “This reminds me of the good ol’ days.”

“You fought sheep-like men in the good ol’ days?” Alice asked, keeping her eyes on the forest. The bleating was getting louder, and the ground shook even harder. Red, wooly figures emerged, some of them carrying halberds. The ones that didn’t have weapons were carrying branches, and a few were holding stones. “And severely outnumbered at that?”

“Even worse! We fought men-like sheep,” Mr. Skelly said and laughed. “They were everywhere when we first arrived on that continent after fleeing from the worms. But it didn’t take long to wipe them out. All we needed were a few dogs to round them up.”

Alice braced herself against her shield and shoved forward. Bleats filled the air as the sheep-like men were bowled over. The sheepmen in the back tripped on the ones in the front, and a few were impaled by the halberds that were lying around. But the wave of sheepmen didn’t stop. Like a red avalanche, they trampled over their fallen and swarmed against Alice and Mr. Skelly. Alice grunted as she was shoved backwards, her feet digging fissures into the ground. “Someone wake Vur up!”

Diamant nudged Vur a couple of times before shrugging. Then he dissolved into motes of light that sank into Vur’s arm. The brown runes glowed with a bright light, and cracks spread out along the ground from Vur’s fingertips. They snaked past Alice and Mr. Skelly before widening, splitting the earth into a gaping maw that swallowed the front of the flood, bringing relief to the two holding it back.

“Wake up, Vur!” Zilphy said and pinched Vur’s cheeks. He grumbled a few times before rolling over. “There’s tons of sheep trying to kill us!” She hopped up and down before climbing onto his head. “Wake up. Wakey wakey.” There was still no response. Zilphy scratched her head. “Breakfast is ready?”

Vur’s eyes fluttered open. “Where? What time is it?”

Zilphy pointed at the sheep. “Right now, it’s eat-the-sheep-people o’clock.”

“I don’t eat people,” Vur said and snorted. He wiped away the line of drool leaking out of the corner of his mouth. “They taste bad.”

“They’re part sheep, so they’ll only taste partly bad,” Zilphy said. “And most importantly, they’re trying to kill us!”

Vur looked around. He frowned at Sheryl. “Why aren’t you doing anything?”

Sheryl shrugged. “I’m still injured from being shot in the butt by an arrow.”

“Oh.” Vur turned towards Mistle. “What about you?”

“If I help out Diamant, then I’m afraid this jealous witch will kill me while I’m not paying attention,” Mistle said, gesturing towards Zilphy.

Vur blinked at Zilphy. She shook her fist at Mistle before sticking her tongue out. “And you know it. So stay away from my husband, you adulteress.”

Vur grabbed Zilphy and Mistle, then he pressed them against each other, eliciting high-pitched squeals. “You two should stop fighting.”

“Hello!? Vur! A little help?” Alice shouted. “Where’s that portal that Tafel left behind for us to shout into?”

“It’s over there,” Vur said and pointed at a nearby patch between two rocks. He crouched over the portal and cleared his throat. “Tafel. Are you there? There’s some sheep things attacking us. Come back when you want.”

“You don’t sound very urgent!”

Vur snorted and stood up. “They’re just sheep,” he said, his voice lowering into a growl. His bones cracked, and his skin split apart as scales blossomed along his body. He grew in size, his neck elongating as his torso slumped down. “It doesn’t matter how many of them there are.”

It didn’t take long for Vur’s polymorph to finish, and when it did, he lumbered towards the wave of sheepmen. They stopped in their tracks and stared at him. The sheepmen at the front of the mob exchanged glances with each other while bleating a few times. They shrugged and pointed their weapons at the dragon before them and charged headfirst into a breath of white icicles that froze them into glistening, red statues.

“That’s a cheat,” Alice said, shifting her shield to the side to get a better view at the stunned sheepmen. The frozen statues were boiling from within and cracking apart. Bits of reddish ice fell off of them and onto the ground, leaving behind puddles of red water as the statues melted. The sheepmen standing behind their melting companions took a few steps back, their eyes fixated on Vur. He snorted and growled, and the wave of sheepmen moved back by another step in unison. Alice frowned. “But you’re right. These things really are pretty weak. What are they supposed to be anyways?” Her frown deepened. “And what are we going to do with all of them? Kill them?”

“What? No!” Mr. Skelly stepped forward. “That’s such a barbaric train of thought. Just because they wanted to kill us first doesn’t mean we have to kill them in return.” He cleared his non-existent throat and stepped towards the sheep-like men. “Baaa!”

Alice, Vur, and the sheepmen stared at Mr. Skelly. Alice swallowed. “You … can speak sheep?”

“No,” Mr. Skelly said. “But it was worth a shot.”

“Baa, you don’t have to, baa, worry. We, baaa, can speak normbaaly.” One sheepman stepped forward, his hands gripping his halberd to his chest. “Let’s, baa, discuss this like civilized, baaaa, beings.”