Chapter 18：I Crave You

"What?! Ann, he's a grown man. It's only been a month." My heart stings at every word. Only a month? It feels like forever.

"I know, but he's a wreck. Lee doesn't sleep or eat, he's thrown himself into his work." Ann looks me in the eye.

I try not to care by comparing his struggle to my own. When Tyler died no one could help. Grand-mere tried to understand my personal hell, but couldn't get through. Looking at his photo time to time only hurt when I was reminded that he left. Maybe seeing me would have a similar effect on Lee. A glimpse would ease the pain, but he'll only hurt more when I leave again.

In a way he might have it worse. I'm still alive, on the same plane and theoretically still attainable. Ah shit, I thought I was supposed to care less after this.

"Jen?" Ann looks at me with concern filled eyes.

"Who? Are you afraid of hurting him, or yourself?" The determination in her voice leaves me breathless.

"It's just not a good idea, okay?" I shuffle past her and my problems.

~*~

"Sorry Lee, but she won't budge." My sister gives me The Look from the other side of the screen.

"It's okay. Everything was my own selfish desire in the first place." I look away from her.

"She misses you too." Ann blurts out quickly.

"If only." A dark chuckle rumbles through my aching heart.

"Lee Cheng! Stop creating your own problems. Do you like her? If you do, don't let her go." This time Ann stares directly into my eyes with unrivaled earnestness.

"Of course I do! I can't close my eyes without seeing her. Any sleep I get is plagued by dreams of her. She's so close, but every time I open my eyes she's gone. I can't go into the kitchen without expecting her there, creating a ruckus loud enough to hear outside. In everything I do, I crave her." All of my pent up emotions flow out uncontrollably. I run my fingers through my hair harshly.

"What?" A farmiliar voice whispers. One that can only belong to a single person.

Jennifer stands behind Ann, hands trembling as she clutches a pink mug. She looks terrified, like the world had just ended.

"Jen!" I try getting her to stay, but her shaking figure races out of the frame.

Dammit! I want to chase after her, never letting her go again. If I did, she wouldn't forgive me in this lifetime. No matter how close I am, I'll never be able to reach her heart.