299 Don'st Give Up On Us!

It's his responsibility to make her feel alright. Make amends to her. He wanted so badly to bring back their sweet and happy moments together before that incident in the swimming pool took place. He and Catherine can't continue living in a cold and affectionless world especially now that they were anticipating the coming of their firstborn. He wanted to have more children with Catherine, he wanted to have at least three children with her in this lifetime. But now that dream has been tarnished by what he has done in that swimming pool one night. Like Catherine he was also trying to forget that bad memory, he and Catherine must forget that incident so that they can move on with their relationship for the sake of their baby.

She can no longer continue feigning her silence, she wants to lash out on something or anyone right now, she faced him and looked into his eyes directly. "I hate you!"

"I know, Cath. I hate myself too! But I can't keep torturing myself because of the mistake that I have done. I need to move on, we have to move on. Our lives don't end with that single mistake. People moved on from their mistakes and continue living, we both should do the same!"

"Easy for you to say that!" she grumbled.

"I know, please stop hating me, Cath. I begged you, give me another chance, let's live together, okay? I will replace those bad memories with happy and memorable ones," he insisted.

"I don't know if I can ever learn to forgive you and forget everything! It's so damn hard!" she cried in pain.

"But we can't continue living in pain like this. We have to move on, please don't give up on me! We have to try again before giving up everything that we had shared and built together! I want you to know that I will never give up on us! I will never give up on you!" his face was contorted with pain. "I love you so much, Cath!"

"Huh? You love me so much but yet you willingly sink your tongue on that woman's breast! You're a liar! A cheater!" she shouted at him, the anger that she was trying to suppress inside her heart was coming out in the open in full force.

"I was never a cheater to you, Cath! I didn't do any habitual cheating behind your back. That single incident only happens once! Yet, why do you keep labeling me a cheater? Why?" he was misty-eyed and deeply hurt.

The estranged lovers were looking into each other's eyes. Both have tears in their eyes. John's eyes were full of suffering and pain, while Catherine's eyes were full of anger.

John released a deep breath. Tonight was a waste of time. He went running to her side feeling optimistic that today they can somehow start a new phase in their lives. The night started nice but ended so badly. It seemed they were both struggling how to adjust to their scattered emotion.

It's indeed very hard for two-person to meet in the middle when one is trying to move on while the other one was still stuck in the painful memory refusing to let go. Their conflict will only keep running round in a circle and no clear breakthrough to the positive side.

"Okay, I got it, Cath! You will never be able to forgive me. I'm trying to help you out of your miseries but you aren't helping yourself. How can I help you then? How can I share your burden if you won't let me help you?" there was a sign of resignation in his voice. He was hurting because Catherine was refusing to give him a second chance. He finds it very hard to see her eyes full of pain. He can't stand the hatred flashing from her eyes every time their eyes meet. In her eyes, he looks so dirty and a horrible cheater.

She turned her head and stared at the wall, with full intention to ignore him. She was no longer talking nor looking at him.

She kept to herself and already shutting his presence out from her consciousness.

When John tried to touch her arm to make her see his face, she swatted his hands away, as if she can't bear his touch.

John released a deep sigh. He got it! She doesn't want to be touch, their time is over. He slowly gets out of the bed to exit the room.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed him getting out of the bed and hesitantly heading towards the door. She saw his defeated shoulder. He was also suffering deep inside, just like her. They were suffering both, and it's kind of making her feel a bit happy to see him suffering as well.

"I will go now, Cath. I don't know when I will be back...maybe...we need a long separation from each other, I think that is what we needed right now," he said with a look of resignation in his eyes. His hands were gripping the doorknob handle ready to go out and disappear from her life for several weeks.

Their eyes meet for the last time.