Chapter 37 - Hard To Tame My Heart

Megan's POV

"Megan, I know you are afraid to face our fellow students, especially those who were at Lauren's place that night. But I want to remind you that you have done nothing wrong to them, and Lauren was the reason why you are having a hard time now. Don't be afraid of them, Meg. I will be right beside you, and I guess you also have your friends to back you up. Trust me, okay?" Zach declared, and the truth is I am not afraid to face them as of the moment because I am more fearful of how I am going to meet Ashton.

"It is easy for you to say, Zach," I said as I let out a soft sigh, and I can tell everyone is waiting for me to come out, and I can tell the girls are now ready to mock me anytime.

"I know, Meg, but I know that you are strong, and you can face them with your head high. And I want to ask you don't watch on social media." He said, and I turned my head, and I looked at him confused.

"Why? Well, I don't have time to browse on social media, so you don't need to worry because I haven't seen what is trending nowadays." I replied, and I can't stop myself from trembling because I can tell Zach is telling me this because it involved me.

"Hmm, someone took a video when Lauren pushed you on the swimming pool, but they edited the video because it looks like you were out of balance, and we don't know yet who posted your video online, and it goes viral now." He said, and I know it, and I became more humiliated.

"But don't worry, Meg, even if it has a captioned "The Clumsy Maid," many commented you are the hot and beautiful type of a maid. And I think they are going to take it down because I can tell the reason they posted that video is to embarrass and ridicule you. Still, almost everyone who viewed the video did the opposite by complimenting your natural beauty, and only the friends of Lauren made you look like a fool. So, for me, that video is awesome, but it made Ashton so angry with Lauren's friends." He said, and the moment he mentioned Ashton's name, I couldn't stop myself from glancing in his direction, and I saw he was fidgeting, and I can tell he was also anxious to see me.

"Wow! I couldn't believe making Ashton my boyfriend for a short time will make me a celebrity, and my life has become chaotic ever since. I know it from the very start that I should not associate myself with the most popular guy on campus because I have to deal with the consequences, but my heart won't listen to my logic, and this is what I get." I replied as I leaned back on the car seat.

"But I think kissing Ashton is all worth it, Megan, and I can tell he is really into you," Oscar said.

"Yes, that is true; everyone dreams of becoming his girlfriend, so I think being his girlfriend would be worth all the chaos." Alice seconded while I heard Zach chuckled, and I couldn't believe my friends would betray me this time, and I want to banter with them, but my nervousness made me shut my mouth. 

"Meg, we need to get out now. I need to meet my friends," Ava said, and I realized I couldn't stay in Zach's car forever.

"Okay, let us get out and get over this. Thank you, Zach; you don't need to go with me to the library, all I am asking you is to please refrain your best friend from getting close to me today because I am not yet ready to talk with him, and I think it is better if we pretend we don't know each other. I want to have a peaceful day." I said, and Zach shook his head as he glanced at me.

"I will try to stop him today, Megan, but you know Ashton, I can't guarantee if he will listen to me, and I know I don't have any right to meddle with your personal life, but as Ashton's best friend, I could tell he is having a hard time now, and I think you are the only one who can help him, Megan, at least give him chance to explain his side," Zach said.

"It is too late Zach, he could have told me about it before he courted me, and I don't know if I can trust him ever again. Thank you, Zach, for everything." I said, and I opened the car door and jumped on my feet, and I didn't turn to look at Ashton. I bowed down my head as I walked away from the parking lot when I felt Alice linked her arm with mine, and I smiled at her, and Oscar walked beside me while I know Ava is running towards the direction of her classroom, and I am so tempted to look back when I heard Ashton's voice calling my name.

"Not now, Ashton!" I heard Zach's voice, and I felt glad Ashton listened to him because we arrived at the library with no more complications.

"Megan, you can't hide from Ashton, and I think it is better to face him than trying to avoid him," Alice said, and we are talking in hushed voices.

"Alice, you were there. You witnessed how those girls laughed at me. He hurt me, and I don't think talking with him will erase his mistake against me, and it is better this way. I don't need to talk with him. I wish he will stop communicating with me like before he became my boyfriend. In that way, I can move on with my life." I said, and I can see the worries on Alice's face.

"Are you sure about that, Megan? As your friends, we don't want you to have regrets in the end. We want you to be happy." Oscar said.

"Look, guys, thank you so much for your concern about me, but to be honest, I like Ashton. I still do, even if he hurt me and made me a laughingstock among his elite friends, but my family is at stake here. No matter how I wanted to date Ashton Pritzgold, I just can't. We are living in two different worlds, and you both know that. I know I cannot force the things that couldn't be because I will only end up with a broken heart. Look what happened to me now? I am in too much pain." I said, and they both looked at me with sad faces.

"Hey, you don't need to look at me that way. I am good," I said, and they both weakly smiled at me.

I asked my friends to walk slowly in going to our first period because I don't want to see Ashton. I told them we should wait for our teacher to come inside our room before we get inside so that Ashton can't talk with me, and the moment our teacher arrived, we followed him, and I keep my head on the floor, and I couldn't believe Ashton is already sitting on the chair next to mine. 

I sat down on my chair with trembling legs, and my friends were right. I couldn't hide away from him. I didn't turn in his direction, and I can see him out of the corner of my eye; he was staring at me the entire time.

"Megan, you need to relax if you don't want to talk to me. I understand; I am just asking you to give me a chance to talk to you. I am begging you, please," Ashton whispered in my ear. That made my entire body felt so alive, and I can feel my skin has goosebumps, and his proximity is making me feel so weak. And I hate myself that I couldn't stop myself from feeling so thrilled, and his masculine scent made me lose my sense of thinking, and I couldn't concentrate listening to our teacher. 

I need to control my emotions and show Ashton that he can never play with my heart again. And I need to stay away from him because I know once I get close to him, especially if he is going to kiss me, all my resolve will melt at once. I need to focus because I don't want to be like my brother, and I should end things with Ashton, and the only way to do it is to talk with him.

I get a piece of paper, and I write down the date, time, and place where I will talk with him. I am not sure what will happen with my conversation with Ashton, but I need to speak with him, so I can move on with my life, even if it is so hard for me because I can tell right now, I want to lean closer to him, and hold hands with him. I miss his text messages, and I hate that I deleted all his text messages before I can read them because I am afraid I will get swayed.

I know at this very moment, I can't trust my heart yet to face Ashton; that is why I chose to talk with him this coming Wednesday.. The moment I handed Ashton the piece of paper, I can see the beautiful smile on his handsome face when he read my note, and it made me realized when it comes to Ashton, it would be so hard to tame my heart.