Chapter 45 - Enduring The Pain

Megan's POV

"Hey, Megan, what is wrong?" I heard Dexter's voice behind me, and then I felt him hold my waist as he helped me get up on my feet. Ashton has been long gone, and I didn't know how long I stayed weeping on the ground, and I felt so glad. None of our neighbors have seen me in my current state. Then my brother faced me, and he dried my tears away by using his handkerchief.

"Can you tell me why you are crying here outside our house like a child? You don't need to get down on the ground, Meg, for heaven's sake." Dexter said as I was trying to control myself before I spoke to him. I didn't expect my brother would find me looking so lost.

"I didn't know it would be painful as this, Dexter. I am in too much pain right now. I tried my best to look strong, and I hate myself for being so weak. I decided to break up with Ashton, but why I felt this way? It feels like someone pulled out my heart from my chest." I said, and my brother's face fell, and then without saying a word, he pulled me closer to him, and he caressed my back, and I cried even harder.

"Megan, I am sorry that you have to feel this way, sometimes making the right decision could be so painful that we thought we were making the wrong one, but believe me, Meg, everything will be alright. And I know the pain will not go away right away, but I want you to know I am so proud of you for doing the right thing. You are in pain now, and I know there are no words good enough to alleviate the pain that you feel. But I want to remind you, I will always be here for you." My brother said as I continued to weep, and I realized if I made the right choice, why it felt so wrong.

"But the misery his father will inflict to you would be more painful, so I think it is better you ended things with Ashton while it was still early. It would be best if you weren't like me, Megan. It was already too late for me to regain myself. I am in love with Isabelle, and I think there is nothing I can do to make things better between us." He said, and I felt sorry for my brother again, and I want to tell him, I am feeling the same way, and I don't think I can forget Ashton Priztgold that quickly, and I know it would take time, or maybe I can never get over with him.

"I know that is why I broke up with him," I replied, and my brother dragged me to walk with him into our house.

"You need to go to your room now, Meg. You have class tomorrow, and I know what you are feeling right now, but you need to be strong, Megan. 

"Thank you, Dexter, and good night," I said to my brother, and I walked straight to my room, and I saw my sister already peacefully sleeping on her bed. I can't stop myself from smiling, and I wish Ava would never experience the same heartache I am having right now, Dexter already suffered, and now I have the same pain. I tried to answer my assignments, but I couldn't concentrate, and I knew it was because I missed Ashton so much, and I felt so guilty that I broke up with him even if I knew that I was crazy in love with him. It was unfair to his side and me, but I needed to do it for both of us before his father could break us and make us stop believing in love.

I closed my books and notes, and I decided to answer my homework tomorrow. After all, I know it would be useless because I can't concentrate, and I can't answer them, knowing Ashton occupied my thoughts. I found it so hard to sleep that when I got up the following morning, my entire body felt so heavy, especially my eyes, and I could feel the back pains. I quickly showered and informed my sister I would go ahead of her. I walked to the bus stop alone, and I smiled when I found my best friend waiting for the bus as well.

"Hi, Megan! What is wrong with you, Meg? Who made you cry the other night, don't tell me you already did it?" My best friend asked me, and I slowly nodded my head at her, and she hugged me.

"Oh, I am sorry, Megan, you should never break up with Ashton if you look this miserable. It would be best to get a grip, Meg, or else he will know you are having a hard time. It was your choice to break up with him, so you better look in high spirits and not be this unhappy." Alice said, and I couldn't disagree with her because I knew my best friend had a point.

"Yeah, you are right, Alice; I need to do this," I said, and I smiled at her. We rode the bus without talking to each other, and the moment we walked at the entrance of the Academy, we found Oscar waiting for us. We walked together to the library, and I spent my remaining hour answering all my assignments.

I couldn't stop my heart from pounding against my chest the moment we got inside our classroom, and I felt the pang on my chest when I found Ashton talking with Lauren at the back of our classroom. And I know I should never felt jealous because it was me who broke up with him, and not the other way around. I hate that my eyes searched the entire classroom because I couldn't stop myself from longing to see him. And even if my heart is aching, I don't have a choice but to listen to our teacher as he discussed our lesson because I didn't have the time to review my lessons for the day.

I felt glad that our class was over, and I quickly put my books in my bag, and I ran from our classroom, and I didn't try to look back at Ashton once again, if he is planning to date Lauren again, all I need to do is accept the reality, even if it will break me. As Dexter said, sometimes we need to do the right thing even if we get hurt along the way, and I hope Ashton will not hurt me more by dating Lauren again.

The entire day passed quickly, and I knew Ashton was avoiding me; and he never looked at me again like he used to, and I could tell he was back to the old Ashton. The one who enjoyed the attention of girls because I can see him with his teammates having fun with with the girls on the hallways, and even inside our classroom before our teacher arrived, and even if I avoided the cafeteria, I knew that he was back hanging out with Lauren and her friends because Alice showed me Lauren's post. I don't know if they are back together, but I can tell he is happy being with them.

The entire week passed, and I congratulated myself that I was able to endure the pain. I still cried at night when Ava was already asleep. I am back to being the old Megan again, except that I never wear my old wardrobes ever since I dated Ashton. The girls ignored me, and I felt glad about it, but I am sad that Ashton stays away from me. We never talked again, and the boys will always say hi to me when they are not with my ex-boyfriend, and I wonder why when they all know we already broke up.

It was the most horrible week of my entire life. And I am just glad I enjoyed my work after class because I will temporarily forget about my heart problem every time I feed the fish on the tanks.

"Megan, aren't you planning to go home?" Anthony asked me, and I smiled when I looked at my watch, and I realized it was time for me to go home.

"Are you alright, Meg?" He asked, and I nodded my head.

"Yes, I am okay, Anthony," I said, and I said goodbye to him, and I walked going to our house.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Megan?" Alice asked me as we waited for Aunt Sonia to come and drive us to Lauren's place.

"Of course, I don't want Aunt Sonia to think I am choosy. Besides, she already paid us in advance." I replied.

"We can return the payment, Megan," Alice responded.

"We are professional with regards to our part-time work, Alice. I don't want to taint the reputation of aunt Sonia. I know I need to endure three more Saturdays in Lauren's mansion, but I am no longer afraid of what she will do with me because I have nothing to lose, now, Alice. And I need to do this to pay the bills." I said, and she smiled at me.

"Of course, but you don't need to worry. I will never leave you this time, and if you need to jump in the swimming pool again, I will be jumping with you." My best friend said, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"Wow, I miss your laughter, Meg, and I hope you will be laughing again." She said, and I felt guilty that I became miserable like this after I broke up with Ashton.

"Don't worry, Al, I will try to be more energetic," I said, and I smiled when I saw Aunt Sonia's car pulled into our driveway.

We were silent the entire ride, and the moment we got inside the mansion, the housekeeper in charge of the female servants met us, and I felt glad it wasn't Lauren. And I realized she left the house early because of the football game today. And I suddenly felt nervous if she would have another party tonight.. We clean the house together with the maids, and I know the only reason Lauren hired us is that she wants to show to my face the reality that I am not worthy of Ashton's love and attention.