Chapter 112 - Can’t Forgive Him

Megan's POV

"You could have said yes, Megan. For heaven's sake, it was only a football ball." Alice barked at me after I tucked my son on his bed. I am just glad I have a good son. He never cried when I said no to his request, but I could see the disappointed look on Axel's face, and I hated myself for saying no to him when my best friend had been right, it was only a ball, but how could I quickly said no to my son.

"I know, and I felt so bad about what I have done to Axel, and I hated myself that after so many years, I still hated Ashton this much. He broke my heart, and until now, I don't even know how to pick up the broken pieces, Al." I replied, and I could tell the way; Alice smirked at me, she had something to say, but she tried her best to keep it to herself.

"What? I know that look, Alice; after so many years of being together, crying, and laughing together, I know what you are thinking right now, even if you will not say it on my face." I declared, and she laughed.

"Well, since you are so confident enough that you can read my mind, then allow me to tell you what is on my mind, and I think this would be a long night, and a bottle of red will complete our night." She responded as she handed me the wine glass. We were on the house's terrace, and I smiled as I looked up at the starry night, and I could feel the chilly night air.

"Bring it on, Al," I said as I smiled at my best friend, but I couldn't stop feeling so nervous because I knew what she was about to say. And I think after eight years, I am now ready to talk about it.

"Don't get angry with me because I am going to tell you anyway what is in my heart and mind right now. You can't deny that you acted that way because even though you are still mad at your ex, you can't deny to me, Megan, that you are still in love with him. Even if eight years had passed, you didn't give yourself a chance to date with anyone." Alice said, and I wanted to protest, but she raised her hand to stop me, so I let her continue her speech.

"There are a lot of guys who tried to court you, but you immediately turned them down even before they can lay their cards, and you don't give them a chance to prove their worth. You said you are happy with your life now, even if your smile doesn't reach your ears." Alice added.

"Do you think I didn't know you cried every time you heard and saw the news on the TV about Ashton and his latest flings? For the past four years, even if you pretended you didn't care about him, I have seen you in the middle of the night watching a replay of his game, and you were crying your heart out." Alice said, and I could feel my cheeks turn bright red.

"I knew the reason why you got so wasted the last time you attended a birthday party of one of our friends, it was because of Ashton's confirmation about his relationship with the heiress of the airline company in the country, and do you think I didn't know why you treat me to a spa the last time Ashton broke up with his model girlfriend?" Alice continued, and I swear I wanted to cut her tongue right now because what she said was all true.

"And do you think I didn't know the real reason why you bought that boxing bag in the gym that you were punching until late at night? And you ended crawling on the floor gym cursing Ashton's name when he got engaged to his latest socialite girlfriend?" She asked, and I could no longer keep my tears from falling.

"I wanted to tell you to stop and beg you to tell me everything, but you tried to look so strong, and every time I tried to mention his name, you acted like you didn't know him. For heaven's sake, Megan, it has been eight years, and I think it is about time to stop bottling up your pains and share them with me. You can always cry on my shoulder, and you know that." Alice said, and for the first time, I cried so hard in front of my best friend.

"Do you think I am that pathetic, Alice?" I asked, and my best friend shook her head.

"No, you are not pathetic, Meg. I hate that after Ashton became a professional football player, you started acting weird because his love life came out to the open. He is always on the tabloid with different beautiful women. And since then, you have tried to hide all the pain you feel inside. Even for how many times Gael told you, what you see about celebrities in the news are not all true, that is why he kept his love life a secret, and I think his secret love is you." Alice added, and even if I was crying, I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"Are you crazy? Of all the things you said, that is the only one that is not true. I don't think Gael has feelings for me, Alice. If he has, he could have told me within the eight years that I have him in my life." I replied, and my best just shrugged her shoulders.

"And back to Ashton, how come you didn't tell me you knew all along?" I asked my best friend, and she looked at me in the eyes and smiled at me.

"You told me once, what you have left is your pride, and you pretended to be alright in front of everyone, and I can't take that away from you, but I think I need to intervene now since it has been a long time. You need to find your happiness; Meg and Axel are the ones affected by your love life." Alice responded.

"How can you get angry with a football ball? What if your son loves football? Are you going to be like Gregory Pritzgold?" Alice asked, and I slowly shook my head.

"Of course not; that is the least I want for Axel. I want to support him in everything he wants, and if he wants to play football, I have to support him, and I need to embrace that he got that from his dad. It is in his blood." I replied.

"Well, that is better. I don't want my godson to experience what your ex had been through." Alice replied, and I nodded at her.

"And have you heard the latest news?" My best friend asked, and I shook my head.

"I am not excited to hear any news, Alice; besides, it will only make me feel sad," I said because even if I tried not to watch the news, especially about sports, I couldn't stop my curiosity. I always ended up reading the information late at night, and Alice was right. Every time I read a column about my ex, I couldn't help but cry. And now I don't even know why I am crying, maybe because I didn't give myself enough time to embrace the pain, and I didn't get the chance to mend my broken heart. 

"Well, I think you will feel happy about this news because you will stop hearing about his name because Ashton quit football," Alice said, and I am surprised, and no wonder I haven't heard about him lately.

"Just in case you want to know the reason, he said to one of his interviews due to personal reasons, and I think you should start packing now, maybe he knows he had a son, and he wanted to search the entire country for you and Axel," Alice said. Her words terrified me, but I know Zachary will never tell him about my child.

"Don't make that kind of joke, Alice," I replied.

"Why? Are you afraid he will show up one day and introduce himself to Axel?" She asked, and I became speechless.

"I don't think you are that kind of person Megan, I am sure you are willing to sacrifice yourself just to make your son happy, and I am certain the moment Axel will ask you about his father, you are not going to deny him the truth, and you will allow your son to experience how it feels to have a father." My best friend said, and Alice's words got me to the bone.

"Wow, I hope Axel will ask about his father when he is already forty years old. I am sure that time you already get over with Ashton." She said and laughed hard as she poured my glass with more wine.

"How about you? Are you going to stay single for the rest of your life?" I asked, and she shook her head.

"Of course not; I am not like you who is so crazy about your first love. But sad to say, I am not like you either; men will go crazy over you, while I find hard to date this time because of limited supplies of men." She said, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"Thank you, Alice, for making me release the pain that I bottled up inside my heart, and right now I could tell, it is time to end my misery, and I think I should date, and give those guys a chance maybe who knows one of them could be my Mr. Right," I replied, and she looked at me with a broad smile on her face.

"Yes, and this time I know you are getting yourself ready for the time your son will ask you who his father is because you are afraid to face Ashton alone, knowing he already has a fiancee," Alice said, and I am stunned about her words, how could she read what am I thinking? 

"Are you my best friend or a fortune-teller?" I asked, and she laughed, and this time I laughed with her.

I couldn't deny I felt a pang on my chest as I remembered his latest engagement to a beautiful businessman's daughter, and I hated Ashton more.. How can he enjoy his life through all the years when he abandoned his children and me? And that is why I can't forgive him.