Chapter 133 - Decision

Megan's POV

I wouldn't say I liked the idea that Ashton Pritzgold was inside my property, and worst he was teaching my son the basics about football. I admit my brother could be right when he told me there is a possibility that Axel wanted to play football because of him and not because of Axel's father. But right now, as I watched them passing the ball back and forth to each other, I can't deny to myself that my son got his interest in playing football from his father, and I can't deny, Axel was having fun while he was listening to his dad's every word.

I was still on the front porch watching them while I was still clutching the paper bag with my right hand, and I hated myself that I still remember the sparks that I felt when Ashton touched my wrist, and I can still feel the tingling sensation from his touch. I should clarify with Ashton that he is not welcome here anymore because I know once I allow him to come and visit my son any time he wants, my life will never be the same again.

I wonder what is inside the paper bag, but I don't want to look at it because I am afraid if I can't deny to him that Axel is his son. I know it was a big mistake to tell Ashton that Gael was the father of my little boy. I know it would be unfair to Gael, but I am sure he would love to tell Ashton that Axel is our son, and it would make him so happy because he begged me to take his family name before I gave birth to my son.

And as of the moment, I don't think I want to take back what I have told Ashton because there is no way he can prove that Axel was his son unless we have a paternity test. I am still angry with him, and I don't think it is time for him to know the truth. But I can't ignore tha laughter of my son, and even if I wanted to beg Ashton to leave now, I can't do that to my little boy. I am her mother, and it would break my heart to see him sad, especially now that Gael got so busy with work.

I couldn't even believe that after meeting Ashton at the mall for the first time after eight years, I was able to write one whole song with complete lyrics. I could tell Gael would love the melody, but it means I had to hurt his feelings once again when he realized the song was for Ashton.

And I couldn't deny I dedicated all the songs I have written for my ex. Gael knew even if I didn't have communication with Ashton for a long time, I was able to compose songs for him, and he didn't complain. Still, I could see the pain every time he reads my new music, but he couldn't do anything about it since he was earning a decent amount of money because of my songs.

"Wow! You are fantastic, Axel!" I heard Ashton yell on the ground, and when I raised my head, my son was running to him, and he hugged Ashton for telling him he is a fast learner.

"It is time for breakfast, Megan," Clara said, and I looked at her worriedly.

"Don't worry, Megan, you are doing great, and I think you will survive one breakfast with your ex; even if I could tell no woman can resist his charm, he is indeed so handsome in person, no wonder a lot of celebrities got broken-hearted," Clara responded. I realized she understood what I was trying to tell her by just looking at the expression on my face.

"I don't want to invite Ashton to have breakfast with us, but since he arrived so early, I assume he doesn't have any breakfast yet, and I know it would be rude if I asked him to leave while he was making my son so happy," I declared, and Clara gave me a beautiful smile. And I told her that we would be having breakfast on the porch since there was no way I would allow Ashton to get inside my house.

"Please tell the kitchen staff to bring the food here on the front porch because we will eat here outside," I said to Clara.

"That would be lovely, Megan." She replied before she got back inside the house, and it was too tempting to open the paper bag, but my mind kept reminding me not to do so, so I put it aside on the nearby chair while I opened the email I received from Alice. It was about the inclusions of our three-day retreat, and I was smiling as I read the package; I realized it was interesting after all, and I know my best friend was aware I needed this retreat to relax my mind and enjoy nature.

Alice knew I needed this weekend getaway. I smiled when I realized we would have some meditation with resident masters who have decades of mediation experience. We will have some swimming in the nearby spring, and just reading about it made me feel excited already.

And there are many activities we can participate in, and I was smiling like an idiot because I couldn't contain my excitement. I was still reading my email when I suddenly felt someone was looking at me, and when I raised my head, I found Ashton looking at me with great intensity that made my entire body feel so weak.

"Where is Axel?" I asked while the smile on my lips turned into a grimace since I didn't want him to keep looking at me that way because I couldn't deny he was igniting something in me. I don't need to feel this emotion because it would be so wrong knowing he is getting married to her beautiful and wealthy fiancee.

"Megan, you will always be beautiful, especially when you are smiling, and I hate that every time you look at me, you need to shift your personality from being so happy to being angry. I know you have the right to hate me and get angry with me, but please, I came in peace. And I am here willing to do whatever punishment you want, say it, and I will do it for you. All I want is to ask your forgiveness, Megan." He said, and I could feel that Ashton was serious with his words.

"Are you sure? You will do whatever I ask you to do?" I asked, and he nodded his head at me.

"I can't say if I can forgive you, Ashton; you don't know how much I suffered after you broke up with me that day. It was so easy for you to decide that our relationship was over, and you told me you were so at peace knowing I am no longer part of your damn good life." I said, and his face turned pale.

"Meg, if I could only turn back time.." He said and trailed off.

"What, Ashton? I tell you what, you can never turn back time, and you can never take back what you have said. It will be forever in my memory, and it will take magic before you can make all the pain and anguish I felt disappeared. Do you know that even hearing your name pained me and can cause me too much agony?" I said, and he moved closer to me, but I stopped him by raising my hand at him.

"Don't just stay where you are Ashton, all I want to know is if you mean every damn word you say that you are willing to do whatever I will ask you to do," I said.

"Of course, you can ask me anything, Megan, and I will do it in a heartbeat except one thing." He replied, and I couldn't stop raising my eyebrow, and I half laughed.

"Wow, you have the guts to ask some exception when you ask me to forgive you; you don't have any right to demand even a single request Ashton," I said as I could feel the anger inside me, and I am trying my best to control my emotions, and this is the part of the day will I usually smile as I face the sunrise. Still, right now, I couldn't stop myself from feeling so unhappy as I remember the pains and the injuries he had inflicted on me.

"Megan, you can ask me anything except one thing, and that is to stop loving you. You might call me crazy, but I still love you; please don't ask me something I know I couldn't do." He said, and I was taken aback by his words since I didn't expect him to tell me that he was still in love with me, and I became angrier as I realized how could he say he loves me when he is getting married.

"How dare you tell me that now, it was too late for you, Ashton, and if you want my forgiveness, my rule is simple, stop making my life a living hell. I want you to disappear because I don't want to see you ever again, and if you do that, maybe I can forgive you." I said, and his face fell, and before he could reply, Axel came with a chessboard in his hand.

Ashton smiled genuinely at our son, and I am impressed by how fast he could change his expression for the sake of Axel.. And I wonder if I made the right decision, but I know if I give him another chance, he will shatter my heart once again, and I need to do this, and I have to be strong for both Axel and me.