165 'sMy's

It was late at night when Tony's car stopped at the porch of his house. All the windows were already dark, except for the kitchen. Anthony did not doubt that mom was still awake. And as he suspected, Natalia was still in the kitchen, bending over the dough from which she must have been planning to bake fresh buns in the morning for kids.

As soon as the woman heard the footsteps behind her, she immediately turned around and opened her mouth to scold once again the naughty son of hers, who again forgot to call. But noticing the strange look in his eyes, Natalia cut herself short and frowned.

"What's the matter, dear?" - She asked anxiously, groping for a towel and hastily cleaning her hands from the flour.

" Mom, I have one request for you." - As if making himself squeeze those words out, said Anthony, fishing a flat box from the inside pocket of his jacket. From the already open box, he took a vial and handed it to his mother. - "Drink this. For me. Not for the sake of anyone else, but for me."

Natalia looked blankly, first at the vial, and then at her son. But as soon as her heart grasped something in the boy's gaze that only parents could see, the woman no longer hesitating or asking questions, took Anthony's bottle and emptied it with one sip.

"Satisfied?" - She asked with displeasure, putting an empty vial on the table. Tony nodded silently, and his lips stretched in a sad smile.

"Thank you." - He said quietly and then handed the box to her. - "Here is the letter. For you. He said you would understand everything. At first, I did not want to give it to you, but ... Now I owe him twice. Therefore, decide how to deal with this letter on your own."

After saying this, Tony left the box on the table and silently exited the room.

Natalie's heart squeezed with a bad premonition. Uncertainly, she stretched out her hand and picked up a piece of paper by the very edge. The letter was all crumpled as if it had been folded and unfolded many times. It seems that someone even tried to throw it away but apparently did not dare in the end.

The woman carefully opened the sheet and froze, instantly recognizing the handwriting. This damn neat calligraphic handwriting! But on the first line, the letters began to blur in her eyes. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Heck! What's wrong with you?! You have never been so weak! "- she scolded herself, and taking a deep breath, plunged into reading.

The word "My" at the very beginning was crossed out several times, then it was written anew and crossed again. This made the woman chuckle.

As a result, the letter began simply:

"Natalia!

Perhaps these lines will be read not only by you but also by your son. Therefore, I am not going to empty my soul here, although you know me, I would not do that anyway. I know he is a smart boy and will do the right thing. But I still want to ask you again. Take my last gift.

You have always been a proud woman, strong, unshakable and beautiful. So very beautiful!

The jokes of the moon are sometimes very cruel. Every night she whispered to me, about the one who could make my heart beat again and at the same time tore the remnants of my soul into pieces and threw it into the abyss. Because I always knew that you would not be mine. Thoughts of you destroyed me every night and made me rise every morning. Often I lied to myself and others that my main goals were other people and their happiness. But deep in my soul I always knew that everything I was doing, I was doing with your name on my lips.

Once you said that in spite of all the sins that your husband committed, the fact that he did it in your name obliges you to keep him in your memory. That is why I disappeared then. I do not want you to remember me. Your beautiful heart already is soiled by one sinner. I will keep my sins for myself. I want you just to live and be happy.

I knew about your illness from the very beginning. Maybe you will not understand, but I was always there, felt your pain, saw you cry quietly at night, while no one could notice. I wanted to be there, hold your hand when you went to the doctors alone and hid your pills from children, pretending that you are fine. But I knew that I could not help you like this. I couldn't save you.

I paid for this vial a lot. Not with money but with my soul. I am writing this so that you will accept it no matter what. If you do this, then we are even. After all, it will take away not only your pain but also mine ...

Always yours,

Ian. "

And at the bottom, in small, subtle letters, in clumsy handwriting in which it was difficult to recognize the hand of this man, was written:

" My heart will always beat only for you. I am so happy that you are just a human and you will not feel how it will cease. "

Natalia pressed a letter to her chest and could no longer hold back tears. They ran across the face, falling off the chins and dripping onto crumpled paper.

"Stupid, stupid fool!" - She whispered through the sobs. - "I always knew you were there."And how should I live now when you are leaving?"

She gently stroked the tabletop, an amazing cherry colored stone with sparks of black in it. When Tony chose a new home for them, they went over a bunch of options. But Anthony wanted everything to be perfect. The realtor almost gave up when she received a sudden call. Entering this kitchen, walking through the rooms Natalia immediately understood everything. It was a house built for her and her family. And only one person knew her so well ...

" Don't go ..." - she whispered, hugging herself by the shoulders, feeling like her always cozy and warm kitchen suddenly become cold and empty.

***

A tall man walked along the beach, kicking up the warm sand. Palms rustled around, tousled by the warm breeze and that brought the smell of exotic flowers. But his gaze was not here, and his face was empty. Suddenly he stopped, clutching at his chest. His eternally impenetrable expression scattered, and his eyes glittered. He sat down on the sand and fixed his gaze somewhere far away, where the sun was about to sink into the water.

"Don't cry, my love." - He whispered, clutching his shirt on his chest into a fist. - "I am not worth even a single tear of yours. Just forget me like a bad dream."

He closed his eyes and, as he did a million times before, tried to scrape together in his soul all the warmth that he could find, mentally guiding it to that piece of heart that always belonged to her. Feeling the pain receding, he relaxed and opened his eyes to watch the last rays of the sun, drowning in the ocean. Palm trees swayed over his head again.

Suddenly, a wild roar from the depths of the jungle broke the silence. The mad howling started to come from many sides and was getting louder. But the man did not even flinch, continuing to watch the sunset.

"Greg, you f*cker!" - He said quietly, and for the first time in a long time, sincerely laughed.