Chapter 51 - Acceptance 1

The cicadas stopped chirping a while ago. Staring at the floor wrapped in the black blanket, it took Wonho a while before finally realizing how silent the room is.

It is really calm. There is nobody else besides himself. No alphas trying to get him, no anxiety-provoking thoughts that stressed him. He is alone, alas.

Looking around, he finally notices the disastrous interior of the room courtesy of himself. He should clean up. He is safe enough to move around the house anyway. Minwoo said he won't have another wave that quickly.

Making the bed, he places the brown digital clock back on the bedside table, right below the lamp. No numbers are displayed much to his horror. The alpha will most likely throw a tantrum if he finds out that Wonho broke it! Hitting the clock as hard as he can a few times, Wonho can finally breathe easy once he sees some numbers on the screen. Whether the time is right, he doesn't know and cannot care less.

Scanning the room, he grins to himself. The room is almost in perfect condition, so he decides to clean elsewhere. He did went all crazy this morning… Stepping out of the room, his eyes almost jumped out of the sockets; besides the kitchen which the owner probably cleaned lightly while they were eating, everywhere else are of course, hit by hurricane Seo. No wonder Minwoo was in such a bad mood this morning.

Wonho sighs. Making the mess is simple, cleaning it is another thing. He doesn't even remember where the alpha placed each of his stuff. Should he just randomly rearrange them and tell Minwoo later?

That is the best option right now.

Deciding just to go with it, he starts by putting the books in place first before moving to the couch. At least, with the living room clean, the whole apartment looks better.

Next, kitchen. The place he rarely goes to. Where should he place all these spices? There are so many spices… In the cupboard? Cupboard seems logical. He spilled some stuff on the floor too. He should clean those.

Sitting down to pick up a few big bits of unknown ingredients, he stiffens at the cold sensation at his bottom. The boxers are wet and it feels uncomfortable, disgusting to say the least. He stands back up, ignoring the spill, but that doesn't help either.

The coldness is still there. The fabric is stuck to his skin causing discomfort, but he is too repulsed to even pull it.

This is bad, he feels sick to the stomach from the thought of the fluid flowing out from him. Goosebumps are all over his body, his skin is starting to itch. Itchy. His neck, his arms, his chest, everywhere is itchy.

This cannot happen now.

Not yet. It is still too early.

Wonho looks at the wall clock, ignoring the urge to scratch himself. It is already past noon. Minwoo will be back by noon so he could well be on his way home. He needs to take care of this heat before the alpha arrives.

His jaws are tensed from the sudden emotional breakdown he is about to have but Wonho refuses to give in. Running to the room to look for the black bag Minwoo left him last night, he spills out the contents before leaning against the wall in devastation, his knees suddenly too weak to support himself.

This is his new reality, having to stuff these things inside himself so he can free himself from the heat. It is either this, or have another person touch him. He doesn't want any of that.

He doesn't want to have his heat. He doesn't want the fucking uterus. He doesn't want to wet himself like a child and cry for help like a pathetic human being. He was fine being a beta!

Frowning deeply, he stands up and makes his way to the bathroom. There is a bathtub he can use to calm himself down. Submerging himself in water always work, he will feel clean and he won't feel the fluid to mind it. This is great.

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Wonho's body is starting to shrivel indicating just how long he has been in the water. Too long and yet, the alpha still hasn't appeared yet. Is he really been left alone? Until his heat is over? Does he really have to touch himself?

No. He will never do that. Never.

Minwoo said he will take him to the omega house where there are people to help him. He doesn't know how and is uncomfortable just thinking about it, but anything is better that having to do that to himself. That is… downgrading.

Shit. He is starting to tear up. He needs to lean his head upwards. Minwoo is really late.

Did he leave him? Is Minwoo that angry he finally gave up on him and leave?

No, he wouldn't. But…

…Minwoo promised he would be back but it already so late. Did Minwoo leave him because he refused to sleep with him? But he allowed the man to use his fingers…

He doesn't know why he is thinking all these stuffs. He doesn't know why he is so scared being left alone when that is what he always wanted - to be free from any alpha's presence. He doesn't know why he is okay with Minwoo being here with him.

No, he wants the alpha to be here with him. He just knows that Minwoo listens to him. Minwoo didn't force him to do anything he didn't want. Minwoo protected him from all the other alphas. He is safe with Minwoo.

But the man left him. It is his fault. He hit the alpha and called him names. He messed up his home and used his phone without permission. He was being an emotional egoistic mess. Minwoo hates him.

'Don't leave me…' He mutters between his breaths. He is sobbing really hard right now and there is nothing he can do to stop it. He couldn't find the pills which was in the drawers last night. Submerging himself in the water does nothing to help either.

It is suffocating. Everything is suffocating him. He wants someone to be there with him. To say everything is going to be alright.

He misses Junjie. He misses Haneul. He misses Jinyoung. His mother.

Black dots are starting to blind him. He has to inhale through his mouth, but the air won't enter his lungs. He needs to stay conscious…

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