Chapter 68 - The Brief Happiness 4

Probably sensing the already dark ambience, Haneul continues, 'I always had trust issues, you know. It's just a matter of time before the doctor gave that condition a fancy name. And since it had been affecting my cycle lately, the doctor suggested doing things like this to reassure me about his loyalty or whatever it is that caused it.'

Haneul places his hand on the brown bandage and smiles to himself, thankful that his own mate would always comply with his ridiculous requests, despite knowing his extreme anxiety. 

On the other side, Wonho continues not making a sound. Everything is so hard to process, what more with him being new to this world. He knows that trust comes with the bond – bonded person will automatically trust their lives with their mates, and he knows that the feeling is even stronger than love.

A bond is stronger than love; which is why the authorities need to help separate mates once they decide to break their bond. Those are the words of both his therapists. Which is why it is confusing for him, to learn that Haneul has trust issues with his own bonded mate. 

No, it scares him to learn that Haneul's mental issues are stronger than the trust between mates. That it is a problem that even exceeds the guaranteed secured feeling and blind trust which comes with having a mate. The mate that he chose, the mate that he fell in love with.

And here, Wonho thought his life will get back to normal as long as his unwanted bond is broken. When he should really be afraid of his own psychological condition.

'What about you? Anything you want to tell me?' The older omega attempts to change the subject, reading the tensed atmosphere. Wonho is, however, caught off-guard by the sudden question and jumps a bit.

Something he wants to tell the older? What can that be? Wonho can only assume it is about his heat. Haneul probably caught on his 'gastritis' being his uterus development and his absence last week as his actual heat. Haneul would know the signs since he is, a male omega himself. 

'I uh… had my first heat.'

There is no respond so Wonho presumes Haneul wants him to elaborate. 

'I uhh…' he hesitates. He doesn't know what he should say. He doesn't want to tell Haneul about Minwoo but then, how else is he supposed to explain how he got through the week?

'You don't have to tell me if you don't want to…'

'No, I…' Wonho catches his breath. He doesn't have to say anything but he wants to. Because there are a lot of questions he wants to ask but doesn't know where to start, 'You were right. It was hard and confusing, I felt so weak and-'

'Wono…' 

'-desperate and-'

'Hey.' Haneul interrupts him and Wonho realizes he is actually recalling the night of his attack instead of his first heat. Because the feeling he felt was so, so similar; the hopelessness and fear he felt before understanding what was happening to him, before Minwoo stepped in. Wiping his wet cheeks, not sure when he started to tear, he turns to his side to look at the older alpha, the light outside the window bright enough for him to see the man's face.

Haneul is already facing him.

'Do you also feel like that? Every time you get your heat?'

'No… It's different for me because of what happened but I know you're not supposed to feel like that.' Wonho nods and turns back towards the ceiling. He knows that is not how he should feel because other people never mentioned fear in the forums he accessed.

But, he doesn't want to be the only one feeling like this. He wants the comfort of knowing someone out there understands him but of course, that is too much to ask. His condition is a curse he never wish to befall others. 

'It gets better with time… Other emotions will replace the bad ones. I was the same but I met someone good, and you'll do to. You'll get through this.'

Wonho nods again, wishing that day will come sooner. At least, he can already see the light at the end of the tunnel. He was fine being with Minwoo so that means he is already halfway down his road to recovery. He went from scared motionless around alphas to spending his heat with one. 

'I'm fine now. Really.' He states, hoping it will lessen the worry he sensed in the older.

'You don't have to pretend you're okay…'

'I know.' Wonho smiles and places his hand on the neck-protector he received from the giant alpha. 'At least the bond's broken. I can focus solely on accepting my change from now.'

That is a huge step because he will no longer feel the emptiness and desperation for someone anymore. The nights of supposed intense longing for the stranger whom is his attacker, gone. Most of all, his body will no longer feel the need to search for his mate by emitting stronger scents. 

He will no longer feel the need to submit to something, the need to be obedient, the need for approval in every decision he make. Those feelings which came with the bond will now be gone. He is now a free omega.

'Wono-yah… you-'

Wonho sees Haneul sitting up from the corner of his eyes and turns his face back to the latter. That sudden action really worries him. 'What?'

Haneul doesn't answer him right away. Instead, he takes his time rearranging his words, trying to find the best way to convey his thoughts. He looks really serious and again, Wonho feels uneasy. Somehow, he has been feeling so the moment he met the alphas and Haneul two days ago.

The glances which they are quick to hide and the worried tone they used to check up on him when they did… It was as if they wanted to ask him something but somehow could not. 

After what feels like hours, Haneul finally starts, 'I don't know if you did this on purpose or-'

Wonho suddenly tenses up. 'Are you-? Did you meet any familiar alpha lately?'

Now the latter is really uncomfortable. He recognizes this tone. It is the exact same tone Sangcheol used that night when he asked Wonho if he could smell both the alphas. He doesn't have fond memories of it. He already hates the question. This situation. 'Familiar?'

'From that night…'

That surprises him and Wonho sits up to match the older. Did Junjie told him about his encounters? Or was Haneul only shooting in the dark? 'Why did you ask?'

'You…'

'Haneul-hyung. Just tell me. I don't like you beating around the bush.'

'Wono…' Haneul takes a really deep breath, exhales, and Wonho mirrors him. He knows it is not going to be good.

'Your bond is not broken.'