Chapter 71 - Wake Up Call 2

Wonho looks back at Haneul who smiles back at him to encourage the younger. He has no idea what to do in the room since the other two are busy talking among themselves about memories they share that Wonho is not a part of. Since he already finished staring at all the decorations and cannot drink the tea to distract himself longer, he is already bored. Too bored he is trying really hard not to yawn and stretch right there and then. 

'Ahjusshi, can we go to our room first? Wonho had a long day so he is a bit tired.' It was a simple statement but Wonho is so thankful to Haneul for noticing. He manages to catch the momentary sad look on the elder's face as he nods to Haneul. 

'Sure. Of course. Go to your room now. Come down whenever you want. The schedule's on the board as usual. You know the drill.' The man pats Wonho's shoulder, squeezing them lightly and shows them the door.

Wonho looks around building - the main building opposite them is where all activities are held every day, and the smaller building they are in is the accommodations for those who needs help. Just like their dormitory back in campus, the place is really quiet minus the sounds of children playing in the garden. He also cannot help but notice all the security cameras placed in almost every corner. As expected from an omega house. 

Too busy turning his head around, Wonho bumps onto the older omega who is now unlocking an old-looking door. As soon as he enters the small room with a single bed, he notices the pictures of young Haneul in a few frames placed on the small desk. 

'Well. This is my room. Wait here, I'll go get a mattress from the store.'

'Okay' Wonho puts his bag on the floor and takes a seat on a wooden chair. The room is really small, even smaller than their dorm rooms. There is the bed, a small cupboard, mini desk, the chair he is sitting on, and side table. Even his own room back at home is bigger than this. To think that Haneul spent almost six years in the room before entering university is just… impressive, in a way. 

The door opens and Haneul sets the mattress down with the covers. 'They still have a few empty rooms you know. You sure you wanna sleep here?'

'I won't be able to get out of bed if I go to another room. Are you okay with me here though?'

'Sure.' Haneul pats his shoulders and proceeds to unpack his stuff into his cupboard. It is still filled and decorated, as if he never left the room in the first place. 

'You… still come here often?' Wonho asks, curious.

'It's the only place I have to return to…' The older male sits on the bed and takes out a book from beneath his bed, flipping it and laughing once in a while. 

'I'll move out completely next year once we find a good place. Finally. After ten years in this small room… our dorms feel like a luxury!' He laughs lightly, not expecting the other to do the same. There is a hint of sadness in it, from the thought of leaving his safe haven for good. 'By the way, like ahjusshi said, the therapists and consultants also live here. They work in shifts so you can go meet them anytime you want… If you want.'

'I'll think about it.' Already beneath the cover, lying on the slightly hard surface, Wonho turns to his side to face the wall. 'Hyung? Did you tell him?'

'No. Why?'

'Nothing.' Wonho hears Haneul hums, and some shuffling as he continues to unpack some stuffs from plastic bags. 

'Ahjusshi's been here a long time you know. He's seen and heard a lot of things. He can know things just by observing.'

He just knows…That is somewhat unsettling to hear. What about the staffs here? Can they read people like a book too? How many people here that they passed through today knows about him? Do they only know about his marking? Or about his violators too?

Tucking himself further into the blanket, Wonho tries to close his eyes. Suddenly, he doesn't want to be here anymore. 

'You okay?' Wonho refuses to answer. He wants to sleep and run away. Hearing a sigh from behind, he decides it is okay to put down his defenses and tries to rest for real. He couldn't sleep at all these past few nights, his nightmares had started to haunt him again, this time worse than before. The sleeping pills helped him the first few hours but the effect didn't last as long as they did when he first took them a year ago, and he would still end up waking in sweat and tears. 

'And Wonho…?' He waits for a reply which never came. Haneul notices the lack of movement. But, considering it is still too fast for the man to be fully asleep, it is obvious Wonho can still hear him. He just doesn't want to respond. 

'There are lots of programs for people like us. You are free to join if you want. You're not alone here.'

Wonho lets out a long breath. Opening his eyes and staring at the white wall, he suddenly feels sick to his stomach.

People like them… This place is filled with people like them. He thought he would be relieved to hear that, but he isn't. It is disturbing. Because he saw people of all ages here. He saw children. There are many children. 

Haneul grew up here too. 

No, it didn't bring him any comfort at all. It is messed up. 

Being here really messes with his head. He just suddenly got this crazy thought that he is lucky. Because he didn't end up here after that night. Because he is able to return back home to his parents. Because he wasn't left alone and helpless.

It never occurred to him how lucky he was. And he doesn't want to think of himself like that. He was good with thinking that he got the worst of them all. He was good with being the poor victim gang-raped, claimed and left for dead. He was okay with hating himself.

He is not okay with thinking that he was lucky. Because those things don't happen to lucky people. Lucky people get to live their lives as beta. Lucky people get to hang out with their friends whenever they want. Lucky people get sleep at night. They get to go wherever they want without fearing for their lives. Without fearing that their mates might find them. 

He is not lucky. But he feels he is. And that is messed up. Because he feels as if he is better than the people here when he should not. 

Being here is messing with his mind. He feels sick.