Chapter 153 - Family Ties (2)

*WARNING: mentioning of abuse. Read at your discretion.*

«There's something I'm not clear about yet,» I say. «You chose the late King's mistresses, and you were disillusioned about marriage. A lover more or less didn't change the overall count. So, why do you hate my husband so much?»

I move Aestas on my right thigh so that she can play undisturbed with my dress when she's done with her cookie.

«It's not about the count,» the Queen Dowager chuckles. «It's about status. I was the one approving and selecting the King's mistresses.»

Oh, that's true. But is it really enough to explain it?

«A man is a man,» I say, using her same words. «Why were you so surprised he didn't respect the boundaries you set?»

«It was a deal between the two of us,» she starts. «As long as we both upheld our sides, we were equal. Partners. I gave him a son and promised a second one in a few years. Meanwhile, he said he wouldn't leave any bastard to be on our children's way.»

Is that so? Is that the only reason?

«I selected appropriate ladies, and he told me his preferences. I was the one taking care of his nightly schedule, and I made sure that the women used precautions to avoid pregnancies. I knew they would do anything to avoid it, so I had extra measures for every possible trick they could think of. It worked well for the first two years... Three, maybe. But then, the balance was broken.»

She stares at the table, wondering about how much to tell me. She resumes looking me in the eye after a whole minute, and she smiles bitterly.

«Do you want to know the truth? The untold story I haven't spoken about? There were only two people knowing it, and one is dead now. I thought I would bring it with me to the grave, but why not tell a half-commoner busybody?»

I nod, ignoring the part about being a busybody. I'm doing this because I was investigating dangerous things. Then, after stumbling upon her story, I became curious about her real face and decided to ask her. I won't press her if she decides not to talk, though.

It will be the last time I ask. If she doesn't talk, I'll just forget and treat her like a crazy and evil woman for the rest of our life together.

«One day, the late King didn't respect our pact. He slept with a maid with red hair and skin white like snow. She was of a different beauty than everyone else in the Palace; she had the typical accent of the northern lands. She wasn't noble, and she barely knew how to read and write. She had caught the King's attention, but I didn't accept it. Among the few rules I had set, there was one very clear and unbreakable: no commoners allowed. The King could choose any noble maiden or wed lady in this court. As long as he didn't sleep with the help, I wouldn't have stopped him.»

So, it is like that: Ignis's mother was a commoner. That's the sin the Queen couldn't forgive.

«That's when I realised,» she sighs. «I realised I wasn't a peer, a partner... I was just another pawn for that man. He didn't find anything wrong in breaking his word. Because he gave his word to me, and I was not relevant enough to keep promises. That's how Kings work.»

She shuts for a few seconds, and I believe the story is over. It's understandable, though. Ignis's mother made her realise that she didn't weigh anything. It's not nice to find out, all of a sudden, that someone was doing as you said out of... what? Pity? Condescension?

I would be heartbroken, as well, if I found out someone was just pretending to be my partner, that they fulfilled my requests just because it was easier than not.

«Since that moment, I haven't slept in the King's bed again.»

Oh, this is interesting. The story isn't over.

«I avoided spending too much time with him, and I arranged his nightly schedule just like before. After a few months, he understood he made a mistake.»

She's scratching her hand while talking as if there was something wrong with it.

«But it was too late. The maid was pregnant, and she gave birth to a son. A bastard son, yet the second in line to the throne. The King offered to have another son so that he could be the second and your husband just third and, by consequence, not a threat anymore.»

So, did they make peace? I have so many questions, but I don't want to interrupt her talk. I fear she'll shut up if I do, and this time I'm sure she won't restart talking.

«But I really didn't want to sleep with him anymore,» she sighed. «I couldn't accept to share a husband with a maid.»

She seems to have regained some regality, and she moves a lock of hair, the only one out of place. I bet she left it free just for this purpose because the rest, every single strand of hair, is perfectly nestled in the bun.

«We spent around ten years pretending to be married. I would avoid him during the night and appear in the morning to take care of the women. It didn't feel too bad, all in all. Once I got used to my position, and once accepted it, my life was peaceful. I didn't feel any obligation towards him, and I didn't feel guilty for not giving him the second son I had promised. After all, he already had a spare heir.»

This doesn't feel like it'll become a funny story. Something deep in my stomach is yelling at me to stop listening. To avert my attention, bring the child out, and stop the Queen from revealing the source of her ache.

«At some point, the King was so determined to win me back. I don't know why... He just decided that I was a prey for him to conquer... Or maybe he got tired of sleeping around. I really don't know. He thought that, if there was no more spare heir, I would have accepted to have a second son. I wouldn't have been able to reject him, in that case.»

Wait, is there a rule about that? I won't be able to reject the King until we have two sons? Oh, not bad, not bad... I hope Ignis and I have many, many girls.

It's not the time to let my thoughts fly! I shall focus and show my best side to the Queen. She's talking about her traumas, after all. To her, this rule didn't look so good and nice when the King used it for his gain and against her.

«One day, he tried poisoning the bas... The King. Unfortunately, the maid drank the poison and died from it. The child had a fever for a few days, and when he woke up, the funeral was over.»

Yes, this is exactly as I thought.

«I convinced the King to send him away to avoid other attempts. I said I didn't feel well... But the King refused. He said his son would stay with him and that he wouldn't fail another time.»

The Queen swallows, and she takes a deep breath as if the worst part is coming now.

«I couldn't do anything back then. I was weak and held no power, just like now. My name meant nothing, and it was even forbidden to use. All I had was my stubbornness, but it wasn't enough.»

Her eyes fill with tears while I freeze in place. I should have sent Aestas back, for goodness. She doesn't need to listen to all of this, even if she's too young to understand.

The Queen looks at me. Her eyes are two piercing pins, reaching straight to my stomach. It hurts, looking at her in this moment.

«Men are like that,» she says. And she shrugs as if it was allowed for us Queens. As if we could afford to move our shoulders. «And the late King was a man just like any other.»

«That's how Gratia was born,» I say, my tone low and careful. I don't want to hurt her even more.

I feel sorry, a little guilty for the interrogation, and so angry at that dead man who's turning into nothingness in some cold grave. How could he do that to his wife? How could he be forceful with her?

Moreover, she gave birth to a daughter after that... It must have been painful for her.

«I used the pregnancy as an excuse, and he followed my wishes. His child went south and spent a couple of years in Count Falco's residence. I gave birth to a daughter, not a son, so the King wasn't as pleased with it. Not that it had any importance.»

She's back to her normal self. I think this is the end of her part of the story.. And, honestly, I'm not keen to inquire any further.