Chapter 20

C/W: a slight non-con

‘How does one man able to have such strong mental power and the ability to reject his desire? And there is no way that my body will ever be precious anymore.’

Lu let out a dejected laugh as she recalled Carr’s last words before the man disappeared outside. Truthfully, it is not that she didn’t like him. He was just an unknown mercenary that stayed by Senia’s side, rejected her body, and managed to say words that stabbed her right in her heart. It was the first time that she met a man like that.

As the atmosphere in the tavern was still in disarray after the little commotion, Lu could hear small footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Excuse me… what’s with all the commotions?”

Senia, who had been worried about leaving Lu and Carr alone, had been hanging around in the hallway on the second floor. She was worried that Lu would find out about Carr’s identity.

Looking around the lounge with a puzzled look, Senia quickly approached Lu who was standing still next to shattered glass on the table.

“Saint Lu? What happened? Where is Sir Carr? You’re not hurt, are you?”

Senia checked on the other woman thoroughly, she sighs in relief when she found that there was not a scratch found on her. But then it didn’t explain whose blood was on the table.

As soon as her mind reached the most likely answer, Senia’s face hardened and made her way to the door but Lu quickly grabbed her hand, trying to stop her.

“W-Wait! Don’t! You don’t want to go after him!”

“What? What are you talking about?”

Lu, who used to lie to save her own life, could not do so this time. Perhaps it was her conscience or because she was concerned for Senia’s safety, but she couldn’t hide the truth from Senia.

“…I… g-gave him some drug….”

Lu struggled to utter the word while her heart was pounding fast against her chest. Senia waited for her to continue, not pushing her to explain herself which only made Lu feel even more guilty about the situation.

“It’s a medicine that I used to carry around. It won’t last long because it’s just a small dose, but you shouldn’t approach him. He’s probably losing all his control right now.”

Lu averted her eyes from Senia, not brave enough to look into those clear blue eyes.

“Why did you feed that to Sir Carr?”

It was a natural question to ask and Lu didn’t hesitate to raise her head and finally states her true reason,

“Because I need to make him leave your side!”

“Pardon?”

“Even if the resurrection of the Holy Lady is right around the corner, why does someone like you have to be around with a man like him? He is not a priest but just a common mercenary! It doesn’t make any sense. It’s because you are someone special to me! I did that for you!”

Lu never thought that the first time she would show her gratitude and all her feelings to the person she admired would be this ugly outburst. She believed that Senia would understand and accepted the situation. If Senia who once had offered to give her virginity to soothe Lu’s anger, she would be able to understand why she did go to this extreme.

However, it was just Lu’s perfect illusion of Senia.

The calm and clear blue eyes, almost imitating a deep lake, were fixed on Lu and she couldn’t help but shuddered when she heard the chilling voice coming from Senia.

“Once upon a time, I tried to offer my body to appease Lady Lu’s anger and sadness. I thought that it would be of great service to relieve the saint’s paint with my body.”

Senia took a deep breath before she continued. Her facial expression and tone remained unchanged, but Lu could tell she was angry,

“So please don’t use me as an excuse to justify the actions that you did out of your own volition. Sir Carr is the person who helps me recover my divinity. It’s ridiculous to say that you are trying to get rid of him for me. I’ll go find Sir Carr, so please apologize to him if we meet again.”

Senia’s arm fell out of Lu’s hand. The small gesture was no different as Senia stabbing Lu right in her weakness. Even if in the past that Senia offered to give her virginity to someone for her satisfaction – the fact remained unchanged that Senia had saved Lu that night. However, right now what she thought she was doing – saving Senia, she was different from what Senia had done to her all those years ago.

“Right.”

Lu understood why Senia was always so honourable, unlike any other saints. Even without the voice of God guiding her, she always made sacrifices to satisfy herself, not for others. From the very beginning, they were different, Lu acted selfishly while making excuses that it was done for others while Senia was not.

“….Right, I won’t meddle anymore. If he comes, I’ll ask for his forgiveness.”

Lu, who had been silent for a while, finally admitting to her mistake,

“But please don’t go right now, as I said earlier, it’s dangerous.”

“I’ve never left a sick person unattended because it was dangerous.”

There was no wavering in her voice and Lu couldn’t help but click her tongue. Senia was indeed this kind of woman, she never cared about her safety.

Lu let out a deep sigh, which Senia took as resignation before she rushed out to follow after Carr. She was the only person who knew that Carr couldn’t be cure by divine power which made her worried more for him.

Once outside, Senia went around, calling out for his name but of course, there was no response. And at that moment, Senia blamed the deal Carr had made upon his capturing – even if he able to hear her, he wouldn’t be able to answer her. There was also the fact that Carr was someone who wouldn’t express if he were in pain.

“I don’t think he’s that far away…”

She wandered around the empty alleyway behind the inn a few more times before she finally spotted Carr, who was unable to move due to the fever. Under the moonlight, it almost looked like Carr was dumped by buckets of cold water. The sweat on the tip of his hair already makes a puddle of water on the dark street.

“Sir Carr.”

Senia called his name anxiously but then she stopped when her eyes met Carr’s. The brown eyes, which seemed to tell her not to approach, contained hostility that she had never seen before. It almost mimicked those of predators.

“Well… Are you all right? I’ve heard from Lady Lu.”

Carr groaned, touching his forehead in pain, at the sound of Senia’s voice. Senia quickly noticed how his hand was covered in blood and her heart felt like it was sinking. She carefully approached Carr again and took his bloody hand.

“I was told that the effect will be gone soon, so I’ll wait with you.”

Senia’s voice trembled slightly as she tried to rub Carr’s blood with the hem of her white robe cuffs,

“We can go back inside, and I will treat the wound. Ah, seriously, why is this happening….”

Senia was trying not to cry at the sight of the injured hand that she couldn’t finish her sentence. Carr, upon seeing her expression, lifted Senia’s face with his other hand pressed his lips against her. Despite how many times they become one, Senia couldn’t help but be surprised.

Senia pushed Carr’s chest slightly. There was resistance from Carr, but it wasn’t strong. Once they pulled apart slightly, she could see Carr’s brown eyes turned all hazy, different than before. She knew what’s the effects of the drugs, but she couldn’t get a sense of how powerful it was until she saw Carr now.

“Ah….”

The drug was different than a regular aphrodisiac, this one was more about breaking down someone’s power of reasoning more quickly. It put the victim in a position to protest or fight against it. Senia smiled bitterly at that and carefully reached out for Carr.

The kiss was more careful and sweeter than before. It was because this time it was Senia who lead the kiss, not Carr.

“I’ll give you my body whenever you want. So, you don’t have to worry about the side effect of the drugs or anything else. That’s my duty right now and…. I know how soft and gentle you normally are when you held me.”

Senia muttered the words between kisses against Carr’s lips.