CHAPTER 535: MR POINTY

—Mo Ke

As the ominously spewing black aura Duanma Bitong slowly closed in on me, I could literally hear my death date nearing… Noooo… I just woke up barely an hour ago… I still haven’t got to get a good look at this world… Quick. I must think quickly… Some way of escaping from this danger…

Argghhh! I can’t think of anything, my head is still an empty mess of a potato!!!

Duanmu Bitong raised her knife up high, edge glistening in the light of the overhead lamps as she aimed it towards me.

“Since Ke would rather have a taste of Mr. Pointy than marry me… then… then… I will feel sorry about losing Ke but… Ke, it’s time to say hello to Mr. Pointy!”

Seeing that soulless look in her eyes and a decidedly pointy knife in her hand, I finally understood the meaning of mortal danger…I have to fight back. If that knife stabs me, I’m done for, so I have to fight back!

The knife came swinging down an instant, it’s target: my throat… you’re actually trying to make me eat it?!

With no time left to hesitate, I reached out and grabbed her wrist, gently twisting it before disarming her of that knife. However, the moment I took the knife from her… Strange… Why does it smell so sweet?

“This is?”

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The situation being as extraordinary as it was left no room for guessing at all. I leaned over to get a good sniff of Mr. Pointy -it was really fragrant!

“That’s a Mala-flavoured chocolate replica, I bought it off the internet when Ke was still unconscious, tehee~~” Having lost Mr. Pointy, Duanmu Bitong finally deactivated her blackened state and reverted back to that jovial but slightly dense girl who loved to tease me. “Your sister Bitong could never bear to hurt her Ke. Ke still doesn’t have any memories yet so he can’t fulfill that childhood promise, but a promise is a promise… so, Ke, have a taste of Mr. Pointy.”

“…”

What the heck is a Mala-flavoured chocolate replica? That mouthful needs to be dissected for a second. Mala and chocolate, both have to be thoroughly analyzed.

(Munch)

That taste… maybe I should let her stab me with a real knife instead… Yeah, that would be a whole lot better!!

Seeing me struggle with the chocolate as I would if it were a knife, she couldn’t help but giggle a little. Then, with a sigh, she grabbed the chocolate knife from my hands and viciously took a bite of the chocolate from where I last bit it… her face scrunched up immediately. Clearly, even she wasn’t a match for Mr. Pointy. However, she bravely swallowed it down then said, “I know Ke hates this kind of flavor, so just leave the rest to me.”

“…”

I’m sorry that I’ve forgotten about you. Even though I still don’t get what marriage means, but as long as you’re willing to try, I’m willing to give our life together a shot…

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“How about I finish the rest instead.” I took the half-eaten chocolate back from her, and under her disbelieving eyes, shoved the remaining chocolate into my mouth. Bearing with that chokingly strange taste slowly filling my mouth, I managed to say, “didn’t you say so yourself? A promise is a promise. Even if I’ve forgotten about it already, I’ll still eat it if that’s what you want.”

“Ke…” In that instant, I could see her eyes begin to water up. She covered her mouth with her hands, as if she was about to cry, but I knew that she was probably trying to stifle a laugh.

I ignored her and continued forcing down that strange food.

“Ke… that’s where I ate it from…”

Oh? And what’s wrong with that? It’s going to taste disgusting anyway, and if I eat it, she doesn’t have to suffer it.

Seeing that I had no reaction to that, Duanmu Bitong gave me a shy thump on the chest then lowered her blushing face.

Now that the chocolate was dealt with, the both of us returned to the table for more coffee. I still hated that chocolate though. How should I describe it? Well. Either way, I hated that sort of sweet yet spicy flavor.

I gulped down the coffee, barely washing down that displeasting taste in my mouth, while Duanmu Bitong just sat quietly opposite me, stirring her coffee, neither drinking nor speaking.

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What a strange fellow… I don’t remember her being so affected even when she was feeding me coffee. Anyway, I should just change the topic for now, otherwise this will just get more awkward by the minute.

“About that… so why…”

“Because of that anime we watched when we were young.” Maybe we really had some kind of telepathic link, but before I even finished my question, she had already guessed what I was thinking. She stopped stirring her coffee then put on that same old cheeky grin that she had before. “Back when we were young, we watched an anime called Brother Cheng Died Really Young. The main character in that story was a playboy, who because of his constant flirting, ended up being stabbed to death by the female lead with a knife, and then had his head chopped off.”

“…”

I just knew Mr. Pointy was dangerous… but that explains the whole promise just now… probably…

“How about we talk about something else instead…”

“Okay. I know Ke has forgotten a lot of things about his past, but does he remember anything at all? Like the beautiful girl next door, the beautiful junior from his school, or the well-endowed service staff at the convenience store, or the cute waitress at the nearby coffee shop, or that female character from the game he used to play, or that female lead in that anime…”

While she blasted off that string of questions, her expression remained largely unchanged, but I could tell that she was waiting for a certain answer. I had no way of guessing what that answer was exactly, but after giving it some thought, I decided to give her the truth.

“Other than my name, I really can’t remember anything else.”

I really only had my name left. Basic terms like toilet, holographic movie and what not were all foreign to me. I was a complete blank slate.

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“Is that so.” Duanmu Bitong breathed a sigh of relief and immediately smiled for reasons unknown.

Really, there’s just something off about that smile of hers. Just as I thought that however, Duanmu Bitong suddenly got excited again. “If that’s the case, how about I go dig up that anime, Brother Cheng Died Really Young, we can watch it again.”

Seeing her smile so devilishly, I was immediately startled out of my ruminations. “No. Why do I have to watch an anime about a playboy getting his head chopped off! And what’s an anime?”

“But Ke used to love watching that. We used to watch it multiple times together, and whenever we get to the climax of him getting his head chopped off, you would always say to me, if I were to ever go back on my promise, I want you to chop off my head.”

“…”

Exactly how suicidal was I in the past?!

Ignoring the dumbfounded look on my face right now, Duanmu Bitong looked at the pink flower etched on the back of her left hand and said, “project.”

Project? Yet before I could even begin to ask her what she meant, that pink flower began to shine. A moment later, a string of light in the shape of flowers began to project outwards, startling me to no end. My first thought was that they were hidden weapons, yet before I could try to dodge them, the light had already come to a stop between me and Duanmu Bitong. A holographic rectangle was floating in the air, on it were a bunch of words and strange pictures which I did not understand… Actually, they do seem rather familiar, but when they are stringed together like that, I have no clue…

“Oh, my bad. Ke, what you’re seeing right now is the inverse of the projection… Give me a second, I will change its position.” Realising that the words were reversed on my side, Duanmu Bitong flashed me an obviously unapologetic smile then flipped the screen to the side. However, it was still uncomfortable for me to look at the screen, seeing as I now had to tilt my neck to look at the screen. She had this exact same problem as well, thus she promptly had her own chair shifted to face the projection directly.

“That doesn’t seem too comfortable for you, thankfully the chairs can be moved. Just like this.”

I followed her actions and the chair I sat on immediately changed position to face the projection.

Seeing as the preparations were done, she nodded in approval and smiled. “Search: Brother Cheng Died Really Young… begin projection.”

Now that she had chosen the show to play, the projected screen began to shift as well. A second later, a uniformed male high schooler popped into view. Beneath him was a female high schooler whose hair and clothes were in a thorough mess right now. Because of the angle this scene was shot at, most of the important parts were blocked out. Even so… it was still rather… that… you know… that… Either way, my face instantly turned red. Not just my face, my ears turned red as well.

“Wrrrrooonggg version… this is the 16 and above version of it… we used to watch the all-ages version….” Duanmu Bitong hurriedly covered my eyes. “Don’t look! You’re not allowed to look at other girls!”

“Oh okay.” Even though I was a little confused by the whole situation, I still did as she told me, lest she took out Mr. Pointy again… that taste was… blegrhhh!

“Ke… how about we watch something else instead…”

“Alright, as long you’re happy.”

“KE!”

“Hm?”

(Say no to content thief!)

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“Did you want to look at that girl’s body just now?”

“Huh?”

“I just knew it… Ke is such a pervert!”

“What does pervert mean?” I couldn’t wrap my head around why she suddenly got so miffed, but it was at times like these that one should have the habit of clarifying matters. “Can’t I look at another person’s body?”

(Slap)

Duanmu Bitong swiftly slapped her hands together with a ferocity that was only matched by the frightening sound it produced. I reflexively blinked… so she wasn’t going to slap me…

As if she had read my mind, that ominous black aura began to slowly seep out from her soulless eyes once more. “Ke isn’t allowed to look at another girl’s body…absolutely not allowed to, okay?”

It’s that black miasma again… jeebus… this girl… I definitely cannot get married to her in the future… if we end up living together… that’s the end of me…

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With nowhere else to retreat to, I gulped down audibly and said, “Let’s say… I do happen to see one… what happens then?”

“Then you will have to take responsibility~~~” As she said that, I couldn’t find a shred of emotion in her eyes, but her lips were clearly smiling. “But Ke has already promised to be responsible for me. That’s why… if there’s anyone who dares to lay their hands on Ke, man or woman, they all have to say hello to Mr. Pointy~~~”

Mr. Pointy? You mean that disgusting chocolate? Recalling that replica knife, I couldn’t help but relax a little. Phew, if it’s just eating that horrible knife again, I should still be fine.

“Oh. Well, it’s a little unpleasant but it’s still bearable.”

Duanmu Bitong leaned over the table and looked down at me from above, her lips so close I could vaguely smell her body’s fragrance. “I’m talking about the real Mr. Pointy. The one that enters all shiny, and leaves all bloody~~~”

So it’s the deadly Mr. Pointy then… and she seems to have turned black again… I need to placate her quickly.

“Sister Bitong… you need to calm down for a second! I haven’t seen it yet… and that girl isn’t even here with us, so I can’t take responsibility in the first place… I just can’t look at another girl’s body… Yours is fine, right?”

“Look at mine…” Duanmu Bitong was immediately awakened by that question. She plopped back down onto her seat and curled up into a ball. That ominous black aura was starting to recede as well, replaced by the shy and adorable Bitong. “If… if Ke really wants to… then even if we can’t register before twenty… but…but… Mama did say she really wants a grandchild… oh… what am I even saying…”

She’s back… sheesh…

So you can’t register before twenty; I should still be 16 right now, I think. That’s four more years… still, should I just stay away from her for my own safety? At the rate she changes between those two modes, who knows when I might just suddenly die… especially when she likes those kinds of films where the male lead gets his head chopped off by the female lead…

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“Ahem, so have you calmed down?” Seeing her silent for so long, I decided to break the silence first. “I still have a ton of things to ask you since I just woke up and have no memories.”

Being questioned like that, she immediately regained her spirits. “Leave it to your sister Bitong, she’ll make all your wishes come true!”