Chapter 149
Poliana became tense, thinking that Lady Rebecca was insulting her.
"Lady Rebecca..."
Rebecca reached out and held Poliana's hands. The lady's hands were soft and warm because of her fever. She said gently, "Sir Poliana, I didn't mean to insult you in any way, certainly not regarding your relationship with his highness. I just meant that his highness values you greatly."
"Indeed, I am very lucky, but Lady Rebecca, there is no doubt that his highness cares more for his lady wives than myself, of course."
"He can always get more wives, but it would be hard to replace a loyal knight."
Rebecca gave her a lonely smile as she let go of Poliana's hands. Rebecca looked down at her blanket and asked, "Marquess, have you ever wished you were a man?"
"Never."
Poliana was asked this question frequently, and every time, her answer was firm. The fact was, she never even thought of such a thing until someone asked her and whenever she answered it negatively, people seemed surprised. And every time, they would ask the same follow-up question, "Why not? After having a life like hers, why wouldn't you wish to be born a man?"
What did people mean when they said, "a life like hers?" The funny thing was that people asked this question both before and after she became successful as Lucius the First's favored knight. Why?
During the war, no one ever asked the soldiers if they wished they were born a woman, so they didn't have to risk their lives in a battle. No one even thought to ask such a question, so why ask her if she wished she was born a man?
Lady Rebecca explained, "For me, I always imagined what it would be like to be a man. I have an older brother, so even if I was born a man, I still wouldn't have inherited the kingdom, which meant I would've done whatever I was talented at. So, what would I have become? What kind of skills would I have learned? Would my father, the king, give me lands so I can have a place to rule on my own? Even as a child, I was often called a selfish girl, everyone told me I was greedy. They would say, 'How can a girl be so greedy? Why would you want to get your own land? Just look pretty so you can get married well. If you want things, you have to marry well.' And so, I became his highness's wife."
Poliana touched Rebecca's forehead and felt her mild fever. She seemed only slightly warmer than usual, but Rebecca must've been sicker than she looked. Poliana didn't pay much attention to what the lady was saying because she assumed Rebecca wasn't herself.
'Hmm… Greedy? Lady Rebecca? I never felt that she was like that…'
As the oldest of the three wives, Rebecca was kind and generous. Poliana remembered what Lucius the First said about his wives. Unfortunately, the emperor was too busy to spend much time with the ladies. He actually spent much more time with Poliana, but still, he was married to these women so he learned a lot about them.
Lucius the First told Poliana that Tory was intelligent, Stra was kind, and Rebecca was ambitious. A woman and ambition… these two things weren't supposed to go together. When Poliana asked him if it was a good thing, Lucius the First only smiled at her as a reply. Poliana couldn't understand how he felt about it, but she didn't pry.
Greed and ambition. Now, these two things definitely went together.
Rebecca continued, "I became one of the three most important women in the continent. There could be no other position considered more powerful than being the emperor's wife. My life could not be considered more successful than the way it is right now, right? I was approved by the most important man in this world. My qualifications, including my appearance, bloodline, and personality were deemed the best and that is why I am standing here. I was acknowledged and honored by everyone, but… I still didn't like it when I was told to get married because if I was born a man, I thought I would've had a better life."
Poliana disagreed. Being the second son of a king who lost his kingdom to Lucius the First… She was certain that being his highness's wife was a much better position. Poliana thought to argue, but she decided against it. Rebecca was clearly not well so she was just talking nonsense. Poliana touched her forehead again to see if her fever was getting worse.
Rebecca added, "I was stupid. I was wrong. It turned out that I didn't have to be born a man to be able to hold a sword… A woman can do it too…"
What was the definition of happiness for a woman in this world? What caused a woman to be called greedy?
Women had more power in the southern regions compared to the north, but in truth, there wasn't that much of a difference. No matter where one lived if she was a woman, a good marriage and having sons was considered to be the biggest success a woman could achieve in her life.
Because being loved by their husbands was considered their biggest happiness, some women might feel like their lives have become meaningless once they became old. As time passed, most men would lose interest in their wives, who become old women.
A woman could be greedy only about being loved by her husband and having healthy sons, while a man could be ambitious about so many more things. A man could dream to unite the continent, to be promoted, and to become richer. All these things… they weren't allowed for a woman. At this moment, the biggest ambition the emperor's wives could dream was to have her own son become the next emperor.
Rebecca was considered a successful woman by everyone in the world so at first, she was very happy. She didn't get to see her husband very often and in fact, she had to share him with other women, but this wasn't a big deal. She was also born rich, which meant that she never had to worry about money in her life. It might have been inappropriate to admit it, but she was satisfied with her husband in bed as well. She was considered the weakest among the wives in many respects, but she was ok with this too.
Yes, Greedy Rebecca was happy at first because she knew she achieved the greatest success a woman could achieve in this world. She thought her ambition was fulfilled. She smiled happily often about it at first.
Then one day, when she was chatting with the other wives, Tory said to Stra, "Marquess Winter has become so powerful lately."
"Yes, but I still feel sad for her. I mean, she may have all the power in the world, but it doesn't change the fact that Marquess is still ugly and unmarried."
Tory and Stra didn't mean any disrespect towards Poliana by this conversation. They were, as all women in this world would, genuinely feel sympathetic towards Poliana. Rebecca was listening quietly at the time when suddenly, she learned the truth about herself.
Lady Rebecca realized that ever since she met Poliana, she has been envious of Marquess Winter.
The truth was… The wife of the most powerful man in the world was envious of this ugly spinster knightess in front of her.