I knew she cherished that woman. But it’s not very pleasant to confirm that right in front of my eyes. Still, my anger is all gone now…I wonder if this is a good thing. Hearing her cry finally brought me to my senses.
“What are you talking about? You’re the one who made Serira my nanny.”
A few seconds ago, I resented her so much that I almost wanted to kill her…yet all my anger melted away with her tears. If I raised a hand, she would wither like grass. Yet I can’t act on that instinct even if I’m furious. Just now, I wanted to crush her for being so impudent…but now that I have the chance, my hands didn’t move like they aren’t mine.
I can’t find any strength in my fingers. It is unpleasant that my body is not listening to me. The feeling that my body won’t listen to my will. As if I’m taken over.
But before I feel any discomfort, her eyes console me somehow. Just like the spring sun melts away the winter snow, the sun shines over them. It soothes his endless rage like that.
“From now on, don’t turn away from me like that so easily.”
It was an experience I never wanted to go through again.
Yes, I never knew how painful it is to see my own daughter criticize me and run away from me. Just stay with me. Because I can’t take my eyes off of you.
I’ll feel the urge to crush her and stomp her one second. And the next second, I want to hug her, listen to her, and soothe her caringly. What do I call this feeling?
I want to protect her, and I want to destroy her…
There was a red scar on her pale skin where she scratched herself while running away. And the blood was coming out of her knees as if she fall down. The look made me feel even more strange. She’s so weak. If I grab her tightly, will she break?
“‘I curse you. You made me like this. If you kill my child, I will never forgive you.'”
It reminds me of the mother of the child.
“If this child dies, you’ll lose everything you’ve ever had. But if this child survives…”
That woman spoke of a curse that wasn’t a curse.
“Then, you will regret it in another way.”
I’m already regretting it right now. Holding his only daughter in his arms quietly, Caitel prayed. Please don’t break.
…I hope I don’t end up breaking you.