Chapter 47 - Fuck

Ethan’s Pov

I can’t believe I did that. I know what she’s been through but I couldn’t help myself. A howl fills the sky. Excuses. How different is what I did from what he did to her? What is the difference between him and I?

I’ve shifted and I’m running through the hills through the territory still close to the packhouse. A run was desperately needed to clear my thoughts.

“The difference is she is ours,” Elijah reassures me.

“He thought of her as his too!” I growl in response. “We took what we wanted from her as he did to her that night and Goddess knows on what other accounts.”

The earth bends beneath me as I thunder across the lands like lightning strikes through the sky. Wind pushes past me as I press forward.

I shudder when I think of that night and what I saw out there in the gardens.

“Mate wanted it just as much as we wanted it. She would have told us no,” Elijah argues.

“Would she? After what she’s been through, that night did she tell him to stop? I didn’t hear it. I saw our mate broken, looking away from him, her eyes were void of emotion.”

My heart feels heavy and my chest feels stuffy.

“We didn’t do that to her. There’s no way we could have known what she was going through,” Elijah says.

“We need control. I need to take her and make her mine. How do I change what I am?” I ask.

“We won’t change who we are and I won’t feel guilty for being who I am. We are Alpha, we are one and the same. We should not, will not feel shame for touching what is ours,” Elijah says and I can feel his anger.

“We’re going to go back upstairs-”

I cut him off. “I couldn’t stay there after what I did. I had to get out of there. How can I face her?”

“WE DID NOTHING WRONG!” Elijah growls. “I’d slap you if I could. SOMEONE needs to slap you out of this stupor you’re in. Snap out of it. We did nothing wrong. If our mate didn’t want it she would have told us.”

“And if you need to talk to her about how she feels about being physical then do it but I will not hold back from touching what’s MINE,” Elijah says and I know he’s right.

“Alpha.” Odis mind links me and I can hear the tremor and uncertainty through the link.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” I ask a little too anxiously.

Odis hesitates before answering, “No. Nothing is wrong but… I think we should talk.”

“I’ll be right there.”

I come to a stop and turn back towards the packhouse.

***

Odis’s POV

“Beta,” Alpha’s strained voice calls me through the mind link.

My body is instantly on high alert.

“Yes, Alpha,” I answer.

“Please come to her room. I need you to stay here with her.”

“Is something wrong Alpha?” Confusion is evident in my response.

“No.”

When I get to her room, Alph is sitting on the bed looking distressed. His head is in his hands and he takes a moment to speak. I don’t know what happened but it’s none of my business.

“I need a run and I don’t want her to come out of the shower without me here. Guard her until I get back. I shouldn’t be long,” he says without looking up.

“Yes, Alpha.”

Ethan gets up and doesn’t bother putting a shirt on. He leaves without another word and I can tell he’s itching to shift. Being in wolf form gives the human counterpart the ability to detach from their problems and just focus on their wolfie tendencies.

“I hope you find relief,” I say to the empty room.

The shower is still going and I decide to stand and wait for her to come out. I look around the room and fight the urge to tidy up a bit. She’s not a slob but the call to pick up the clothes on her chair is strong. A few of the dresser dwarves are slightly open and her shoes are tossed next to the door. My fingers twitch with the need to arrange them.

“Deep breaths, Odis,” Troy chuckles.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Troy thinks my preference is laughable. 

“Her room is clean,” he says.

“I didn’t say anything,” I tell him.

He laughs.

“You don’t need to.”

This time I roll my eyes and loosen my tie. I don’t usually go into the guests’ rooms and I never thought I’d be called to Luna’s room. If she was here I wouldn’t have the time to look around her room.

The showerhead shuts off and my thoughts are thankfully interrupted. I let out a deep sigh. All too soon the bathroom door opens and Adea steps out and I’m left breathless.

My jaw drops and Troy growls low. I see her long legs first, my eyes travel up for what seems like forever. They glisten with water and I gulp when my eyes reach her thighs. She’s got a thigh gap. She’s bare and she has a small love mark that sits right above her pussy. My throat is dry as Troy sucks in a deep breath. She’s got the perfect hourglass shape and my eyes run up quickly past her plump breasts.

“Oh, fuck,” Troy moans. I can feel what he’s feeling and I cannot be feeling that right now.

His voice snaps me out of it and I clear my throat and cast my eyes to the ground. “Excuse me, Luna,” I say hoarsely.

There’s silence as she shuffles and when I look back up her body is covered in a towel. Her face is flushed and the red reaches down to her chest. I snap my eyes away.

I swallow.

“Forgive me, Luna. Alpha asked me to come and stay with you until he got back.”

Her forehead scrunches up and her button nose looks cute. “Forbidden thoughts,” I correct myself and say to Troy.

“Is he okay? Is something wrong?” She asks. Her eyes widen and I’m glad she’s got her mind off of this, particular situation.

“Nothing is wrong Luna. He went for a run. He said he’d be back soon.”

She swallows.

“Alpha,” I mind link Alpha.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” He asks.

I hesitate before answering, “No. Nothing is wrong but… I think we should talk.”

“I’ll be right there,” he responds before cutting the link.

“I’m sorry about… this,” she whispers her eyes avoiding my gaze.

I lick my dry lips. “Nothing to apologize for Luna. You didn’t know I was out here.”

There’s silence for a couple of minutes.

“I apologize for not letting you know I was here,” I tell her.

She gives me a slight smile. “I’m going to get ready…” she says.

I nod. I turn and start for the door.

“You don’t need to go out, I’ll grab my clothes and go into the bathroom,” she tells me.

When she disappears into the bathroom, I let out a long exhale. Unsteady hands reach up and tighten my tie. I straighten and clear my mind of the images there.

Troy laughs.

“Shut up,” I mumble.