Chapter 95 - What If

Adea

After a long sleepless night haunted by everything that had happened in the last month, I managed to fall asleep as the sun was creeping into the sky. By the time my alarm screamed enough to shake me awake, I dragged myself upright and crawled out of bed.

The bed was cold, I was blinded by the light that shined through the open window. Reaching around for my mate, I realized he wasn’t in bed. Finding my phone, I squinted at the phone screen to find one message from Ethan, which informed me he was personally training the new recruits today and would try to see me for dinner. I threw myself face-first into my pillow and groaned. I felt exhausted even after the 5 hours of sleep I was able to get.

“What if…” I said aloud before trailing off. What if I went out to the training grounds myself?

Korra purred.

“Now THAT’S the way a Luna thinks,” she said, loving the way my thoughts were heading.

“You think I could just show up there and start training among the new recruits?” I asked, a little unsure of myself.

“I think it’s a brilliant idea,” Korra beamed. “You could train and I could train. We would get stronger and more confident working together. It would also be beneficial for us to get to know the new recruits and create a bond.”

Throwing the blanket off, the cold air had goosebumps running up my arms. I jumped to my feet and reached for my phone again. I shot a message to Ethan, though I wasn’t sure how he would react to it and didn’t think he’d be against my training.

And if he did, I wasn’t asking. I know I hadn’t gone through the Luna Ceremony yet but I needed to know how to fight and defend myself. I needed to better myself and that included being able to help in battle.

“And what better way to get closer to your people than to train alongside them?” Korra said proudly. I could feel her excitement about me stepping up to the plate.

The thought of being by Ethan’s side out on the battlefield instead of in my room while he fought, had me bouncing on the balls of my feet. In my dream, I hadn’t been out there fighting, I had been locked in the room. By taking the initiative to train and get stronger, it made me feel like I was doing something to change the outcome.

It gave me a sense of self-worth and gave me the chance to be stronger. It was exhilarating. After I brushed my teeth, I threw on short tights and running shorts and paired them with a workout shirt and a hoodie. I didn’t see myself letting Korra out today. I needed to train myself and get in the rhythm of working out.

I opened the door and headed towards the elevator. I hesitated for a second in front of Gabe’s door. I wrote a mental note to check on him later tonight before bed. It was time that I became familiar with the duties that came with being Luna.

As I stepped off of the elevator and walked past the sitting room, I headed for the front door. When I opened it, the crisp cold air hit me, and with a deep breath, the chill air filled my lungs.

Yesterday, was sad and we won’t forget what’s happened but today is a new day. I won’t let the past define me and I’ll pave the way for my pack. I’ll rise up against every enemy that comes our way, tomorrow will be a better day.

***

My phone dinged with a text from Ethan but I didn’t check it and I didn’t reply. I just needed to hold onto this confidence I found when I woke up. I didn’t know if The Moon Goddess had let me see my dreams to help me or if I showed myself the dreams to not let history repeat itself.

I made my way to the training grounds and stopped right around the corner, laughing at myself as I spotted girls peeking in at the men training inside. I couldn’t for a moment let myself think or I’d second guess myself and end up turning around.

Before I could do just that, a prickle ran down my spine and I looked up as I felt eyes on me. My gaze fell straight on Ethan as he strolled across the field to me and I immediately fought the urge to still as his focus zeroed in on me.

I could feel the adrenaline pumping in my veins but I stood tall and ignored the eyes of the trainees as they bore into my back and face. They were new and most likely didn’t know who I was. I didn’t want them to know who I was but if they found out right now then I’d have to run with it.

“Alpha,” I said and gave a small bow. “I apologize for being tardy.”

Ethan stopped and stared at me and I wondered what he would say or do. The muscles in his jaw twitched and I knew he was upset but I would be here today and I would train.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “I don’t remember us talking about your training.”

I half considered snapping at him because I shouldn’t need to ask to train but I held my tongue instead.

“Are you ignoring me?” he demanded, leaning forward so that he was close enough that only I could hear. “I’m really upset you made this decision on your own Adea but I won’t stop you from being here,” he whispered. “Also, pack members don’t usually look into their Alpha’s eyes defiantly,” he chuckled before leaning back.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked, my voice booming so the others could hear as I put my hands on my waist.

Ethan growled at me. “I want you to bow your head when I walk into a room. I want you to learn your place and stick to it. If I say jump, I want you to ask how high. Why? Because I am Alpha,” he roared as he looked across the field. I knew he didn’t mean what he said to me but I hadn’t seen this side of him. I’ll never admit it out loud but it was a tad bit scary.

“Forgive me, Alpha,” I whispered and ran over to the new recruits.