Chapter 142 - Off-limits

Gabe

A deep chuckle rumbled behind me and I realized this person was getting a kick out of my fear. I quickly went from scared to angry. It must be nice to laugh at someone’s fear of dying. I’ll kick this kidnapper’s ass and steal my resolve before I whirl around. I’m frozen as I come face to face with a charming dimple, nice white teeth, and a clean smooth face.

Odis.

Beta Odis’s shoulders are hunched, his head leaning forward, and his eyes squeezed shut. His laughter melted my anger and I wasn’t sure I liked that. I was stuck between being happy and knowing full well that I wanted to slap him a second ago. I went with the section option and slapped him in the chest but if he noticed he didn’t show it.

Bastard.

“I thought I was going to die!” I hissed. I meant to sound angry, I was angry, I should have sounded angry but my hiss sounded flirtatious. He burst into laughter and it was the first time I’d ever seen it. I wasn’t sure what to do or what to say. I was stuck staring at him. Beta Odis was beautiful and for a second, I couldn’t breathe.

I shook my head until I’d successfully rid the spell his laughter cast. “What do you want, Beta?” I asked. I’m still shocked with the Odis in front of me. He isn’t glaring at me and there’s no look of disgust in his eyes. It probably isn’t the right time but the memory of his firm hand on me when I struggled to get my shit together for Ady resurfaces. The memory of his smile of approval when I’d eaten the food he bought me, the way he always looks so clean, the need to dirty him, the elevator incident where he grabbed Sasha…

“I normally don’t interfere with who you sink your teeth into but this one,” he said, his eyes sliding up my body, “is off-limits, Sash.”

I swallow.

Drunk Gabe loves this memory. Drunk Gabe welcomes the tingles that tickle the back of my neck. Drunk Gabe enjoys the possessiveness he showed that day. Drunk Gabe needs to stop.

“As I said, he’s off-limits and he won’t be needing your… services ever again.”

Odis’s words light a fire in my belly and I can feel my control start to slip.

“I’m sorry,” he laughed as he held his stomach. “I’ve never heard something so funny!” He swiped at his eyes. “One minute you were singing Mary had a fucking lamb to stopping completely. Next minute you’re screaming you don’t wanna die! And you squealed.” Odis burst into laughter again and I was ready to punch him. Tipsy Gabe was ready to fight him. “You fucking squealed,” he gasped.

“I’m glad you find my pain funny, Beta,” I said to him.

He froze. “Don’t do that,” he said.

I eyed him as he stood up and straightened. The laughing Odis was gone and his usual cool mask was in its place as he stared at me.

Thump.

Th-thump.

“Do what, Beta?” I asked as I swirled and continued walking. My heart thumped in my chest and I scolded it.

Th-thump.

Shh.

Relax.

“You know what,” he said from behind me. I didn’t dare look back at him. I didn’t wanna know what look he had on his face now. I wanted to know but I didn’t trust myself. What If I saw something I liked? I knew he was following me but why?

Why was he following me?

We walked across the driveway and into the lobby and I ignored the hopeful drunk thoughts that rushed to answer that question. The thoughts only made my heart speed up. My shredded heart wished he’d grab my hand or tell me he wanted more but my mind told me that wouldn’t be a good idea. My mind entertained the idea of if.

If… he grabbed my mind, it would only hurt.

If… he told me he wanted more, my heart would be happy.

If… he followed me into my room, we’d have fun.

If… we crossed the line, it would only end in disaster.

If… my heart opened for him, it would only shatter when he finds his mate.

If… that happened, I don’t know if I could handle it.

If… we did that, we’d betray Olivia… wouldn’t we?

If… we did, would she hate me?

We stood in front of the elevators and the noise of him pressing the arrow button slapped me to attention. The more these questions swirled in my mind, the more the hold weakened. These thoughts and questions are too much for drunk Gabe. This is dangerous territory. Sober Gabe would agree. Drunk Gabe needs to wait for Sober Gabe. Sober Gabe will make the right decisions. I nod. Yes. Sober Gabe will make the right choice.

But.

But…

But… what if Drunk Gabe doesn’t want the right decision?

What if… this is the only time when Drunk Gabe will have the chance to touch him?

What if… Drunk Gabe is selfish?

What if… Drunk Gabe doesn’t want to think about anything else right now?

What if… Drunk Gabe doesn’t want to worry about what will happen tomorrow?

What if… What if Drunk Gabe wants to do what Drunk Gabe wants?

My eyes swirled to him beside me and looked up his frame as he leaned back against the wall. My eyes trailed up his body and the elevator opened. I turned from him and walked to my door, the first one on the left. We were at my door and I refused to look at him as I unlocked it and stepped in. I walked into my empty, dark, cold room and the familiar feeling of despair started to creep into the tips of my fingers. Grief whispered in my ear, promising to wait for sober Gabe.

My feet stop moving and I take a few breaths. Would it be so terrible for me to do what I want? Can I be selfish for one night? The small voice in my head was telling me to keep walking. It begged me to get away from him.. I ignored it and turned to face him.