Chapter 87

Like the moon that was never full for a very long time, Edwin suffered from a vengeance that could never be satisfied. He kills, kills, kills, and it’s not enough. He felt lonely rather than happy when the plan was carried out without error. It felt like he was walking slowly into a bottomless swamp.

Even so, Edwin couldn’t stop himself. His identity had long since been lost. The anger and hatred stemming from the sense of loss that was deeper than the abyss and wider than the sea blinded his eyes and clouded his mind. He no longer even knew for whom all this was for. A broken machine with a broken control. That’s exactly what he looks like now.

‘Edwin. I want you to be happy.’

Under thousands of leaves blowing in the wind, Herietta had whispered to him who had to go on a long journey.

‘Wherever you are, whatever you do, just be happy.’

Edwin threw his head back and leaned against the door. In the darkness, in the empty space, the face of the person he missed the most flickered. Herietta, who was widening her eyes and looked around. Then, when she saw him looking at her, she smiled as blooming as a flower.

Even though he knew it was an illusion, he couldn’t take his eyes off it. If he stretched out his hand, he wouldn’t reach her. If he tried to talk to her, she wouldn’t answer, but that was fine. In his memory, she will always smile at him. Without knowing that he had become a terrifying and terrible monster.

There was a gap between her and him.

A lifelong gap that cannot be narrowed no matter how hard he tries and struggles.

The heart that he couldn’t hand over to her became lingering and longing. It tightened his breath. The longing came rushing to him. His face twisted in agony, and he closed his eyes with difficulty.

* * *

The Bahat family was a famous knight family with a long history in Kustan. Under the strict guidance of her parents, who wanted her to continue the family’s reputation, Lionelli Bahat had to attend rigorous early-morning training every day.

Unlike the daughters of other families, who were given dresses or dolls, she was given a sharp sword and heavy shield. It happened when she was only seven years old.

Rain or shine, training continued. Even when Lionelli got the flu and had a high fever, the Bahats drove their daughter outside. In this world, only the strong can survive in the end. They used to say that often.

When she was young, she was resentful of her parents. However, as she got older, she was just grateful for their choices and teachings. Whatever the process, she was able to enter the difficult Kustan royal knights at a fairly young age. And she was able to grow into a great knight.

Lionelli’s appearance was quite different from that of girls from other families. Her hair cut short like a man. Eyes that give a sharp impression. Strong chin. And broad shoulders.

At first glance, it was difficult to tell whether she was a woman or a man. Perhaps because she has led a rather rough life alongside sword-holding warriors, she exudes an unusual aura that intimidates her opponents just by standing still.

But Lionelli didn’t care about that at all. Because the most important thing in her life was to be a good knight, not a beautiful young lady.

‘Lionelli, you’re a woman.’

‘No matter what, you’re not a man.’

Lionelli hated these words terribly. Even so, there were not just one or two colleagues who could not even beat her, yet talked about it.

They said it as if it were for her sake, but she knew full well that it was not at all what they meant. They would hate it to death for admitting that they had lost to her. She was getting sick of the duplicity of their attitude.

Although Kustan is more tolerant of women entering the military than other countries, discrimination against gender clearly existed. Even looking at the high-ranking positions in the military, the proportion of men was far higher than that of women. Also, promotion was much faster for men than for women.

It was said that it was a reasonable treatment given by calculating individual skills and achievements, but no one believed it straight away.

Therefore, Lionelli tried hard. So that she won’t be caught by anyone. To become far superior than anyone else. She was one of the few people who had experienced firsthand effort really mattered.

Lionelli’s skills improved day by day. In particular, in terms of agility and skill, it was said that no one in the Knights Ordercould match her. There were people who envied her and were jealous of her, but they didn’t openly argue with her. It was because they knew that even if they threw her a challenge, they would not be able to defeat her easily.

Still, Lionelli was always dissatisfied. Everyone acknowledged her skills, but the dangerous or important missions were always given to her other colleagues. Even when she protested that it was an unfair decision, no one listened to her.

“Don’t be too impatient. Won’t your turn come someday?”

When Lionelli protested loudly after confirming that her name was not on the list of knights to go to war against Brimdel, the knight commander replied with a sullen face.

“You were excluded from this list, but you will definitely be on the next list. So wait a little bit.”

It wasn’t a promise of when that would be. It was just a word without a promise. But the words of the knight commander with a clear rank order were absolute. No matter how unfair it was, Lionelli, a mere knight, did not dare to rebel. She had no choice but to let go of her anger and step back.

Time passed just like that. More than half a year had passed since the war started but Lionelli was still unable to appear. No matter how much she polished her skills, her chance never came.

At some point, she stopped listening with anticipation to see if her name would be on the military dispatch list sent by the upper management every month. With a feeling close to desperation, she just watched her comrades excitedly preparing to dispatch.

Then one day, the news came that the knight commander had changed last night.

“Everyone gather at the training ground right now.”

Instead of a friendly first greeting, the young man newly appointed as the knight commander gave a coercive order. The knights groaned.

One, they were surprised that he was a completely unfamiliar person, not from the knights order. And two, surprised that his appearance was so mesmerizingly attractive. And three, surprised that he challenged the previous commander in one-on-one combat and won.

In order to rise to the position of knight commander, the principle was to join the Knights Order, accumulate years of experience, and climb the hierarchy step by step. Of course there were exceptions. Either they were a talented enough person to ignore the principle, or, as the man standing in front of them did: face the current knight commander, risking the position of knight commander and win.

If these two conditions were satisfied, they could be promoted to the position of knight commander at once without going through the above complicated procedures with the permission of the superiors.

Although the previous knight commander had reached the age of 40, he was still considered the strongest in the Knights Order. Those who were blinded by power and applied for a confrontation for his position were eventually decapitated. It was a fact that every knight in this place knew.

Was the previous knight commander’s condition in a bad shape?

Could it have been some dirty trick?

Seeing his handsome appearance, the knights whispered among themselves. Their eyes were full of deep suspicion. He was tall and well-boned, but a little thin and did not look very strong. It was even more so, when the comparison was done with the previous commander who had a very good physique.

No matter how much they rubbed their eyes, he looked more like a beautiful artist than a military commander who had lived a rough life. Sitting by a sunny window and playing a harp would be more suitable for that kind of image.

Why did the superiors condone this?

Could it be that he bewitched an important person from upper management with that face?

Could it be that the superiors have finally gone mad? She was starting to get worried.

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