169 Painful memories

"We will inform you about our decision by tonight. If you clear this round, there will be two more interviews, one with the senior management and the final one with the company's CEO," the HR manager told Jia Li.

She smiled and thanked the interviewer. Making her way out of the office building, she wasn't very impressed with the size of it. When she had landed in London early this morning, it had been snowing. She had missed Moganshan terribly for a moment, standing amidst the hustle bustle of Heathrow airport.

Though the office location was in the very prestigious Hyde Park East corner, it was a small, nondescript kind of a place. When Jia Li had tried to search information about the company in Tunisia, she had only managed to glean very little about their business. Since she had already committed to the travel in her initial excitement, she couldn't back away from it then. She had quickly updated Karim on the same and had departed that day.

The interviewer was thorough regarding her previous work experience, quizzing her on her strengths and weaknesses etc. But when Jia Li had asked her about the company's main business, the woman had smiled and told her that the CEO would explain it better and at length when she met him.

Jia Li hope that she wouldn't make the cut and hopefully they won't call her back for the next round. The set up didn't look convincing enough for her to be excited about it. She spent the remaining time, soaking in the local sights. She had been to London a couple of times in the past but mainly on quick official trips and had never had the opportunity to explore the vintage but vibrant city.

There was something charming about walking the cobbled streets of London. The bout of loneliness hit her suddenly, leaving her almost choking on her emotions. Her eyes blurred and breath hitched. She sat down on one of the benches provided at the side of the road.

"What is wrong with me? This is no time for being weak and emotional. I need to get a grip," she tried to calm herself down.

After a while, she sought out the busiest pub in the area and went in, hoping that the noise would fill up the silence inside her. She wasn't a drinker. Once she felt back in control of herself, she stepped out of the pub.

She had walked up to Covent Garden from Hyde Park post the interview. The arty vibe in the surroundings cheered her up slightly. A live band was setting themselves up to perform on the street. Looking at those young, fresh faces, she couldn't help but think of the two dearest boys of her past.

She was sure that Li Jie and Deng Chung would have come to know about the situation now. She also knew that both of them would have been hurt by her actions, especially Li Jie. But she didn't want to repeat the mistakes of her past. By confiding in him, she would have asked him to choose sides between her and Tang which wasn't fair.

Tang…she had carefully avoided even thinking the name in her head, forget saying it!! Right then, she heard the singer from that group starting to croon -

Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Jia Li couldn't hear anymore. She excused herself from the crowd which had gathered around and walked off in a hurry, lest the tears get a chance to fall down.

She hailed a cab and rattled off directions to her hotel. She couldn't hold in the waterworks when she finally reached her room. She wailed in her pillow, punching it repeatedly. The frustration of being stuck in unfair circumstances had reached its peak. She hadn't cried like this since she had first broken up with Tang. At that time, it had felt as if she wouldn't be able to survive the separation.

But she had.

And she would survive now as well.